Love You Madly
by liljenrocks
Summary: Wolf Territory-The many adventures of the slightly crazy Claire and her Quil. A spin off of "Love You for Always" and "A Love that Defies All Logic."  Written in Ninadoll's universe.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: SM owns most of it. The rest belongs to Ninadoll and me!**

**Thank you so much to Ninadoll for being an awesome beta, friend, and supporter! She is truly amazing and very patient with me! If you haven't yet, please check out her stories, **_**Rest of Forever**_**, **_**How Wonderful Life Is, Now You're in the World, **_**and **_**How the Mighty Fall. **_**You will love them! Trust me!**

**Thank you as well to my friend Shojioxlow! We are anxiously waiting to purchase our **_**Water for Elephants**_** tickets!**

**This takes place way before the Epilogue in **_**Love You for Always**_**. It takes place about two months after the birth of Cullen Clearwater, in June. I hope you guys enjoy! Please check my webs and blog for pics!**

_**LOVE YOU MADLY**_

**Prologue: The Meaning of My Life**

_**"As for me, to love you alone, to make you happy, to do nothing which would contradict your wishes, this is my destiny and the meaning of my life." ~ Napoleon Bonaparte**_

**Claire's POV**

Every fairy tale starts out with the same beginning, "Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, there lived a princess in search of her prince, blah, blah, blah, blah." Well, I myself was never a fan of fairytales really. I didn't think it was fair that a boy always had to rescue the girl, or that the wolf was punished because Little Red Riding Hood was wandering the forest all by herself and happened to stumble upon a pretty damn smart wolf, if I may say so. Besides, really, who lets a kid just traipse around the forest with a basket of muffins and a flimsy red cape? No, those fairy tales were not for me. However, I have always believed in Prince Charming, in a way, I guess. Not as someone to save the princess from a high tower or wake her from a coma with a sloppy kiss. I believed in a Prince Charming that truly loved the princess, that saw her as his equal, but would willingly give his life for her protection. Maybe the reason I only believe in that part of the story is because I've always had my Prince Charming. Just like the books, he was tall and handsome and willing to fight for my honor. But, unlike the books, he didn't have a sword or a noble steed. There were no dragons to slay or witches to defeat. No, my Prince Charming was a werewolf.

No, that doesn't sound right. No, he was, he is…he's a guardian…a protector…a warrior. He just happens to be able to transform magically into a wolf to do all those things. And he was mine. My guardian, my protector, my warrior, my friend, my lover, that was him, that was my Prince Charming.

I was two years old the day that I met my Prince. I knew, that day, that I would marry him. I knew that I would be his wife, his equal. He would be my family and I his. I may have fawned over the occasional rock-n-roll star or hot actor, but while other girls practiced their signature by adding on the name of the newest "IT" boy, I only had one name to practice, Ateara. I wasn't girly really, but when I was about ten, I had a whole notebook devoted entirely to my future name. Claire Ateara; Claire Elizabeth Ateara; Claire Elizabeth Munholland-Ateara. It is a beautiful name, if I do say so myself. And today, after years of waiting, I would marry my Prince Charming.

"Are you nervous?" my Dad asked as he hooked my arm into his.

"About marrying Quil?" I asked. That truly had to be the most preposterous questions ever. There was no one I loved or trusted like I loved Quil. There was no one I ever imagined marrying but Quil. I had been practicing for this day for years. I used to spend hours using my Mom's good lace tablecloth walking around my bedroom pretending to be a bride. And in all those hours, in all those years, there was only ever one man waiting for me at the end of the aisle.

In my playtime, I hadn't really considered all the other things that went into a wedding. I just thought about the dress and the groom. In reality, it took a lot to get from the dress _to_ the groom. While most people had flower girls, I was part of an extended family (a pack, if you will) that seemed to produce only XY-chromosomes. Therefore, I had more than one ring bearer. My Aunt Emily's son, Remy Uley, stood next to Liam Clearwater in little black trousers and white shirts. This was a casual wedding. I believe I had actually called it "vintage casual." Aunt Emily, who was planning the wedding with the help of my mother, didn't seem too impressed with my whole scheme. The girls wore black Audrey-Hepburn style dresses with bouquets of white anemones, while the groomsmen looked freaking hot in black pants and white shirts, san ties. I hadn't seen my groom yet but I knew he was going to put all the men to shame.

"Let's get this show on the road," Aunt Emily clapped her hands like a wedding planning pro.  
>I felt myself grip onto my Dad a little tighter and watched while Emily lined up my future mother-in-law and Luka. Anna Ateara looked towards me as the doors of rec center opened, and winked. I think she had been waiting for this day even longer then I had. It was almost surreal to watch her, in a light yellow dress that seemed to match the sunlight that billowed in from the park outside, and then watch her turn her head and walk out of the rec center.<p>

"Calvin, get your mother," Emily gripped my brother and moved him to stand in the spot that had just become vacant. My brother did as he was told and linked Mom's arms with his.  
>Mom turned and mouthed, "I love you," one last time before she followed Anna.<p>

"Almost time," Dad whispered into my ear. My heart sped up and I felt my breathing change. More than anything though, as everyone moved up to their spot, I felt the familiar tug in chest and in the pit of my stomach. It was pulling me towards _him_.

Emily shut the doors and I resisted the urge to howl because dammit, I wanted to run out the doors to my Quil. "You look really pretty, Claire," Remy said as he and Liam ran past me.

"Thanks, Rem," I said to his back.

Remy and Liam stood next to each other, each given a black and white pillow with the letters C and Q monogrammed on them. I wasn't sure it was good idea to give our wedding rings to two little boys to carry on a pillow but I had been assured it would be okay and so far they both seemed to be taking their responsibilities rather seriously. Petra and my sisters, Calista and Cascia, lined up directly behind them, side by side. At least I'd been smart to cut down time by having them all walk out together. Petra was a newlywed herself. She'd been smart and eloped. I was slightly jealous of her and that decision right now, knowing that she didn't have an aunt that was channeling her inner-General Patton, to boss her around.

"You okay, baby girl?" Dad asked. In all the movies, at the happily-ever-after, you never hear how the king and queen felt giving up their only daughter to marry the man who saved her from a life of solitary confinement in a tower, or anything like that. I could see how my Dad felt though. He knew that I loved Quil and that Quil adored me (probably a little too much, he said) but the tears that were welling up in his eyes told me more than anything that this king was definitely going to have a hard time letting his princess go.

"I am, just ready to get out there and get hitched," I joked. My attempt to lighten the mood failed miserably though.

Dad sighed loudly. "I should be used to that by now, you wanting to get away from your old man to run off with Quil. I'm not though. I feel like I had two years with you, where I was your hero and the only guy you loved. But you haven't really been mine in over sixteen years. Seems like today I won't have any part in who you are."

"That's not true, Dad," I said, holding on tighter to his arm. "I may be a lot of things but one of the things I'm most proud to be is your daughter. You will always be a part of me, part of Quil is a part of you, and knowing that you guys get along so well makes this easier for me. Cuz trust me Dad, I'm excited but I'm pretty damn scared."

Dad chuckled at me. "Not my Claire, she's not scared of anything. That's cuz she can do anything and she'll kick anyone else's ass if they try to stand in her way."

"Damn straight," I nodded.

Emily had Ava ready to go at the door and Ava smiled and blew me a kiss before making her departure. Then the tug got stronger and I felt like a little girl trying to walk her giant Labrador Retriever, pulled this way and that but knowing exactly where I needed and wanted to go.  
>"Show time, Claire," Aunt Emily smiled and shut the doors again. Dad pulled me towards the spot where all the others had stood. He took a deep breath and I followed suit as Aunt Em walked over to me. "You look absolutely amazing. I never would've thought I'd see this day seventeen years ago when one little look…" She stopped and looked up at me.<p>

"Showed me my destiny," I finished for her and leaned to kiss her cheek. "Thank you, Auntie Em. For everything."

"My pleasure," she giggled. "Now go get your wolf."

It literally was like a scene in the movie as the rec center doors opened onto the small park area outside. The sun was shining, reflecting off all the white chairs. But like a fairytale, it was almost as if a ray of light shone to the place where I felt compelled to almost run to.

"Quil," I whispered to myself. I was supposed to wait for Dad to take the first step but I pulled him as I started to briskly walk up the aisle, ignoring the chuckles around me until I was right in front of _him_.

"Couldn't wait to see me, Claire-bear?" Quil whispered as he took my hand, then shook my Dad's and locked eyes with me. I wondered if it were possible reimprint on someone because at that moment, I felt a stronger connection than I ever had with Quil. Even during sex, there wasn't this feeling, this intense, crazy love.

He led me up the steps of the gazebo to stand in the middle, our eyes still together. I saw something then that captivated me. I loved Quil, I always tried to do what I could to make him happy and let him know what he meant to me. But looking at him, I literally got how much he loved me, how much he was devoted to me. His eyes said it all. We were surrounded by the people we loved but we only belonged with one another. And as the judge jabbered on about love and commitment and blah, blah, blah, I made my own vow to Quil. It was an unspoken vow but it was still there.

Everyday, until the day I take my last breath, I will do whatever I can to keep that look on my Quil's face. I would spend my whole life making sure that he never questioned my love or devotion to him. I would do whatever I had to make sure every day was the best day of his life. I would slay a thousand dragons and fight off the worst witch to make sure he knew it.

He was perfect. He was mine, and at that moment, I believed nothing could ever change that.


	2. The Happiest Place on Earth

**Disclaimer: SM owns most of it. The rest belongs to Ninadoll and me!**

**Thank you so much to Ninadoll for being such an amazing beta, friend, and supporter! She is awesome and a very talented writer! If you haven't yet, please check out her stories, **_**Rest of Forever**_**, **_**How Wonderful Life Is, Now You're in the World, **_**and **_**How the Mighty Fall. **_**You will love them! Trust me!**

**Thank you as well to my friend Shojioxlow! Tomorrow is WFE day! Woohoo! **

**Thank you to everyone that read and reviewed the last chapter! I seriously appreciate every single one! ****Please check out my blog and webs for pictures! **

_**LOVE YOU MADLY**_

**CHAPTER ONE: THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH**

"_**In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine."**__** ~ Maya Angelou**_

**Claire's POV**

I was exhausted. It was just that simple. After the most gorgeous wedding ceremony in the world (and I had been to some doozies), I wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed, cuddle next to my husband. My husband…that sounded so much more perfect than I could've ever imagined. The bed would have to wait though. At least for a little bit.

"The captain has turned on the fasten seat belt sign, indicating that we have begun to make our descent into Orlando. Please make sure your seats and tray tables are in the upright and locked position," the flight attendant said. I had already developed three different plans to beat the shit out of her after she oogled my hubby a little too long. It was starting to get beyond annoying. "Can I get you another blanket, Mr. Ateara?" she asked Quil and I could practically feel myself starting to vibrate like a wolf might before they phase.

"We're fine," I blurted out. I think I did that because if she said one more word to _my husband_, I would hit her. And the last thing I needed was to spend my wedding night being held by Homeland Security in a tiny holding cell for threatening a flight attendant.

It seemed to do the trick too. She huffed and then turned around and walked back to her station, with a little less skip in her step and a little less shake in her ass. "Someone's possessive," Quil joked. He pulled me close to him and I contemplating taking my seat belt off and crawling in his lap. Knowing my luck though, the bitch blonde with fake boobs would come traipsing back to yell at me to put my seat belt back on. Lord knows I didn't need that. No, no lap sitting. I would just have to settle for being at his side, his arm around me while he kissed my hair and neck.

"I can't help it. Really, she was making a fool of herself. I just saved her further humiliation," I said with an evil laugh sounding in my head.

"Uh huh," he kissed my neck again and then nuzzled his way back up to my ear, whispering breathily. "You can be possessive of me any day, honey, because if any guy so much as looks at you a little too long, he won't be extending his family tree, if you catch my drift." I knew it was supposed to be sexy but I had to cringe at the thought of Quil kicking someone in the family jewels just for a glance. The cringe didn't last long though because as soon as he said it, his lips were back on my neck. Quil knew exactly what he was doing too. He'd learned from early on in our adult relationship, my neck was more sensitive than any part of my body and I'd been known to have an orgasm just by his tongue running up from the base to my ear.

"You have to wait," I said. I pulled back as fast as I could but I wasn't really any match for his wolf speed and he pulled me back to him. "We can't do this, not here. I refuse to have sex for the first time as husband and wife on an airplane." I must have said it a little too loud because I heard a gasp and turned to my right to see a frowning mother, surrounded by a sleeping husband in an ugly brown Hawaiian shirt and one kid in her lap. There were three more kids around her and I figured by their absolute lack of manners, as they were kicking the man's seat and laughing, that they clearly belonged to her. "Sorry," I whispered to her. I wasn't, sorry that is. What I wanted to say was, "Why do you have your kids on a flight that won't reach it's destination until well passed midnight?" I didn't say that though, I let it go.

"Are you tired?" Quil asked.

"A little," I answered quietly. "But I'm not too tired, if that's what you're asking."

I heard the mom gasp again. "I can't wait until we can have a little privacy," Quil whispered into my ear again. I could almost feel myself purr a little like a cat as he nuzzled behind my ear.  
>I could feel a change in the air pressure and knew we were close to landing. I'd only been on a plane once before and that was for a lame trip to Washington D. C. with my family four years ago. It was the only trip my family has ever taken, unless you count car rides to Makah to see my grandparents, and I don't. I remembered from the last flight the way you could almost feel your whole body drop with the plane, like slow motion. It made me feel like a giant rubber band that a kid was stretching and then popping. I tried to imagine that in my head as the plane continued to drop.<p>

"It's okay, Claire. I'm never going to let anything happen to you, honey," Quil said. He must have felt how much I was cringing at the rubber band thought. I loved the feeling of being in Quil's arms and it made all my nerves melt away.

I don't know how long it took for the plane to finally touch down or how long it took for us to get from the terminal to baggage claim and then to the limo that was waiting for us. The driver, a man decked out in a black suit with a driver's hat, stood in the baggage claim area holding a sign: Mr. and Mrs. Ateara. It was so amazing to see it written out like that. It made it seem more…real.

"Can we nap in the limo?" I asked.

Quil chuckled and held the door open for me. "We could but then you'd miss the champagne." The boy knew how to get my attention.

"Champagne?" I asked with a sly smile. I was technically underage but what the hell! It was my wedding day after all.

I slid in the car with Quil behind me. He pulled the bottle out of the ice bucket as the driver put our bags in the trunk. Quil popped the cork and poured us each a glass. I sipped slowly, knowing that my alcohol tolerance was quite low. My husband on the other hand could down a bottle and feel nothing. For now, I'd just let the bubbles tickle my throat as I sipped. It was a quiet drive. Quil and I didn't say too much, he just held me while we drank. Then I spotted it.

"Quil! Look! It's Cinderella's Castle!" I squealed seeing the landmark from the highway. "Look, Quil! Look!"

"Is it exactly what you imagined it to be?" he said with a huge grin.

"It is!" I smiled back. When I was a little girl, Quil had promised me that one day he'd take me to Disney World. I never dreamed it would be for our honeymoon though. It seemed the perfect place for us. Our relationship had changed so much from him being a big brother to me, to him being a friend, and now my husband. But he never forgot the promises he made when we both were younger.

"And that's our hotel," Quil said. "We're staying at the Animal Kingdom Lodge."

I looked towards the direction that Quil was pointing to see the African lodge ahead of us. It was so magnificent and so much more than I deserved. I remember what I'd said to myself at the wedding. The way Quil looked at me, the love he showed me. How could I not devote my life to making him everything he needed me to be?

I turned to Quil and pulled his chin to kiss him. "Thank you," I whispered.

"You're welcome, sweetheart," he smiled into the kiss. "Thank you for being my wife." It was cheesy but it was all Quil and I loved it.

The driver pulled into the drive outside of the lodge while I put Quil and mine's glasses away. I took a deep breath and held tight to my husband's hand as we walked into the rustic looking lobby. "Wow," I said under my breath. It was like actually being in Africa, with the most elaborate patterns and beautiful brown and orange tones.

"We'd like to check-in, please," Quil nuzzled my hair as he talked to the front desk attendant. "Mr. and Mrs. Quil Ateara."

"Aw, honeymooners?" the attendant asked. She started typing quickly in the computer.

"Yep," Quil chuckled, though by the sound of her fingers tapping the keys so fast, I wasn't sure if it hadn't been more of a rhetorical question.

"Yes, yes. It looks like your standard room has been upgraded to a Savanna View Villa," she smiled at Quil and I wanted to rip her ponytail right out her head. Could she not see he's was with his wife? His new wife?

"I'm sorry, there must be a mistake, I didn't reserve a villa," Quil said politely. It didn't really matter to me where we stayed honestly. I'd be happy to sleep in the parking lot as long as I was assured that I would wake up in Quil's arms.

The girl clicked on the keys some more. "You know Jacob Black? I think its that dude that owns Shipo Bikes?"

"Yeah, why?" he asked.

"The playboy partner dude just got married, right? To some gorgeous European chick, right? She is so lucky. My boyfriend has a Shipo bike and it's the coolest thing ever! You're so lucky that you know them." The desk clerk went on. Quil grinned but I had to fight the little bit of jealousy that crept up in my chest. Quil did all the custom paint jobs for Shipo and all kinds of fancy-dancy stuff. He is a true artist, but the difference was, he didn't have the fame and recognition that Jake, Embry, and Paul had, nor did he have the money. None of that mattered to me because I loved him no matter what. I told him once, when I was younger and he was reading different Mother Goose stories to me, that I'd love him even if we had to live in a shoe. It just made me feel a little bad for Quil. "It looks like Mr. Black's the one that ordered the upgrade. There's a note here that says, 'It's about damn time!'"

I looked at Quil and Quil looked at me before we both burst out into laughter. If anyone knew the plight of a wolf and his once child imprint, it was definitely Jake. Quil and I had waited almost seventeen years to get married and I think Jake thought we both needed a little luxury.

The attendant finished the computer work and handed Quil the key to our villa, then motioned for the porter to come to us. "Mr. Black also had us put in a few little special extras in your room. Just follow Manny and he'll take you to your room."

I kinda felt like a dope because I couldn't keep the excited energy from seeping out of every pore as we walked down the halls and around the corners. It was like the coolest place I'd ever been, ever.

"Here we are, Mr. and Mrs. Ateara," the porter said, stopping in front of our room. For some strange reason I felt my heart speed up a little. I don't know why, I knew we were going to have sex and we'd had sex a lot during our relationship but for some reason, now, knowing I was his wife, it made it different. I don't know why, nothing had really changed. We'd signed a piece of paper, had some cake, and flown across the country for our honeymoon but nothing was any different than it was before. I'd always known that I was going to marry Quil but now that it had actually happened, it felt…exciting?

The porter opened the door and took our bags in. "Mrs. Ateara," Quil whispered in my ear and I grinned thinking about the total love and admiration in his voice. He released my hand and followed Manny into the room, pulling a few bills from his wallet and handing them to Manny as he stepped out. I started to step in but Quil stopped me with a, "No!" My eyes widened and I started to panic. "I have to carry you over the threshold." He bounded over to me with two steps and scooped me up so quickly that I yelped a little. "This is how I'm supposed to do it," he said, carrying me bridal style into the room. I felt myself curl into his hold, remembering all the times he'd held me like this.

He kicked the door closed and carried me in to the room. I looked around the room that had been decorated with candles and roses and champagne. "Courtesy of Jake?" I asked.

"Yep," he answered. I sighed as he stepped over our luggage to the giant king size bed. He laid me down ever-so-gently and then moved so that he was on top of me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled his lips to mine. I closed my eyes and breathed in his hunkified scent. I was in total heaven, his tongue swiping my lip and inching his fingers up my dress. "Wait," I said into the kiss. "I need to change." I had sexy lingerie and I intended to wear it, dammit.

Quil rolled off me with a chuckle and I hopped off the bed, grabbing my bag as I ran to the bathroom. Ava, Petra and I had spent one full day in Seattle looking for just the right wedding night lingerie. We had the normal convo about color or style. Crotchless v. crotched. Stockings v. no stockings. In the end, it was Petra who picked out the simple white gartered nightie with matching g-string. It really was gorgeous and the white lace complimented my skin tone quite nicely. I was glad that I was able to have this moment, this lingerie. It may seem silly to some but the undies I wore the first time we made love were much different. I closed my eyes and thought about that day.

_"Are you sure you wanna do this?" Quil asked. We were sitting in his Jeep in front of Casa de Clearwater where Quil was picking up prophylactics for the evening. "We don't have to, you know?"_

_This was not going how I expected it to. I'd seen enough teenage angst movies to know that I was supposed to be telling him to stop, not the other way around. Lately, things had been getting hot and heavy in the make-out department and I was afraid that if we dry humped each other one more time, our clothes would catch fire from the friction! I wanted more. I'd been dreaming about sex with Quil since I started high school, and like the gentleman he is, he wouldn't have any kind of relationship with me until I was of age. I didn't blame him, I knew it had to suck for him, but I didn't blame him. Then, just before I actually turned 18, some dumbass vampire built a newborn vampire army and we wolf-girls were all faced with the real possibility that our wolves might not come back to us. So I did what I did best when it came to Quil, I begged and pleaded for him to consider a relationship with me, even though I was only 17 at the time. He thought I was being ridiculous. Well, he thought that until he came back with a few more vampire pains, then, it seemed, things were different._

_"Look at me, Quil," I said, turning his chin. That didn't seem to work though and he fought against me. He turned his head back quickly and all I could hear was him tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. For a moment I did kinda feel a little guilty, like I was corrupting him or something, even though I knew I was the virgin and he wasn't, it still made me feel horrible. I climbed across the console and straddled his legs. This time I was able to get a hold of him and I held his face to look into my eyes.  
><em>

_"God, you're beautiful," Quil said. I knew I had him then. All it took was a look in the eyes, just like with the imprint that tied us to each other in the beginning, that was all it took to reel him in.  
>"I want to do this, Quil," I kissed him as I felt his hands reach my backside. "I love you, my big, bad wolf."<br>_

_Quil pulled me closer. "I just don't want to hurt you, you know what it does to me to see you in pain."  
><em>

_"It'll only hurt for a minute," I kissed him again then took his hand from my ass and linked our fingers. "I have never wanted it to be anyone else but you, Quil."  
><em>

_I could feel his resolve breaking and I knew I'd won when he smiled. "I love you, my Claire."  
><em>

_I crawled off his lap and strapped myself back into my seatbelt. I watched and waited while he went to procure protection from Dr. Clearwater. It was Christmas and the house was aglow with all kinds of activity. I felt bad for taking Seth away from it, but I knew that there was no way Quil would be driving to Forks to go to the drugstore and we all knew that Seth would have condoms, being the doctor that he was.  
><em>

_I tried to be patient but sitting by myself in Quil's Jeep made me feel even more antsy. I thought about calling Ava but I knew she was inside enjoying the evening with her family. Which brought me to the giant lie I had told my parents to get them to let me out of the house on Christmas Eve. Right now, they thought we were at Quil's Mom's house exchanging presents. I felt bad lying to them but saying, "Hey Mom and Dad, mind if I go have sex with my super hot older boyfriend on Christmas Eve?" didn't quite sound like the right words.  
><em>

_Just as I started mulling over other things we could tell them in the future to get me out of the house, Quil jogged towards the car, shoving something into his pocket. I watched him closely. Being in high school, I was used to several of my friends always talking about how much they "loved" their boyfriends, but I knew that was child's play compared to what Quil and I had. I don't even think love was a strong enough word to describe it. I knew that in my whole life, for as long as I lived, there would never be anyone I loved like Quil and there would never be anyone who could love me like Quil.  
><em>

_He pulled the door open and smiled at me. Poor Quil was a man stuck in a teenager's body and he never really showed it until that moment. I couldn't help but think he looked like a guy taking a girl to prom and knowing he was getting lucky in the limo afterwards. That wasn't how it was going to be, but that's the thought that popped into my head.  
><em>

_"Did you get them?" I asked.  
><em>

_"Yeah, Seth wasn't very happy to give them to me though. He kept saying things about you being in high school. You would think as a fellow imprinted wolf he'd help a brother out," Quil sighed, starting the Jeep. "It's very hypocritical of him too, considering we all know that Seth took Abby's virginity."  
><em>

_"You know Seth, Quil. He always tries to stay on the straight and narrow," I answered.  
>Quil turned to me and took my hand. "Listen to me," he swallowed hard. "We don't have to do this. I can wait, Claire, I don't want—"<br>_

_I stopped him as I leaned across the console again and kissed him hard before I pulled away. "I want this, Quil. I want you, forever and always."_

_He still looked at me like he was expecting me to jump out and say "April Fool!" I didn't though, I wouldn't. I knew that this was what I wanted. I had a habit of making spontaneous decisions but this wasn't one of them. I had thought this out, I knew the consequences, and I knew that while others might think I was a mindless spoilt girl, when it came to Quil, there was nothing mindless or foolish there._

_"I want you too," he said softly, almost so soft that I didn't hear him. "Okay, let's go home, shall we?"_

_I smiled and did a little jig in my head. I loved when he called his house home. It made me feel like I was a part of his bigger picture. "Sounds like a great idea."_

_We sat in relative silence as he drove and that scared me a little. If he was silent, I could pretty well guarantee that he was going to come up with some reason why we had to wait. To my surprise though, he didn't say anything. Even as he came around and opened my Jeep door, he was still quiet. He started to shut the door after I was out and I stopped him. I reached in and grabbed my bag, complete with the sexiest undies I had and nothing else. "Why do you have a bag? You have stuff here," he asked. It was true, I did have some stuff, like extra socks and a toothbrush but I was pretty sure I didn't have any lacy boy short panties or red bras. _

_"I have different stuff," I said. I hoped he'd catch my drift and by the blush in his cheeks, he did. He took my hand and held it tightly, moving towards the door to the house in the garage. I heard him click the clicker as he led me into the house.  
><em>

_"Do you want water or anything to drink?" he asked, awkwardly.  
><em>

_"No, I'm okay. Let's just go down the hall?" I asked. My questions were much better than his._

_I headed in the direction of the bedroom right away, pulling Quil behind me. He cleared his throat as I opened his bedroom door. The room was dark except for the faint glow of the moon coming through the window. I reached over and flipped the light on, taking a look around. I'd been in Quil's bedroom before, I'd been almost naked in it too, but this was different. I had to remind myself not lose my nerve. _

_I dropped Quil's hand but kept my bag on my shoulder. "I'm going to go to the bathroom," I said._

_"Okay," he answered with a squeak in his voice. I didn't want to tell him that he sounded so cute. _

_I slipped into the bathroom, shut the door behind me, and took two deep breaths. "It's okay, Claire. It's just Quil, it's just Quil," I started to feel a little better but I was still a little anxious. "My Quil," I thought. Just that made everything okay. He was mine, he had always been mine, and I was his. I pulled the red bra and boy short panties out. I stripped down to nothing then slid on the new undies. I pulled the rubberband from my hair and let my hair fall past my shoulders. I knew Quil liked my hair down. I felt my knees wobble a little as I gave myself another glance. I was brave, but I wasn't sure I was brave enough to just waltz out in my barely-theres. I guess it was now or never, though.  
><em>

_"Claire? Honey? Are you okay?" Quil's voice said from the other side of the door.  
><em>

_"Yeah, give me just another second," I said. My fingers grasped the doorknob and I twisted slowly as I took a deep breath. The door creaked a little as I opened it to reveal the faint glow of candles. I peaked my head out to see Quil sitting up on the bed. His back was against the headboard and he was only wearing boxers.  
><em>

_"Um, I hope it's okay I took, you know, that I'm only in my boxers. I can put my clothes back on if you want," he said. My Quil…that was my Quil.  
><em>

_"No, I like it," I smiled. I finally stepped out of the doorway into the bedroom. I heard Quil audibly gasp and then clear his throat again like he did when he was nervous. I knew that about him. I knew that he cleared his throat when he was nervous, I knew that he cried when he watched_

Old Yeller_, and I knew that red was his favorite color, hence the get-up I was in.  
><em>

_"Wow," he said. I had to stop myself from asking him if he was still having doubts about whether this was a good idea. My body decided the next step instead and I practically bounded across the room into his lap and threw my knees on either side of his legs. Just in case that wasn't hot enough, I grabbed his lips with my teeth and then released it to kiss him. _

_The kiss was great but after a few minutes I was ready to move on to the main event. Quil was holding me tightly, resting his hands very timidly on my lower back. I pulled away from the kiss though and then pushed his hands lower to rest just on my buttocks. He was so close to me and I could feel him through the thin fabrics that separated us. I pulled back and moved my hand to his cheeks. "Quil? What's wrong?" I asked.  
><em>

_He looked in my eyes and nudged some hair behind my ear. "I'm nervous," he chuckled. "It's been a long time and the last time, it wasn't with my soulmate. It wasn't with you."  
><em>

_Quil always knew how to make me putty in his hands, but it was even worse when I knew without a doubt that he meant it. "I'm nervous too, Quil," this time I ran my fingers into his hair and then leaned forward to kiss his neck. "But I know that I'm safe with you. I know that I love you so much, and that you love me. We were made for each other," I kissed his neck again, this time lower and closer to his chest. "We fit together like pieces of a puzzle."  
><em>

_He took a shaky breath before he pulled me to him again. "I love you," he whispered into my hair.  
><em>

_"I love you too, my Quil," I said softly. My head was resting against his chest and we breathed together for a few moments until I felt his fingers inching up my back to my bra. I had to keep from whimpering when I felt him unhook it, then push down the straps. He held me to his chest and rolled so that I was on the other side of the bed, below him._

_His lips met my neck this time and he kissed all the way down until he met my shoulder. He didn't stop there though and kept kissing down my chest until his lips hovered over my heart. I knew it had to be beating a million miles a minute and I knew he had to hear that. But I was going to ignore it for the time being and savor the sensation that was starting to tingle between my legs. Quil kissed lower and lower down my chest and stomach, sweeping his finger over the middle of my bra. It was a stealthy move because he'd managed to get my bra off without me really noticing. I was too concentrated on his lips, that were now somewhere between my belly button and the little bit of lace that covered up Elvis, the name I called my special place after my grandmother told me no one was allowed to touch Elvis and if they did, I needed to tell and run away. Unfortunately she was talking about a Bradford Exchange plate she'd ordered from QVC, while I thought she was talking about private parts._

_Quil locked his arms under my legs, pushing them apart a little more. "Say it again," he said against my skin.  
><em>

_"Hmm?" I moaned just as I felt his fingers hook under the lace.  
><em>

_"Who am I?" he looked up at me with hungry eyes and I swear I think I had an orgasm just staring at him.  
><em>

_I caught his drift. "My Quil," I said.  
><em>

_"Again," he said again.  
><em>

_"My Quil," I bit my lip and heard a ripping noise. Quil worked his way back up my body with a handful of red lace that he threw on the floor. "Those were new!"  
><em>

_"They were in the way," he grinned.  
><em>

_Quil started to kiss me again before I stopped him. "Nuh-uh. You have clothes on," I whispered. I didn't wait for him to respond and instead pulled his boxers to his ankles and feeling his special friend standing at attention. _

_He kicked the boxers to the bottom of the bed and they slid off. Quil pulled me up for a second and pulled the blankets down, then laid me back on the sheets. He reached over and grabbed something from his bedside table. He pulled it out and then I watched as he unwrapped the condom carefully and then start to rock back on his heels. I threw my arms around him to keep him close to me. "I have to sit back, babe," Quil whispered and kiss my hair. "I can't put the condom on." His voice was gentle and I let my grasp on him slip.  
><em>

_It may have been totally not sexy to some people, but I watched in fascination as Quil slid the condom over himself. It only took him a second to unroll it and I automatically felt my legs spread a little. "It's okay," he said softly as he leaned back down.  
><em>

_"I know, I'm with you," I said. I knew it was as cheesy as possible but it did literally make me feel better. _

_"Okay," he smiled wide. Quil nestled himself between my legs but didn't dare push himself into me just yet. I knew it was coming though. He linked his arms under mine and looked into my eyes, really deep. "You're absolutely sure about this?"_

_I had to keep from rolling my eyes or yelling at him. I was laying under him naked, I was pretty damn sure! "Yes, Quil, very sure," I said instead.  
><em>

_He moved his arms again and this time pulled my knees up a little, then leaned down to kiss me. It started out like a normal kiss, like a gentle, sweet kiss. But it didn't take long for it turn into a soap-opera, batten-down-the-hatches, tingling-from-my-crotch-to-my-head-area type of kiss. Then, Quil was pressing close to the part of me that was about to explode. He broke the kiss again and looked at me. "Keep looking at me, Claire," he said. His voice sounded like butter and he slowly pushed himself into me. It hurt like hell and I grabbed onto Quil, digging my nails into his back. "Do you want me to stop?" He asked._

_I was trying to judge how much further he would have to go before he would be all the way in, and even then I knew the pain wouldn't stop. This was what I wanted though. I wanted to this, with Quil, and that meant dealing with the pain from his larger than normal male anatomy, I would do it.  
><em>

_"NO!" I yelped. "I want you, Quil."  
><em>

_"I don't want to hurt you," he kissed my forehead and the gentleness was back. "You know it hurts me to hurt you."  
><em>

_"I know," I pried my nails from his back and instead laced my fingers in his hair and tried to push the pain aside so I could kiss him. "Please don't stop though, Quil."  
><em>

_He nodded and kissed me back. Then in one swift motion, he pulled my knees up and pushed himself all the way into me. I clearly felt something tear but I heard Quil moan pretty loudly into my ear and I made a quick decision. I would just try to make it through this and maybe next time it would feel good, right?  
><em>

_Quil pulled out a little and then pushed back in, out and in, out and in. It didn't exactly feel good but I just kept my mind on Quil. The sound of his breath speeding up, the feeling of my fingers in his hair as it started to moisten with sweat. I kissed his shoulder. And closed my eyes. I thought about how much I loved him and how special it was to be this close to him. But then, he did something he'd done before, usually when we were making out but when he did it this time, it set something off inside me. His lips met my neck, just below my ear, and his tongue swirled in a circle. That in and of itself was erotic but the thing that did it for me was the suction his lips created.  
><em>

_"Oh, God!" I moaned at the sensation and arched my back into him. I could feel him smile on my skin but he didn't stop. "Quil…"  
><em>

_"Claire," he groaned. He kept sucking and pushing and pulling out and pushing back in and thenI felt my breathing change too. The pain was still there but that didn't stop the pleasure from coming through. "My Claire," he groaned out. Then I felt his teeth scrape against my skin and ever so slightly bite down.  
><em>

_"My Quil," I moaned, locking my ankles to keep him close to me, which only caused the tingling between my legs to rise up to my stomach. It was a heavy feeling but I felt my body twitch a little. And just when I thought I was going to explode, Quil bit down harder and the feeling in my stomach filled my whole body. I think my eyes rolled back in my head and I was panting like a dog in heat while Quil kept biting and rocking against me. And then, then the fireworks went off when my body literally vibrated as I felt myself release. "My QUIL!"  
><em>

_Just as I felt my body coming down from its high, Quil's movements got more erratic and as if I wasn't enjoying it enough, his biting to my neck, turned into licking, oddly primal and oddly freaking hot! "Shit! Oh, Quil," I moaned.  
><em>

_"My bear," he said as he kept licking and started shuddering. "I love you," he moaned against my skin and I knew he'd found his own release.  
><em>

_"I love you, too," I whispered. Quil's body was placid on top of me and we locked eyes. "I love you." I arched up and kissed his lips. "Thank you." _

_I could see though that he wasn't okay. Something was wrong. He didn't say anything and he looked away. He slid out of me and rolled to the other side of the bed leaving me more than a little confused. Quil turned on his side, away from me even further. I heard him take off the condom and throw it in the trashcan._

_"Quil?" I put my hand on his shoulder.  
><em>

_He shrugged it off. "You're bleeding," he said softly. "I hurt you. Dammit, Claire, I hurt you."_

_I sat up on my side __of the bed, even though it hurt like a son-of-a-bitch. "What?"_

_"I promised, from the first day that I imprinted on you that I would never hurt you. I would never let anyone else hurt you. But goddammit, I'm an animal and I couldn't control myself," Quil sat up, still with his back to me and leaned down to put his head in his hands._

_"Please don't say that, Quil," I said, scooting closer to him so I could move to my knees and put my arms around him from behind. I kissed his shoulder and then his neck. "I wanted to share this with you. It was worth the pain."  
><em>

_"I just…" he turned around and pulled me into his arms so that I was sitting on his lap. The warmth was comforting and kinda dulled the pain I was feeling. I laid my head on his chest and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Are you happy, Claire?"  
><em>

_I didn't even have to think, I knew exactly what to say. "Yes! Are you not happy, Quil?" I started to worry that maybe I'd misjudged this whole situation and made him do something he didn't want to, though getting me naked seemed pretty evident that he wanted it as much as I did.  
><em>

_"I've never been this happy. I just don't want you to ever think I rushed you into things," he said holding me tightly. "I love you so much, Claire, and I've waited so long for you. I won't screw this up."  
><em>

_I looked up into his big brown eyes and laid my hand on his cheek. What Quil didn't know was that I was just as scared of screwing this up as he was. The difference was, I hid my fear with spontaneity and rash decisions. But at the root of it all, I needed Quil and I didn't ever want to leave him feeling less special than he was. "You won't, Quil. You're forgetting, we're made for each other, we belong together. So you won't ever screw this up," I said._

That's what I thought of as I stood in front of the mirror and looked at myself in the fresh white lace. We had been made for one another, we belonged together. I kept repeating that phrase in my head. I repeated it as I stepped out of the bathroom.

I don't know if it was a wolf thing or not, but Quil had a habit of already being naked when I would come out with the intent of getting it on. And of course tonight was no different. He had his back against the wooden headboard, already under the covers. "Sweet Jesus, Claire," he choked out.

"I take it you like?" I twirled around a little and bit my bottom lip trying to act like I had some sense of innocence.

"Fuck, that's an understatement," he gulped. Before I could gauge what he was going to do, he pushed the blankets off, had me in his arms, and then sprinted back to the bed. My beautiful lingerie was in pieces on the floor in a matter of minutes. I was a little sad to see it go, but being able to make love to my husband was worth it.

And just like every time, when we were both sated, he held me in his arms. "Are you happy?" I asked.  
>"You have no idea how blissfully happy I am right now, Claire," he said as he kissed my hair and ran his hand over my bare shoulder. "Are you happy?"<p>

"I'm so much more than happy," I smiled as he cuddled me closer.

As excited as I was to be at Disney World, being in Quil's arms as his wife, that my friend was the happiest place on Earth.

**Thank you for reading! Please review! Please, please review! **


	3. The Honeymoon's Over

**AN: Still doesn't belong to me but there are things in this chapter that may belong to Nina or me.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns most of it. The rest belongs to Ninadoll and me!**

**Thank you so much to Ninadoll for being such an amazing beta, friend, and supporter! She is awesome and a very talented writer! If you haven't yet, please check out her stories,**_**Rest of Forever**_**,**_**How Wonderful Life Is, Now You're in the World,**_**and**_**How the Mighty Fall.**_**You will love them! Trust me! She helped me through multiple drafts of this chapter and was extremely patient with me while we worked to get it right!**

**Thank you as well to my friend Shojioxlow! Arnold Palmers all around!**

**My apologies for the tardiness of this chapter! ****Please check out my blog at **liljenrocksfanfiction{dot}blogspot{dot}com/** and webs for pictures! ****You will get to see pictures of Claire's family! ****Please comment and let me know what you think! **

_**LOVE YOU MADLY**_

**CHAPTER TWO: ****THE HONEYMOON'S OVER**

"_**Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards."**__** ~ Benjamin Franklin**_

**Claire's POV**

You know, the bad thing about honeymoons is that they come to an end. It had been a week and a half of pure bliss. Quil and I had spent the time alternating between visiting Disneyworld and having hot marital sex. It was the best of everything. Tonight, though, we were boarding a plane and heading back to our little corner of the world. Part of me was excited because I was returning as the wife of Quil Ateara, instead of just the little girl who had spent the majority of her life following a giant wolf around. We were what we were meant to be now.

"Did you pack my toothbrush?" Quil asked. He had just come out of the bathroom, fresh out of the shower, with a low hanging towel around his waist and water dripping down his chest. _Dear God_!

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked, realizing that he did in fact ask me a question.

Quil's lips turned up in a smirk. "You checking me out, wifey?"

"Maybe," I said, faking shyness. If there was one thing he knew about me, I wasn't shy, especially when it came to him. That was evident from the very first time we met, when I was nothing but a precocious two-year old.

_It was raining that day…again. Like always. I remember wondering if princesses ever had to go out in the rain. I always wondered weird, random things like that. I was excited though. Today we were on our way to Aunt Emily's while my Mom went to the doctor. She told me she had a baby in her stomach, which didn't make sense to me. First off, I was the baby. She told me so every night when she put me to bed and tucked me in and said, "Good night, my baby." So clearly that didn't make sense. Another thing was that I didn't understand why the baby was in her stomach. Was it because she ate something? If so, I wanted to know what it was because I wanted to make sure I didn't eat it. Thirdly, Mommy told me that I was going to have a new brother or sister. I didn't want a new brother or sister. I already had Calista. If I was a princess, than she was the wicked stepsister for sure. _

_Calista already knew how to read and how to count and she always rubbed that in my face. "When you get smart like me, you'll be able to see that that sign says that's the boys' bathroom," she said to me one time. How did she know I didn't want to go in the boys' bathroom? "When you get smart like me and know all your numbers, you'll know that I have more cookies than you." She was so mean sometimes. _

_The one person who always made me feel special was my Daddy. Daddy would go to work during the day and then when he came home, he'd take off his boots and sit in the recliner while I grabbed a book and crawled onto his lap. Calista had to help Mom set the table and cook dinner. I was too little to do that so I got to spend the time with Daddy. "Whatcha got there, Claire?" I would hand him one of the books on the coffee table and lay my head on his chest. "The 1999 Jeep Grand Cherokee has a 195-horsepower, 4.0-liter, and inline six cylinder as the base engine. This year, the V-8 is available with 2-wheel drive, as well as 4-wheel drive. That's what we have, Claire, a 4-wheel drive." Then he'd keep reading to me from the book I'd picked up on the table. "You know, I can't figure out why you like for me to read the car manual to you. Damn car's falling apart so I guess it's a good thing, huh?" He kissed my cheek and kept reading until Calista skipped in to call us to dinner. I was sad I wasn't going to hear Daddy read to me tonight. _

"_What time are you going to pick us up?" Calista asked. She was only five, I don't know why she thought she was so cool._

"_In the morning, Aunt Emily is going to bring you girls back to Makah so Daddy and I can have a date night," Mommy said. I looked at her as she looked at me in the mirror, twirling my binky in my mouth. "We're going to have to get you to give up that binky before the baby comes." I put my hand over my binky._

"_Mine!" I squealed with big eyes. _

"_Why does she have to be so loud?" Calista asked, turning to give me a mean look and stick her tongue out at me._

"_Girls, please don't start," Mom let out a long breath and put one of her hands on her belly. Maybe there was a baby in there. It looked all big and round. Maybe she swallowed a watermelon seed and now there was a watermelon growing in her! "Calista, I need you to be helpful with Claire, okay? Help Aunt Emily."_

_Calista nodded and then tapped her feet on the seat in front of her. "What happened to Aunt Emmy's face?"_

_For once, Calista asked a good question. Once upon a time, Calista said that Aunt Emily was the most beautiful person in the world. Then, we had to go see her in the hospital and she had all these bandages on her face. Calista said that she wasn't as a pretty but I disagree. I think she looks prettier now. She looks like a princess that fought a dragon on her own, and she might have some scrapes and scars, she still won, no prince needed. I did so love princes though…_

"_Aunt Emily just had a little accident. She's all better now," Mom said._

_Calista let out a huff and I knew she was going to try to make herself sound smarter. "No she isn't. She's got those lines on her face. I bet—" _

"_I don't want you talking about that anymore," Mom said firmly. I giggled in the backseat as Calista's face turned bright red. "You know it hurts Aunt Emmy's feelings when you talk about her face."_

_I spit my binky out. "She pwetty," I said, then stuck my binky back in my mouth._

"_That's right, my baby. She's pretty, isn't she?" Mom asked, smiling at me and not Calista in the backseat. _

_I knew Mommy was tired and didn't want Calista and me to argue, so I kept my binky in my mouth and looked at the pretty pictures in the book I had. It was also one of my favorites too with lots of pictures of cars. _

"_Momma, why is Claire reading Daddy's magazine with cars you can buy in it?" Calista asked, putting her nose in the air. She had a big nose. I did not. _

"_You and Claire like different things, Cali. Just like me and Aunt Emmy like different things. Sisters don't always like the same thing," Mommy said. _

"_Why did Aunt Emmy move so far away?" Calista asked too many questions. _

_I took my binky out again. "For Unca Sam," I said, putting it back in. _

_Mommy nodded as she looked at me again in the mirror. Aunt Emmy used to live just down the road from us. We got to see her almost everyday. Then one time she went to visit our cousins and then a few months later, she moved away. I missed seeing her everyday. But she called a lot. And I liked going to visit her and Uncle Sam. I knew that Aunt Emmy had to love him a whole awful lot to move so far away from us. _

_It seemed like the drive would never end. We passed so many trees and so many signs and it seemed like we were never going to get to Aunt Emmy's. I thought about maybe taking a nap but then I might miss something special. So I didn't. I held tight to my stuffed rabbit named Trix and sucked on my binky while Calista talked. _

_I took the last sip from my sippy cup as we travelled down the driveway to the cabin where Aunt Emmy and Uncle Sam lived. There were a few boys standing around the yard, pushing each other around and laughing. They had no shirts on and it was a little cold outside._

"_Hello Mrs. Munholland," one of the boys said._

"_Um, hello?" Mom said. She had started helping me get out of my car seat but when this person started talking to her, she let me go and put her hand on her hips. _

"_Emily said to be on the lookout for you," the boy said with a serious face._

"_Oh, okay, thanks. You can call me Meredith though" Mommy said. "Could you help me carry in the girls' bags? I'm not supposed to lift anything too heavy, being in my condition." She patted her stomach where the baby was supposedly growing. "What can I call you?"_

"_Yeah, Embry," the boy said. To my surprise he and another big boy came to the back of the Jeep and took my pink bag and Calista's purple bag out of the car. "This is my friend Jake." He pointed to the tall boy next to him. _

"_Thank you, boys," Mommy said. _

"_You're welcome, Mrs. Munholland," the Embry guy said._

"_Oh, please. Call me Meredith," Mommy smiled and followed the boys into the house. _

_There were other boys in the house with no shirts on. Some of them were sitting on the couch, watching TV. A few were playing cards in the corner. But they were all talking and it was kinda nice. It felt homey and I didn't feel so bad that I wasn't going to be home tonight. Maybe, if I asked and made my eyes get really teary like I do sometimes when I really want something but all the adults say no, I might get one of them to read me a story before I go to bed._

"_Son-of-a-bitch! You cheated, you bastard!" One of the boys playing cards yelled and pounded his fist really hard on the table._

_I pulled my binky out of my mouth. "Ummm! You say bad word!" I pointed at the boy standing up. His face looked all scrunchy but he kinda smiled at me. I liked it better when he smiled._

"_See, Paul, even a two-year old has better manners than you," Uncle Sam said, coming out of the kitchen._

"_Unca Sam!" I squealed and ran as fast as I could into his waiting arms. He picked me up and spun me around. _

"_Look!" He said as he hugged me. "Em's in the kitchen on the phone with Embry's mom. She'll be right out. How are you feeling, Meredith?" He asked Mommy. This was why I loved Uncle Sam so much. He was always so warm and welcoming. I knew he loved Aunt Emily but I think he might love me and Calista too. He sat me back steadily on my feet._

"_I'm feeling much better. Are you taking care of my sister?" Mommy asked._

_Uncle Sam smiled. "Yes, ma'am."_

"_Where are my precious nieces?" Aunt Emily walked from the kitchen._

"_Aunt Emmy! Look! I lost a tooth!" Calista bragged. She was just bragging about it because the tooth fairy came and left her money under her pillow. I didn't understand what all the fuss was about money anyway. It's not like you could do anything with it. It wasn't like candy, you couldn't eat it. It wasn't like toys, you couldn't play with it. It just sat there. But this tooth fairy sounded pretty cool and I wondered if I might be able to be a tooth fairy when I grow up._

"_Let me see," Aunt Emily tilted Calista's head to look in her mouth. I could tell this was going to be a boring day for me. "Aww, look at that! You're growing up so fast!" Aunt Emily hugged my sister and then finally noticed me, standing with my stuffed rabbit in one of my hands and my binky in the other. Not to mention, I was trying to balance the blanket I was wearing as my princess/super hero cape around my neck. "And how's Princess Claire today?"_

"_Oquay," I smiled big. I loved Aunt Emily. Actually, I think I might love Uncle Sam more. He was so handsome, like a prince from a movie, and I didn't tell Aunt Emily but I really wanted to find a prince just like him. _

"_Claire has to take a nap today," Calista said._

"_I no wanna!" I yelled as loud as I could._

"_Now calm down, girls," Aunt Emily scooped me up in her arms._

"_The boys took their bags upstairs," Mommy said, giving Aunt Emmy a sideways hug. _

_Aunt Emily nodded then turned to look over her left shoulder. I could see her scars more this way. I had to stop myself from tracing them with my fingers. I knew that would probably be rud. "That's good. I was talking to Embry's Mom, Cherise Call."_

"_Call? Cherise Call? She's from Makah, right? I remember her vaguely. She started hanging around an older guy and then she got pregnant and…oh…oh…" Mommy put her hand over her mouth and looked at the Embry boy that had carried our bags in for us. _

_It got very quiet and felt funny in the room. Mommy didn't stay long after that. She kissed us goodbye and told us to be good girls. She made arrangements with Aunt Emmy to take us home the next day and then got in the Jeep to drive away._

_Aunt Emmy carried me with her to the kitchen. She sat me on the counter while Calista followed close behind us. She wasn't as special as me. She had to walk, while I was carried, like a true princess should be. "What do you say, girls? I was going to make a cake for later, do you want to help me?"_

"_Yay!" Calista and I both said._

_Really, when it came down to it, my only job in helping was to make sure they did what they were supposed to do. I tried to crack an egg, but the shell got all in the batter. Calista thought that was funny. It wasn't though because I really was trying my hardest._

"_That's okay, Claire-bear," Aunt Emily said. She gave me a kiss on the nose. I don't know why, but all this baking made me very tired. I think Aunt Emily must've noticed that too because she picked me up again and carried me into another room. She laid me on the bed, then pulled a blanket up to my chin, making sure my binky was in my mouth and Trix was in my arms. "I love you, Claire," she whispered and then kissed my nose again._

"_Wuv ooh," I mumbled before I closed my eyes and drifted into dreamland._

_I don't know how long I slept. I know that it was a little dark in the room. I always felt funny when I woke up from naps. My head was a little spinny and it always took me a minute to remember where I was. This time, when I woke up, it was especially confusing. I knew I wasn't at home and I turned to see the picture of a giant wolf on the wall. That meant I was at Aunt Emily's, I remembered that. The bedroom door was cracked a little and I could hear voices talking. Uncle Sam was home, I could hear his loud, full laugh. I scooted my bottom to the edge of the bed and let my feet dangle until I got the courage to jump. I carried my rabbit with me as I toddled to the door, opening it. It was very loud now out in the other room._

"_Boys, Claire's sleeping so you have to keep it down," I heard Aunt Emily say. "No more cake for you, Jared!" Oh how I loved cake! It was my favorite food! Nothing was better than cake! I hoped there was still enough for me. "There won't be enough for Quil and Embry." _

_I wobbled as quickly as my unsteady feet would take me, if there wasn't enough for whoever those people were, would there be enough for me? Just as that thought popped into my head, my feet found the edge of the rug in Aunt Emily and Uncle Sam's den. I didn't even have time to try to catch myself as I tumbled head-first forward. Just as I was about to smack my head on the corner of the coffee table, which would hurt, I knew because I'd done it at home a bazillion times, a large arm steadied me._

"_Careful there," a booming voice said._

"_Dude, nice save," another voice said back._

_Someone had saved me from hitting my head! My hero! I squirmed in the arms of my protector. I needed to give him a kiss to show my appreciation. That's what real princesses did, right? I turned to face the brave soul that had fought dragons, or a fierce rug to save me. Something happened though. It was the strangest feeling, like that time I spun around and around to see how long it took before I fell down. My head was all swimmy. My hero had wide brown eyes that stared into mine. I felt safe, more safe than I'd ever felt. I felt all gooey inside, like when I think about meeting a Prince. And I felt…brave._

"_Oh shit," a voice said. I knew that was a bad word and anyone saying that word was going to be in big trouble! "Sam!" the bad word person yelled. "Sam! Get in here!"_

"_My Pwince!" I yelped and threw my arms around my prince's neck. I was pretty sure this guy was the most coolest person ever. He was so warm and he smelt like my most favorite thing on earth: S'mores. _

_I heard Uncle Sam come around the corner into the living room. "What?" Uncle Sam said. "Quil?" Uncle Sam's voice was soft and I finally took my eyes from the super hero to look at him. "Hey, Claire. Can you go with Aunt Em?"_

"_No," I said. I didn't want to leave the Quil person who was holding me._

"_Sweetheart, it's just for a little bit. I'm going to talk to Quil outside for a minute," Uncle Sam said to me. I didn't want to though. I knew I was supposed to listen to grownups but he wanted to take my prince away from me and I wasn't finished with him. _

"_No!" I yelled this time and tightened my arms around the neck I was holding._

"_Just give me a second," the Quil said. I wasn't sure who he was talking to but I knew I wasn't letting go. "Claire? Can you sit on the couch and watch TV for a second while I talk to Sam?" I didn't want to let go but I knew my prince wouldn't let anything bad happen to me._

"_You sit wif me?" I asked, pulling back so I could look at him._

_He smiled at me and looked like a funny teddy bear I saw on a cartoon. "I'll be right back and I promise I'll sit with you, okay?" _

_I nodded and let go of Quil as he set me down on the ground. Right away, Uncle Sam and three other big guys ran towards Quil and carried him out the door. It was loud and scary. "Aunt Emmy!" I yelled as I felt my bottom lip start to shake like it did when I knew I was going to cry. The bad guys were going to hurt Quil and I didn't like that one bit._

"_It's okay, Claire-bear," Aunt Emmy swept in from somewhere and picked me up. "Uncle Sam's just talking to Quil, they'll be right back." She held me in her arms and rocked me while I cried. I needed her to do that because I wasn't sure what was going on. I felt so lost and I knew it was because Quil wasn't here. But it just didn't make sense. I could feel Aunt Emmy start to shake a little too and when I looked at her, she was crying too. "It's going to be okay, Claire-bear." _

The funny thing was, it was okay. Sixteen years ago, I became his center and now, here we are, him asking me if I've packed his toothbrush. I was pretty sure life would never be better than it was right now. I kept that thought as we took the limo to the airport and I boarded a plane with my hand in my husband's.

"Are you sad to leave?" I asked Quil while we waited for the plane to taxi out to the runway.

He shrugged. "I'm sad that we have to go back to the real world, but I'm not sad that we're going home. We're going to be together for a very long time, Claire. Doesn't matter if we're here or home in Forks." I liked the sound of that.

I laid my head on Quil's shoulder and felt my eyes get heavy. Things were uneventful until my husband woke me up to switch planes in Salt Lake City. We didn't have much of a layover at all and before we knew it, we were headed for the Seattle/Tacoma Airport.

"Hey newlyweds!" my Mom waved and jumped as we walked into the baggage claim area.

I smiled, seeing my parents. "Mom!" I yelped and ran towards her. I couldn't help but tackle her in a hug. I had missed my Mom and Dad, and even though I had lived in Seattle for a few months and would only be down the road in Forks, I realized that I would never call their house home again. Part of me was a little sad by that.

"Whoa, Mrs. Ateara," she said. I knew I had probably knocked the breath out of her but she rubbed my back as she hugged me tightly to her. "How was Disneyworld?"

"It was great," Quil smirked beside me. "How are you, Kane?" Quil shook Dad's hand.

Dad normally had a smile on his face but today, he looked serious as he took Quil's hand to shake it. "I'm okay. How was the flight?" Dad looked at me with a hint of sorrow in his bright blue eyes.

I loosed my grip on my Mom and wrapped my arms around my Dad. He put his chin on my head and I heard him sigh. "It was good, Dad. We had a great time but I'm glad to be home," I said.

I learned a long time ago that when your parents hug you, you don't let go until _they_ let go. Sometimes they need that hug more than you do. That was the case here, I knew that Dad was being hit with the same thoughts that I was. The wedding may have changed my name, but now, back from my honeymoon, I was a married woman who wouldn't be there to greet him when he got home from work or to talk to him about school or my job. I wasn't going to get to eat Mom's French toast in the morning or have her braid my hair on days when it just wouldn't do what I wanted it to. I was truly no longer their little girl. And I knew that Dad felt that separation as much as I did.

"Well, let's get your bags and head home. Shall we?" Mom said. We all dutifully followed.

On the drive back to Forks, I listened to my husband and my father talk shop, Dad filling Quil in on all the orders that had come in while we were gone. Hearing Quil talk business was also a bit of a turn on for me and I bit my cheeks before he could catch how much I wanted to devour his mouth as they talked.

"Jake just sent over five bikes for Cash Claremore," Dad said.

"The actor?" I asked, feeling intrigued.

"Yeah, apparently he just wrapped a huge movie and he's giving them as gifts to his entourage," he answered. Dad could do almost any job that Quil could but the truth was, my husband was the artist and he was the only one that touched the Shipo orders, especially with the intricate artwork that went on it.

"What about our boy?" Quil asked with a grin.

"I picked him up from Abby's this afternoon," Mom chuckled. "He'll be waiting at the house for you."

I knew exactly who Quil meant when he said, "our boy," and while part of me was excited about the prospect of having a family with Quil, I knew I was nowhere near ready for that. I had a hard time making sure I was dressed and bathed and fed every morning, no way was I ready to throw a kid in the mix too. That's probably why I made sure I took my birth control pills every single night, and I made sure nothing would interact with them that would cause them to fail. I'd seen several of the wolf girls fall prey to that situation. Nope, for right now, it would just be me and Quil, Quil and me, we were enough.

Someone forgot to tell that to "our boy" though. Mom and Dad took a few things in the house while Quil and I gathered our luggage. Quil's "boy" ran out the front door. Quil caught sight of him and put our bags down to brace for impact. "Aw! There's my boy! Come give Daddy kisses, Eros!" Quil cooed to the giant German Shepherd that was currently standing on his hind legs. He licked Quil's face as Quil talked to him like a human being. I rolled my eyes. "You gonna give Momma kisses too, Eros?"

"No, he's not. Not if he knows what's good for him," I narrowed my eyes like a challenge to the canine. He didn't care though, he ran towards me and jumped up, pushing me to the ground and licking my face. "Gross!" I squealed. It did make me giggle a little. Eros was Quil's dog that I had gotten him, he had his own bed on Quil's bedroom floor, and Quil loved him like a child. Now, this crazy, hyper, huge dog was mine too. I wasn't just a visitor, I was home and I was officially Momma to a 100-pound ball of fur and energy.

"Come on, boy," Quil shooed Eros towards the house. He leaned down and picked me up, bridal style.

"I thought you already carried me over the threshold," I whispered as I nuzzled closer to him and put my face in his neck.

"The hotel's different. We're home now, honey, this is our home. My bride deserves to be carried into her castle," he said confidently. True to form, Quil carried me into the house and down the hall to _our_ bedroom. It felt funny thinking of it as _our_ bedroom. It wasn't like I hadn't slept in it hundreds of times. Hell, I'd lost my virginity in that room, but this was so different. It was mine. It was _ours._ "I'm going to let you get changed while I go get rid of our company and get our bags."

I put on the sexiest, most seductive face I could. "And what would you have me change into, Mr. Ateara?"

He stood with a coy grin on his face before he pointed to a dresser, my dresser. "Why don't you take a look in that top drawer, Mrs. Ateara? I think you'll find something quite interesting." He turned and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him. I couldn't hear what he was saying to my parents, I just knew he was getting them out before they cramped our wedded bliss.

I stalked over to my dresser, opening the top drawer like Quil had instructed. The only item of clothing in the whole dresser was a red silk chemise with lace accents on the breasts and around the back. It was beautiful and delicate and I pulled it out gently. I changed as quickly as I could, just throwing my jeans and sweater in a corner to dress in the nightie I knew Quil had bought for me. I slipped it over my head and climbed on the bed. After sitting for a minute, I decided something was off and pulled the bobby pins out of my hair and shook it a little so the curls would fall a little. I wasn't sure how it looked but I knew that's what they always did in the movies.

"You look…" Quil said, opening the bedroom door to find me sitting on my knees on our bed. "Sextastic!" He made it to me in under a second and the nightie I loved, was torn to shreds in a matter of minutes. After three rounds of homecoming sex, I was happy to fall asleep in my husband's arms, feeling like a wife now more than ever. I wanted that feeling to last forever because I was pretty sure the warmth and comfort was better than any orgasm ever. Quil made me feel like I was the most important thing on the planet. With him, what I wanted, I got, and right now I wanted to bask in our post-coital paradise.

It also happen to be what I wanted the next morning when I woke up. More specifically, I wanted to start the day off as newlyweds were supposed to, the way we had for the last week or so. So imagine my frustration, and surprise when I woke up the next morning to find Quil's side of the bed empty. Better yet, I couldn't fathom where he would've gone that was more important than being in bed with me.

"Quil?" I yelled from the bed. _No response._ "QUIL?" This time I said it a bit more forcefully but still to no avail. I wrapped the bed sheet around myself and decided to do a little exploring. I walked down the hall without finding any sign of Quil. Then I looked out the window to the driveway. His blue and black Jeep wasn't there meaning there was only one other place he could be. I walked with purpose back to the bedroom, _our _bedroom, pulled my cell phone from the bedside table and pressed four on the speed dial.

"Kwoli Custom Paint, this is Calvin," the voice on the other end said.

"What are you doing working there?" I asked, a bit curtly as I pulled the sheet up to cover my naked chest.

"Oh, hey, sis," my younger brother said. It was funny to think that the day Quil imprinted on me, Calvin actually played a big part in that. Had he not have been inside my Mom at the time, I wouldn't have been at Aunt Emmy's and then I wouldn't have tripped over that damn rug, and so on. I wouldn't want him to know his part in my happiness though. "I'm working here for the summer so I can have a little extra money."

I sighed. Calvin was a good kid but Quil and my Dad were hardcore when it came to work, something I knew Calvin was not. I had a feeling Dad suggested hiring him on and Quil agreed, knowing he'd be helping out my family. Damn him. "What do you need extra money for?" I asked.

"Well, I do have a girlfriend now, and I need money to buy gas and take her out on dates and stuff like that. You know, things normal teenagers do." I knew he was throwing the fact that I'd married a 30-something year-old man in my face but I didn't care. I had a mission.

"That's great. Anywho, is my husband there?" I asked, just enjoying saying the word.

"Yeah, hold on," Calvin put the phone on hold while a horrible Jimmy Buffet song played in my ear.

Less than a minute later a panicked Quil picked up. "Is something wrong?" he asked.

"Yeah, I woke up and my husband wasn't in bed next to me," I answered. I lay back on the bed, keeping the sheet up and trying to sound sexy.

Instead of getting a teasing reaction back, I heard Quil snort. "Sweetheart, I'd love to be there right now but I _do_ have to work. We have bills and you heard what your Dad said last night about the order so I have five custom bikes sitting here right now and I don't want Shipo to look bad just because the airbrush guy got married…" He paused for a minute. "Don't you have clients coming in today?"

I sighed. "Yeah, I was thinking of just cancelling though."

"Why? Are you sick?" he asked.

"No, I just don't feel like going in. I wanted to spend the morning making mad, passionate love to my husband but apparently that's out of the picture," I groaned.

"I promise I'll be more than happy to fill that order tonight, but right now, we have to get back to real life." His voice at that moment made me want to throw something. He wasn't talking to me like his wife, he was talking to me like a child, and I didn't like it.

"Yeah, I get it. We're grown-ups, we have bills, blah, blah, blah," I snapped back.

I heard Quil sigh, usually a sign of defeat on his part. "I didn't mean to make it sound like that, Claire, it's just…you know how it is, I would love to spend all day in bed with you but we can't. We have responsibilities and obligations."

I knew that, I knew we had stuff we _had _to do, but I didn't want to do any of that. I wanted to stay in the honeymoon bubble as long as I could. Why didn't he get that? I thought for a minute. "Okay, whatever, but what about dinner? Where are you taking me?"

Quil sighed again. "Actually, I was kind of thinking you might want to cook tonight."

"Why? You always take me out to eat," I whined.

"That was when we were dating, honey. Now that we're married, we're going to be having lots of meals together and it makes more sense for us to cook," he said.

I huffed at that. _It made more sense for me to cook_. "You know I suck at cooking."

"Call Ava or Petra, maybe they can give you some pointers," Quil said sounding distracted. I didn't like this. No, I hated this. I hated that my husband wanted me to call someone else to learn how to cook for him, but more than that, at which point from the time we got freaky last night, to right now, did he decide I was supposed to be so damn responsible.

"Fine," I huffed again.

"I love you, Claire," Quil said sweetly. I wasn't budging though. I was pissed and he knew it. "I'll see you at home after work."

"See you then," I slammed the phone shut and growled. What the hell had I gotten myself into? I was the imprint, he was supposed to do what I wanted and I certainly didn't want to cook dinners and clean house or do any of that shit.

I groaned as I realized what I had to do. I swallowed my pride and looked at the pile of cookbooks I'd gotten as wedding presents. At the time I thought it was cool to have my own cookbooks but now it was like they were staring at me with all the intimidation a cookbook could muster up.

I took a deep breath. "I accept your challenge," I said as I pulled the first cookbook from the stack and put it by my purse to take with me to work.

This marriage thing was going to be way harder than it looked.

**SECOND AN: I hope this was worth the wait! Please review!**


	4. Love Is A Four Letter Word

**Disclaimer: SM owns most of it. The rest belongs to Ninadoll and me!**

**Thank you so much to Ninadoll for being such an amazing beta, friend, and supporter! She is awesome and a very talented writer! If you haven't yet, please check out her stories, _Rest of __Forever_, _How __Wonderful __Life __Is, __Now __You're __in __the __World, __How __the __Mighty __Fall_ and _The __Colors __of __My__Life__._You will love them! Money back guaranteed! She was extremely patient with me while we worked to get it right! And trust me when I say that it was a long process and required a lot of motivation on her part! Thank you, ma'am! HNCH!**

**Thank you as well to my friend Shojioxlow! We have discovered Ryan Gosling's middle name and it is sex! Ryan "Sex" Gosling…Heehee!**

**Thank ****you ****to ****everyone ****who ****is ****sticking ****with ****me! ****I ****need ****the ****encouragement!**** I ****apologize ****for ****the ****delay ****but ****I ****wanted ****to ****finish **_**A **__**Love **__**That **__**Defies **__**All **_**Logic ****before ****working ****on ****this ****one. ****Hopefully, ****no ****guarantees, ****I****'****ll ****be ****able ****to ****get ****things ****written ****a ****little ****faster! ****Please ****check ****out ****my ****blog ****at **liljenrocksfanfiction{dot}blogspot{dot}com/ **and ****webs ****for ****pictures! ****Please ****comment ****and ****let ****me ****know ****what ****you ****think!**

_**LOVE YOU MADLY**_

**CHAPTER THREE: LOVE IS A FOUR LETTER WORD**

"_**I can live without money, but I can't live without love."—Judy Garland**_

**Claire's POV**

I groaned as my stomach churned and I kicked the blanket off. Quil pulled me into his side and laid his chin on my head. I don't think he understood that someone touching me right now was the last thing I wanted. "What's wrong?"

"I feel like I'm going to puke my guts up," I groaned again. I wanted to pull away but there was a certain comfort in Quil's arms right now. The same comfort I'd felt every single day I was with Quil. The way I felt the day he imprinted on me and the way I felt three years ago when we got married. Something that I'd been missing a lot lately.

"Crackers and ginger ale?" he asked. I nodded hoping there was something out there to take away the absolute horror brewing inside my stomach. I tried to remember whose idea this was but it didn't take much. I knew exactly how and exactly why I was in this position.

_I had been trying hard over the last three years to be a good wife. Marriage wasn't the picnic I had envisioned in my mind but I was determined to do everything I could to make things the way they should be. I probably fell short more often than not but I tried, and I should get an A for effort, right?_

_I worked my butt off grooming dogs and pampering cats and all kinds of other animals. And occasionally, after a long day, I'd come home to find dishes done and clothes picked up. At first, I liked it. I thought maybe Quil had come home over lunch and picked up, or maybe somehow he'd found extra money and had hired a housekeeper. Imagine my reaction when I came home early one day to find my mother-in-law in MY laundry room, putting MY husband's clothes in the washing machine. At the time, I smiled and nodded and pretended that it didn't bother me but it did. _

_The family interference didn't stop there. Occasionally, Quil's favorite casseroles would find its way to our refrigerator. Again, any day I didn't have to cook, was a happy day. But it was disturbing to find random things in your house. It's even more disturbing to find when you want so bad to be the perfect wife and you're failing miserably. Most of the time, I didn't say anything. At least not to Quil, I would groan under my breath and occasionally complained to my mother, who then would yell at me to grow up. But then one day his favorite tuna casserole ended up in the fridge, on a day when I was all set on making meat loaf, and I decided to say something to Quil. I should've bitten my tongue and said nothing but I couldn't help it, especially not after I had Petra run through the directions with me, and then shopping for the ingredients and feeling just so very confident that I could actually make a successful dinner for my husband that night. Plus, Quil was enjoying the tuna casserole a little too much and I have to admit I was jealous. Nothing I made every seemed to make him that happy._

"_I've been craving Sis's casserole," Quil answered through a mouthful of food. "She makes the best tuna casserole."_

_I stopped for a second, not really sure if I had heard him right. "I could've made it for you."_

_Quil wiped his mouth with his napkin and smiled. "It's okay. She knows it my favorite and she makes it the best." I watched him as he took a bite of the casserole again and this time made a face that looked very similar to the face I knew he made when he was about come. _

_I took a deep breath, hoping that I didn't unleash a fury of frustration out but I really had no choice. I was tired of being treated like a child, tired of not being enough, tired of everyone else thinking they needed to take care of MY husband and MY house. So instead of saying anything, I threw my fork down, got up from the table, and went to the bathroom where I ran a bath and spent at least an hour sitting the tub with the bathroom door locked._

_I didn't talk to Quil for the rest of the day after that incident. I tried to tell myself that maybe this was just his family's way of helping out. I mean, after all, I had grown up around them and I loved them. But each little stowed away meal or load of laundry was like one more reminder of everything I was failing at. _

_And boy did I fail a lot. Quil had more pink underwear than he did white because I always forgot to get one pesky red sock out of the wash before doing the laundry. Not to mention the number of holes I'd burned in the few dress shirts he owned. Then, when I'd get discouraged, I'd get pissed. I mean, why was I the one that had to do the laundry? Just because I was the woman? The wife automatically has to do those kinds of things? Hell, no! So I rebelled a little. I refused to do laundry, leaving piles of clothes in our room and in the laundry room. After all, they were Quil's clothes, he could wash them. That strategy backfired on me though when I found out that even if Quil's clothes weren't clean, as long as they didn't smell too bad or have too many stains on them, he'd wear them anyway. This was when I discovered that men/boys are pigs and I prayed that any children we might produce would be girls because I wasn't sure I could handle anymore testosterone in my house._

_Speaking of offspring, just after New Year's, Quil had an idea, a good idea at the time, of course. _

_I should've known something big was coming. He spoiled me more than usual that day. He sent a bouquet of anemones to the office and made reservations at Fork and Spoon, the fanciest restaurant in Forks. He'd even gone to Seattle to get my favorite cheesecake from Ava. All of those things should've clued me into something major on the horizon. I mean, we had a household budget, dammit, and I knew for a fact that all of this was probably overkill. Of course, I was too wrapped up in the fanciness of it all that I never questioned it._

_If Quil was going to spoil me like this, then I was going to make sure I looked damned good for him. I wore my favorite winter dress, a grey mid-thigh, long sleeve with my also favorite knee-high high-heeled boots. Then I wore my hair down in curls like I knew Quil liked. I didn't want to brag but I thought I looked pretty hot. _

_Quil came home early from work and changed into his dark grey pinstriped suit. He looked like sex-on-legs and I knew I was in trouble. I flirted with him innocently as we drove to the restaurant, keeping my hand on top of his on the gear shift of the Jeep. It felt like old times, like before we were married and I wasn't in my pajamas before seven each night._

_When we pulled up to the restaurant, the valet took the Jeep while Quil held my hand tight in his. We were seated at a very nice, candlelit table. Quil and I both ordered salmon and both ate like we hadn't seen food in weeks. Quil was smart though and he waited until after the check had been paid to spring the big question on me. _

_He poured a glass of wine and smiled at me. "So, there's something I've been thinking about a lot lately," he held my hand from across the table while he kissed my knuckles. I loved when he did that! It made me feel so special and loved._

"_What's that?" I asked while I took another drink from my glass._

"_Well, I was thinking maybe it was time we start trying to start our family," Quil said while I struggled not to spit the white wine all over him._

_I coughed a little and watched him to make sure this wasn't like some sort of crazy practical joke on his part but he seemed serious as a heart attack. "Um, what was that again?"_

"_Well, I was thinking we should start trying to have a baby. I mean, we've been married three years, we're both doing pretty well in our careers, we're in a good place. I think it would be good for us. I think we're ready. What do you think?" _

_Now,__what__I__should__'__ve__said__was__something__like,_"Are you crazy? I can barely get myself ready in the morning and to work on time! And now you wanna throw in a child? Have you lost your mind?" _But __of __course, __looking __at __my __husband__'__s __sweet __face, __the __way __he __was __so __serious. __And __then __imagining __him __cuddling __a __sweet __little __baby __that __looked __like __him, __my __resolve __broke.__ "__Okay,__" __I __said, __swallowing __hard._

_Quil's mouth turned up in the biggest grin. "Yeah?"_

"_Yeah," I said. "Um, I should probably talk to Kim. Find out what I need to do. I'll call in the morning." It shouldn't have been that easy but I couldn't deny him. How could I deny him with all that love and devotion in his eyes?_

So I did what I promised and I called Kim the next day. I went in that afternoon and had her check me over and then go over some information and techniques I needed to know in order to make sure this happened. I stopped taking the pill and we switched to condoms for a few months and then eventually, there was nothing but us. I didn't know how long it would take or when I would know but there was something about the way Quil would hold me after we made love that made me want it that much more. He wanted this so badly and I knew that after each round, when he would kiss me and then pull me gently into his arms, he was praying that this would be it.

And then it happened…I was late, not by much, just a few days. But I've been told I have the patience of a five-year old and damn did I need to know.

_Ava was in Seattle, Petra had the Cullens visiting, and the only person I could call, was the last person I wanted near me. I did it though, I swallowed my pride again and called my sister, begging her to come as fast as she could, and to bring a pregnancy test. _

"_It's about time! What'd you do? Go to Port Angeles to get it?" I snatched the bag from my older sister's hands._

"_Chill out, Claire, geez. I'm the one doing you the favor here. You could at least act appreciative," Calista acted put out as she followed me into the house. _

_I don't think I really heard the words coming from her mouth. I was a woman on a mission, my mission being of course to pee on a stick and find out if I had a bun in the oven. I had taken a few over the years, when the occasional slip-up occurred but this was serious. For the first time, I think I really, really wanted it to be positive. Quil wanted a baby so bad and I wanted to be a good imprint, I wanted to be able to give him that. _

_I walked into the bathroom and ripped open the box, ignoring the directions that flew out at my face, pulled out the stick, pulled down my pants, and did my business. When I was finished, I sat the test on the counter, sat the alarm on my phone for three minutes, and waited. I could hear the click of Calista's high heeled shoes outside the door and I knew she was pacing but I didn't care. I didn't need her to drain the excitement out of this like she did everything else. I needed this moment to be about me. So she could wait, just like I did, sitting on the edge of the bathtub, waiting. I closed my eyes and waited._

"_Claire! Open the door! What's it say?" Calista barked from the other side of the bathroom door. She really was a bitch. I was going to thank her for bringing me the test but she had worn out her welcome now._

_I glanced at my phone. With thirty seconds left, I decided to say fuck it and checked the test. I picked it up with shaking hands and stared at the bright purple plus sign that stared right back at me. "It's positive," I said softly. I was pregnant, I was going to have a baby. Quil's baby. "It's positive," I said a little louder as I moved my hand to my flat stomach. _

"_What?" Calista twisted the knob to the locked door and for once I didn't care. I opened it for her with a smile._

"_It's positive! I'm pregnant!" I squealed, still holding the stick in my hand._

_Calista rolled her eyes. "You probably read it wrong. Let me see it," she snatched the plastic from my hand and looked at it. Her eyes darkened and I saw something I'd been seeing a lot in Calista's eyes: jealousy. I knew that Calista wanted a family, almost more than Quil did, but Calista made the mistake of marrying a man who would rather spend his evening with a book than in her pants. Instead of rubbing it in her face though, I decided to take the high road._

"_You're going to be an aunt!" I yelped, trying to lighten the mood. _

_For the first time in forever, Calista smiled back at me. "I am! I'm going to be an aunt!" she pulled me into a tight hug and when she pulled away I saw tears in her eyes. "I'm so happy for you, Claire." She seemed to genuinely mean it as she wiped the moisture away. "Quil's going to be so excited!"_

_I smiled then, knowing that he would be absolutely thrilled to know we were going to have a baby. But before I told him for sure, I wanted to make sure everything was okay. I made an appointment with Kim and got in to see her the next day. My blood was drawn, which hurt like hell, but Kim confirmed that my tin roof was in fact rusted. She pressed on my stomach a bit, asked a lot of questions and calculated my due date for December 21st. Then she had me book my next appointment and sent me on my way._

_I couldn't decide when and how to tell Quil so I took a chance and stopped by the garage on my way home. He was in his office, at his computer. His eyes were narrowed and I could tell her was deep in thought. I stood for a minute and watched him move the mouse. He looked incredibly sexy as he pondered something. I knew that he was going to be an awesome dad and I considered myself pretty damn lucky to be carrying his child inside me._

"_Claire-bear, what are you doing here?" Daddy asked from beside me._

_I turned and smiled at him. "Just came to see Quil for a minute. He looks like he's working pretty hard."_

"_Yeah, this is the third draft he's doing on the bike for the children's charity. You know how much of a perfectionist he is and he can't quite get it right," Dad said. He was dressed in his blue coveralls that matched everyone at the shops, including my husband's. "But you know he's always happy to see you."_

_I kissed Dad on the cheek and walked towards Quil's office. Like always, Quil's desk was very organized, just a few pictures of me and him. It was always so amazing how different we were. I think I had a desk at work, I wasn't sure because I hadn't seen it in months and someone else took care of booking my appointments so I didn't own an agenda or appointment book. I usually stuck a pencil in my hair in the event I ever needed something to write with, and yet here my husband's desk was perfect. _

"_Well, are you going to just stand there and look at me, or are you going to come over and give me a kiss?" Quil said with a bit of a smirk._

_I didn't waste a minute and shot into the office, kicking the door closed behind me. "Hi, studmuffin," I said, biting my lip as I crawled into his lap. He didn't hesitate either as he took my lips to his. He pulled back and moved some hair from my forehead._

"_What are you up to?" he asked. _

_I wasn't sure how I was going to say this but I took a deep breath, laid my head on his chest and kissed his chin. "I needed to talk to you about something."_

_He immediately tensed up and I knew he was worried. "Is everything okay? What's wrong?" he asked with panic in his voice._

"_Everything is okay. At least, I think it is," I looked up and could almost see the anxiety erased from his eyes. I snuggled into his arms. He pulled me closer and rested his hand on my thigh. I felt a burst of courage and grabbed his hand. "I just…" I slid his hand up to rest on my stomach. There was no sign of the baby growing inside me but I knew that Quil would figure it out. "Feel."_

"_What?" Quil was clearly confused. "Are you…Are we…"_

_I leaned my head up and kissed his neck. "Congratulations, Daddy," I whispered gently._

"_Really?" he asked. _

_I nodded and smiled. "Really, really." He stared at me with such reverence that I actually felt like I should maybe let him bow down to me and kiss my feet. It was probably the most important I'd ever felt in my life._

Now, here I was, a month later with my head in the toilet, wondering why we thought this was a good idea. By far the worst part of being pregnant was morning sickness, and boy did the mornings make me sick. Come to think of it though, it wasn't just the mornings. It was the afternoons too. And anytime I smelt anything remotely close to seafood. I always ended up bowing to the porcelain god.

Everyone I talked to seemed to think that it would get better once I passed the first trimester. Which might be true but seeing as how my first trimester still had a few weeks left in it, I didn't see an end in sight. Not to mention I could see the total disdain in all of my female family members' faces.

After a good thirty minutes of dry heaving and dizziness, I crawled back into my empty bed and cuddled the pillow. I didn't plan on moving for the rest of the day. But you know what they say about the best laid plans…

"Claire, sweetie, you can't go back to sleep," Quil said as he sat down on the bed next to me.

I groaned. "I don't think you get how sick I feel, Quil."

"I know, but remember what Kim said. It will pass," his voice sounded loving but it felt like criticism to me. This wasn't the first morning I'd felt so sick I couldn't move. And as much as I knew Quil was trying to support me, I could feel his patience wearing thin.

I turned away from him and nudged his hand away. "I guess you know my body better than I do now," I whispered, knowing full well he could hear me.

Quil sighed loudly. I knew that I was probably being mean but there was no way Quil could understand what I was going through. He'd never been nor would he ever be pregnant. "That's not what I meant," he sighed again. "I just don't want you to give up. My Claire is too good at what she does to give up." I felt his lips on my temple but closed my eyes tightly so I wouldn't have to see the frustration in his eyes. I already felt like I was screwing up, I didn't need to see the confirmation in my husband's eyes.

I think I lay there for another ten minutes before I ran to the bathroom again. Then, after fifteen minutes of dry heaves, Quil's words were the last thing on my mind. There was no way I would be any good to anyone today. I picked up my phone and called Nancy, Abby and my receptionist, to tell her I wouldn't be in today. She would call and cancel all my appointments for me, and I could spend the day doing what I knew I needed to do: lying in bed trying to keep from jostling my stomach too much.

I knew it was wrong and I knew I shouldn't have called in but I couldn't help the way I felt or how my body seemed to react to the baby inside me. Did my own child already hate me? I closed my eyes and placed my hands on my stomach. I knew I couldn't feel anything yet but it gave me comfort to know there was a reason all this was going on, that there was a reason I was so sick and that it would all be over before I knew it. And while part of me couldn't wait to hold my baby, another part worried I'd be a horrible mother. I had a great mother, Quil had a great mother, and I was surrounded by the pack moms who were all great mothers. What if I was as a bad a mother as I was a wife? What if things never got better? What if I just couldn't do this?

Sometime during all this inner turmoil, I drifted off to sleep, where my '_what__ifs__'_ invaded my dreams too. When my eyes eventually opened, I noticed the room was dark and the moon's soft light came in through the window. _Shit! __Had __I __really __slept __all __day? __There __goes __all __the __things __I __thought __I__'__d __get __done __today. __Which __means __Quil __won__'__t __have __work __shirts __for __tomorrow__…_

"Come eat, Claire," Quil said, jostling a bit to wake me. "It's dinnertime." I watched him start to walk out of the bedroom. I could hear the anger in his voice. I wasn't quite sure I was awake yet and I knew I wasn't ready to get out of bed. "Come on, Claire," Quil's voice sounded so…distant. I put my feet over the edge of the bed and leaned forward to feel my stomach turn and my head spin. I took a deep breath and grabbed the night stand to steady myself, hoping the dizziness would pass. When it eventually did, I slowly made my way to the bathroom, splashing a little water on my face to wake up more. I took a moment to look at myself in the mirror and instantly wished I hadn't. I didn't look like myself at all, dark circles around my eyes and my once bright complexion now looked washed out.

"Great," I moaned, pulling my hair up in a sloppy bun. Quil was probably going to be disappointed a more attractive woman wasn't sitting across from him at the dinner table but it was the best I could do.

I followed Quil down that hall to find the table set and another damn casserole on the table. _Great,_ I thought. I knew Joan had to think I was a complete waste of space, a horrible wife who couldn't take care of her husband or her house. It made me start to feel even useless, especially coupled with the clearly pissed off tone in my husband's voice. So, as much as I wanted to complain about the casserole, I kept my mouth shut.

I sat down with Quil and start to take a bite when I noticed something on the table that didn't belong.

"What's this doing here?" I asked him, pulling the jar to me.

"Oh that, it caught my eye in the cabinet," he took a bite of the casserole. "But then Joan showed me the box that it came in. I never would have thought that little bottle cost more than my first car," he took another bite and I knew I was in deep shit.

"It's moisturizer and it's the best around. Petra uses it," I stuttered.

"Yeah, well, Petra's kinda married to a millionaire too," Quil kept his eyes down on the plate, not looking at me at all. No eye contact was never a good sign with him.

"But it wasn't that much. I charged it on the card and we can pay it off in like ten months," I was grasping at straws.

Quil huffed and picked up his plate, taking it to the sink, not even halfway finished. "Yeah, and how are we going to do that when you never work? This is the third time this week you stayed home and didn't work. We're not that type of people, Claire. We only make money when we work."

"But I..."

"No, you don't get it. We have a baby coming, everything extra we have, has to go to that. We can't buy thousand dollar face cream when there's a bunch of stuff we need to get."

"But Petra—"

"I'm not Embry, Claire!" He raised his voice a little at me. He never did that and it scared me a little.

More than that, it hurt.

"I never said that, I don't want you to be, but it's not fair. They get to make all this money with Shipo and you work hard too and you—"

"No, I'm not going there again. We've already had that conversation a million times. That dog is dead, no sense dragging it around anymore."

"Quil," I started but I could see he wasn't having it.

"No, Claire. I can't do this, I can't fight you on everything, baby. You have to decide that this is worth it but God knows I'm too tired to try to convince you," then he turned back and headed towards the door.

"You're leaving?" I asked, standing up from the table. I could feel my eyes start to water and my stomach start to churn again, that familiar pukey feeling coming up.

"I need to think," Quil said as he walked out, the door slamming behind him.

"Quil!" I walked towards the door but felt my knees buckle as my head spun again, I wasn't sure if it was because of our fight or because I'd not eaten anything the whole day. I knelt on the kitchen floor and let the tears fall. Why couldn't I do anything right? Why do I make him mad at me all the time? I knew one thing for sure, I didn't know if I would be able to do this for another six months.

**QUIL'S POV**

It was usually dark and quiet out here at this time of night but I knew when I saw Jake's Hummer and heard the voices of the younger wolves something wasn't right. We always came to the meeting place before starting to patrol as wolves. I phased back and slid on my shorts and strode up to meet them.

"And you're sure that's what you saw?" Jake asked.

"Yeah, it was behind that building on Elm. The one that's been kinda abandoned. He's been there every night this week," Zeke said.

I joined my brothers in the loose circle, the headlights from Jake's car lighting the different expressions on everyone's faces. "Call Charlie and get him on it," Jake said matter-of-factly.

"We already did but it's like the dude knew Charlie was coming. Either he's got a good lookout or the dude's got a mole in the police office," Zeke told Jake.

Jake took a deep breath and crossed his arms. "Maybe we should go pay him a visit then, just rough him up a little," Embry said.

"What? We're vigilantes now? Last time I checked there were guys that fought crime and that wasn't us," one of the younger wolves said.

"Maybe, but we protect our people and I can guarantee you some of that drugs are making their way onto the Rez," Embry said. "You want to be responsible for that?"

"I'll go," I piped up. I was pretty sure my adrenaline was speaking for me but what the hell?

"No, you don't have—" Embry started.

"I said I'll go," I snapped at him, just like I had a Claire earlier.

Jake looked at me and narrowed his eyes like he was thinking. "Alright, take AJ and Collin with you, and the kid," he said, pointing at Sebastian Birmingham who looked like he was trying very hard not to get noticed.

"Be careful, and don't bring notice to the pack," Embry added.

"I know," I glared at him, noting the look of surprise on his face, but I didn't care. "Fine, let's go," I said, motioning to the kid and the others to follow me. We needed to get dressed and we needed wheels. The four of us piled into Collin's old pickup, AJ and the kid in the back. I zipped up my hoodie and pulled out the riding gloves I kept in my pocket and slid them on.

"Turn the lights off when we get close," I told Collin as I pulled my hood up over my head.

"Okay, brother," Collin said, killing the lights as we pulled up to the flimsy gate.

"Yeah, like this will keep anyone out," AJ said from the back. "Hey, if anyone feels like they're going to phase, you better get the fuck out of here."

The moment Collin put the truck in park, I was out and over the piece of shit fence in less then ten seconds. It wasn't hard to miss the action going down either. Two trucks, side by side, and four guys, each covered in tattoos and smoking cigarettes.

"Fuck," Collin said under his breath. He knew, just as I did, that this was bad. This was bigger than we'd thought and I wasn't sure how this was going to work if we planned to stay human to stop it.

"What are we waiting for?" Sebastian asked and started to move forward.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" AJ pulled the kid back behind him. "Do you not see the guns strapped to their sides?"

He was right, at least two of them were carrying. "So what do we do?" Sebastian asked.

I was trying to devise a good plan in my head until I saw someone come out of the warehouse, someone who was a little too familiar.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me?" I growled. I pushed off the wall and headed towards the familiar face.

"Quil?" Before the words were out of his mouth, my fist his jaw. I heard the guys scrambling behind me. I could hear AJ talking to himself in Quileute…_don__'__t __phase, __don__'__t __phase__…_but I was focused on the task at hand. "What the fuck are you doing?" he yelled as I made contact with his nose, and then pushed at his chest to knock him to the ground.

He tried to get up but I kicked him in the chest to knock him back down, remembering thanks to AJ's chanting to check my strength and not kill him. "What the fuck, Quil?"

"Ten years, you worked for me," I kicked at his side. "And you're pushing drugs?" I kicked again, this time feeling something give. "What the fuck is wrong with you, Dayton?" I kicked again as he rolled on his side.

"God, Quil, you don't get it. I've got a wife, kids, and the shit wage you were paying me…" He groaned as kicked again. "I s-s-swear," he stuttered. "I never pushed on the Rez, only here in Forks."

I could feel a growl in my throat as his words went in one ear and out the other. "Don't you ever fucking show your face my business, my rez, or my family ever again, you got that, fucker?" Each word accented with a kick. I lunged at him and grabbed him by the neck. "Do you understand me?" I pulled him to look me in the eyes.

"Yes," Dayton said softly.

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?" I yelled and yanked at his shirt.

"Yes!" he said as he coughed.

"Quil, enough," Collin said from behind me.

I looked back to see Sebastian helping AJ carry a very unconscious man to the trucks.

"You guys handled that?" I asked.

"Yup. Got them and a whole bunch of little baggies," Collin replied. "Cash too. I guess business must've been good."

"You and AJ drive the trucks and deliver them to Chief Swan, with our friends inside them," I said through gritted teeth. "I'll take the kid back to the rez." I motioned for Sebastian to follow me while I stopped next to Dayton. "And take this piece of shit with you," I said, spitting at the loser still on the ground, holding his balls like the pussy I knew he was.

"Be careful, bro," he said as he slapped me on the back.

I turned back to the very beaten man laying on the ground. "Oh, and Dayton?" he looked at me. "You're fired."

"Let's get the fuck out of here," I turned back and walked to the truck. I didn't really know if the kid was following me until I heard his door close.

The kid bounced in his seat the whole way back to La Push and chattered about beating the shit out of some druggie loser...with a gun, he added.

I let myself into Jake's house, he would be waiting for me for a report. I headed through the spotless living room and into the kitchen. Jake was at the stove, stirring a huge pot of something that smelt good as he turned to grin at Nessie who was rooting in the refrigerator.

"Babe? You're making cornbread to go with this right?" he asked hopefully.

Nessie laughed as she walked over to him, I guess they didn't realize that I was there as she hit Jake lightly over his butt before she pressed herself against his back and bit his ear. "You're lucky I'm crazy about you," she whispered and I couldn't take anymore.

"Hey Jake," I announced my presence. "It's done!" I turned and headed out.

I started walking out but felt my Alpha's presence behind me. "Everything okay, Quil?" I knew he wasn't talking about business.

And I didn't quite know how to answer. I turned and looked at him. "I don't know, Jake. I...I just don't know," I answered back.

Not long after, I leaned against the cool shower tile while the heat of the water washed away the sweat and the smell of Dayton's fear and traces of his blood. I felt like a world of disappointment was settling around me. This day had been a bust for sure. While I was pissed that I'd lost one of my employees, one of my first employees, I wouldn't tolerate drugs…period. I'd seen too many people's lives destroyed and I didn't really give a shit what Dayton's excuse was. It wasn't acceptable and I wouldn't turn a blind eye and watch my town, my Rez, destroyed by the greediness of some potbellied asshole. Besides I had a bigger situation to deal with: my wife. I suppose I had spoiled her too much, I don't know. I hated fighting about money though. I can remember those fights between Mom and Dad before he died. The way it was always tense when the phone would ring and another bill collector was promised another payment that probably wouldn't be enough or on time for that matter. I saw what that did to a husband and wife and I knew that I didn't want that for my kids.

Claire and I weren't poor by any means. We lived comfortably and I took pride in knowing that the house we lived in was our house, the cars we drove, we were paying for. But there was no place in our budget for thousand dollar face cream, or designer handbags or luxurious vacations. That didn't bother me. I was happy with what we had. And I thought Claire was too.

I turned my face to the showerhead and let the water fall down on my face, secretly hoping that maybe some sort of revelation would pop into my head. How could she throw Shipo at me again? After all the years and all the explanations, why did she have to keep bringing it up? _And __why __did __it __hurt __so __damn __much?_ I thought to myself as I balled my fist and leaned forward to feel the water on my back and I remembered. I remembered the day that Jake asked me if I wanted a stake in Shipo. It wasn't an easy decision to make. I had a little money from my share of Dad's life insurance payoff and I could've easily joined. But it wasn't that easy.

I closed my eyes and remembered the day. I knew what my choice would be. Sure I had my doubts about Shipo. I mean, here Jake was, willing to follow the Cullens to the ends of the earth, regardless of what he might leave behind, then Paul, the biggest hot head in the state of Washington, and Embry. Let's face it, it wasn't exactly the perfect team to throw what little cash I had in with. But something happened that solidified my choice. I still remembered the sad look on Claire's Dad, Kane's, face as he looked at me and told me how his goal of owning his own auto paint shop wasn't going to work. He and the Munholland clan had moved to Forks so Claire would be close to me. He'd given up a perfectly good job near the Makah Rez because he knew how important she was to me. And now the only thing he would've been able to do, wasn't an option anymore.

"_The __bank __denied __the __loan.__They __said __something __about __having __bad __credit,__" __Kane __sighed.__ "__I__'__ve __got __three __kids __and __no __clue __how __I__'__m __going __to __feed __them __if __I __don__'__t __figure __something __out._"

I figured it out for him that day and offered my inheritance, as well as borrowing the remainder of the loan. Kane's plea wasn't the only reason I chose to not go into Shipo. I actually loved my job. And I was pretty damn good at it, if I do say so myself. I could airbrush, and paint, and every single bike or car that went out that I worked on, I felt like a proud father, sending a well-prepared child out the door for a long and happy life. A part of me went into everything that left that shop and it hurt to think Claire didn't feel that same pride in me. I may do the paintworks for Shipo, but Shipo was bigger than just the bikes. They had clothes, fragrances, other sorts of accessories. Jake had always told me I could buy into Shipo, but I wouldn't be that person, coming in after the success to ride the coattails of the others. I wasn't going to be that hypocrite.

And maybe there was a part of me that wondered if we'd rushed into this baby deal. When I told Mom we were going to try to have a baby, Mom warned me that she didn't think it was time. She was convinced that Claire wasn't ready, that Claire was too young. I knew Claire though. And I knew sis was younger than her when she had Luka and she was a kickass mom, even though she admitted she had to do a lot of growing up in a short amount of time. I think part of me is still holding onto the hope that that's what will happen with Claire.

The water temperature started to cool in the shower and I turned the knobs, then reached for a towel. I took a deep breath as I walked into the bedroom, the lamp next to the bed lighting the room. That was what Claire did. She had for years, always making sure I could find my way, the light that always led me home. I looked at her in the bed, turned with her back to me, on her side, curled into a small ball. I could see the dark circles under her eyes and her red nose, as well as the mountains of Kleenexes surrounding her, all signs that she had been crying. "What am I going to do with you?" I asked, shaking my head. I may have been furious at her but God, I couldn't stop loving her. Why did we hurt each other like this?

I dropped the towel and slid into the bed next to my sleeping wife, spooning my body against her.

She sighed as I held her close. I rested my hand on her belly, where our child grew and kissed her hair. We may argue, we may fight, we may say things that hurt, but no matter what, we would always need one another.


	5. Two Plus Two

**Disclaimer: SM owns the Twilight empire but Ninadoll has created an amazing universe and I'm lucky enough to get to write around in it!**

**Thank you so much to Ninadoll for being such an amazing beta, friend, and supporter! If you haven't yet, please check out her stories,**_**Rest of Forever**_**,**_**How Wonderful Life Is, Now You're in the World,**__**How the Mighty Fall**_**, **_**The Colors of My Life **_**and the most recent edition, with the introduction of some major characters, **_**Eternity is a Long Time**__**.**_**You will love them! And thank her for motivating me to write this chapter so quickly! Thank you, ma'am! HNCH!**

**Thank you as well to my friend Shojioxlow! Thank you for staying up late to review! Look out for missing Palmeranians…Heehee!**

**Thank you to everyone who is sticking with me and reviewed the last chapter! I get so giddy when I see a new review in my inbox! Please check out my blog at **liljenrocksfanfiction{dot}blogspot{dot}com/** and webs for pictures! Please comment and let me know what you think!**

**I also wanted to take a second to clear up some things about Quil's business and his relationship with Shipo. Quil chose to start his own business instead of going into Shipo to help Claire's dad but that's not the only reason. Jake, Embry, and Paul weren't the most reliable guys back in the early days. ****And best friends or not, Quil had major doubts about their seriousness, about their sense of responsibility. Quil was in this mindset of setting things up for Claire and he was looking towards that and failed to see the team effort taking place with the 3 guys****. ****When he did realize that they were serious, the business had already boomed and his pride does not allow him to accept Jake's more than generous offer. **

**Thank you again!**

_**LOVE YOU MADLY**_

**CHAPTER FOUR: TWO PLUS TWO**

There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins." –Josh Billings

**Claire's POV**

Pregnancy is a funny thing. They say it's different for everyone and I had to kind of assume that was true because if everyone had to go through what I was going through, the human race would've ended years ago. As it was now, I stood at the washing area with a giant Irish setter, trying not to think about how much the water made me have to pee.

Things had been rough lately. Clients weren't happy when you cancelled on them with no notice. Not to mention I was pretty sure my husband hated me and we'd spent the evening before saying very little to each other until I eventually went into the nursery and tried to use my head to envision the perfect little nursery, now so much different than I'd originally planned.

_Near the end of my first trimester, just after the fight I liked to call "Moisturizer Gate," I went to my normal doctor's appointment with Kim. I was at about 12 weeks and it was the first time we were going to get to see the baby on the ultrasound. Technically, this should've been done sooner but Kim was booked solid and I was adamant about her being the one to do the ultrasound. I'd known Kim since I was two-years old and I wanted her to be the one doing it, not some tech that worked for her. Quil was going to meet me there and like I always did, I looked forward to hearing the baby's heartbeat, the definite sign that something was going on inside that uterus of mine._

_The morning hadn't started out well. Before my eyes were even open the nausea crept in. Everyone said that the more the pregnancy progressed, the less I would feel so sick. I didn't see an end in sight though. Before I knew it, my feet hit the floor and I ran to the bathroom to vomit last night's chicken soup, courtesy of Quil's mom. When the puking stopped, I knew what was coming next and I grabbed the counter as my head started to spin. This baby seemed to assume there was a correlation between puking and almost passing out. The thing was, the dizziness wasn't something that passed quickly. I usually had to sit on the tile floor of the bathroom, my back against the wall, eyes closed, just waiting for it to pass, sometimes it gets so bad, that I'd curl up on the floor. I knew there was nothing I could do until the dizzy spell ran its course. If I tried to shower, I risked passing out or falling in the shower. I couldn't drive because I was pretty sure if my head were a medication, it would come with a warning about operating heavy machinery._

_I wasn't sure how long I was forced myself to sit there but it was my phone that brought me out of my solace. It rang from my bedside table and I pulled myself up gently and hobbled a little. _QUIL_…the Caller ID said._

"_Shit," I muttered to myself. I hit the answer button. "Hello?"_

"_Where are you?" his voice sounded harsh and annoyed. _

_I took a deep breath. "I'm still at the house. I was feeling sick and—"_

"_Please don't use that as an excuse, Claire. You're fifteen minutes late already," Quil was seething and I could hear his anger on the other end of the line._

"_I'll be right there," I groaned before hanging up. Normally, I would've said "I love you" or something but I wasn't feeling much love from my husband. It wouldn't take me long to get to the doctor's office but I was already late and I had a legitimate excuse that I was sure no one would listen to. Everyone, including my husband was waiting for me to fail. _

_I let my head clear for just a second and then put on a nice sundress and sandals before grabbing my sweater hanging on the hook before walking as quick as I could out the door. I put the car in reverse and remembered to shut the garage door, knowing that the one time I'd left it open, Joan came by and she was all too eager to call Quil and tell on me. What was I? Five?_

_As predicted, I made it to Kim's in five minutes but took my time walking to her office. One, I knew Quil was going to be pissed and I wasn't sure I was ready to deal with that. Two, with my luck, if I walked too fast, I'd fall flat on my face. So after the car was parked, and I walked into the building, I enjoyed the stroll and kept calm as I walked down to the end of the hall and into the room filled with pictures of flowers and old Parent's magazines. _

_Quil was waiting for me, standing at the reception area, looking very irritated. I swallowed hard and reminded myself that I was a big girl and I could handle this. "Finally," he groaned. "This is Claire Ateara. She was supposed to have an eleven o'clock with Dr. Schweig but she's late."_

_The receptionist looked about as happy as Quil and my innocent smile must not have fooled her either. "Well, Dr. Schweig is with another patient now and she's booked for the rest of the morning until her lunch break at noon."_

"_Could you possibly tell her we're here? We're old family friends," I tried to pull that card but again she looked unamused._

_The gray haired lady sighed and picked up the phone, pushing some buttons. She looked at me as she crossed her arms, phone still at her ear. "Sorry to interrupt, Dr. Schweig, your eleven o'clock just showed up and she insisted I see if you would still see her."_

_I leaned over the counter and spoke up. "It's Claire!" Like she'd just know I was her eleven o'clock. _

"_You know this wouldn't be an issue if you were on time," Quil snapped at me. I didn't want to tell him that it was his baby making me sicker than I'd ever been in my life. That would make me look even weaker, I knew that. _

"_Uh huh. Okay…yes…okay, I will," the receptionist said into the phone before hanging up. "You're lucky, she said she'll see you at noon. She's going to skip lunch today to take care of you." I could tell she wasn't happy that Kim had agreed to see me. Not to mention the guilt I suddenly felt knowing that Kim was going to miss lunch because of me._

"_Thank you," I said softly, still keeping my eyes off of Quil. It didn't work though because when I turned to find a seat, he stomped behind me. I remained calm, sitting in a chair and taking a deep breath. Quil just looked at me, shaking his head and then sat down next to me._

"_How could you be late for this, Claire? What was so important you couldn't be here on time? Did you conveniently forget to set the alarm?" He was mad and I knew that by the way he was leaned forward. But he was keeping his voice low which was almost more scary than if he'd yelled at me._

_I wanted to tell him that I genuinely was sick. That this day was as important to me as it was to him. Hearing the baby, seeing it, why would he ever think I'd want to miss that? But I knew he wouldn't believe me. He had already made up his mind that I had screwed up, this was my fault. So I just didn't say anything. I just looked at him, seeing all the irritation on his face and I wondered if he would ever look at me like he had the day I'd told him I was pregnant? _

"_Nothing? You're not going to say anything?" he asked, this time a little louder, but still not loud enough for anyone else to hear. "I have a huge meeting with Jake and Embry at noon, Claire. We're supposed to go over the specs for a pretty major client."_

"_So? They're your best friends, call them and tell them the appointment is taking longer than you thought," I said, firmly._

"_No, I'm not lying to them. If you had been here on time, this wouldn't be a problem," Quil huffed and I looked at my watch to see how much longer I'd have to endure the Spanish Inquisition. "You know, you always throw Jake and Embry's money at me. This is how I make money and I'm going to miss out on it because you couldn't get out of bed?"_

_I didn't say anything but I felt my eyes starting to water and knew he'd hit a nerve there. I bit my bottom lip as I felt it quiver and held on tight to the arm of the chair. I wasn't going to cry though. I knew he thought I was being immature and that would just add to it. I wouldn't be like that. "I'm sorry," I said, as softly as possible but I knew he heard. Not because I knew he was a wolf, but because how loud his huff sounded next to me._

_We sat in silence while Quil bounced his leg and looked down at his watch. I couldn't help but think how excited I was when I found out I was pregnant, how Quil had looked at me like I hung the moon, and how special I felt. But I couldn't stop screwing up everything. Even when I thought I was doing the right thing, it wasn't. What if that's the way it was for the rest of this baby's life? One screw up after another? _

"_Claire Ateara?" the nurse called, shaking me out of my miserable pity party._

_Quil looked at his watch as I stood from the chair. And for some reason that pissed me off and I wanted to yell at him that he needed to be rubbing my feet and feeding me grapes every night and that this was all his fault, but I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of proving how childish I was._

"_Here," I said, trying to force out a smile._

"_You're lucky, Dr. Schweig usually goes to lunch now but she's making an exception for you," Kim's nurse smiled at me in her cheery pink scrubs. _

_Quil gave me a look to reinforce that I had not only ruined his day, but Kim's as well. "Yes, thank you," I said. _

"_Let's get your vitals taken care of first." She took me to the scales, weighed me. Then looked at her chart and then the scale again. "Hmmm…your weight is down from last time." She made a note in my chart and then led me to the exam room. Quil plopped down in the chair next to the exam table while I sat on the table for the nurse to take my temperature, my blood pressure, etc. "Okay, Dr. Schweig will be in here in a minute. She's going to check the baby's heartbeat and then you're having an ultrasound today, right?"_

"_Yes," Quil answered for me, looking at his goddamn watch again._

"_Alright," the nurse smiled at me and patted my knee. For the receptionist to be such a bitch, the nurse I liked. "You hang tight, sweetie." I felt like that was the first real smile or warmth I'd gotten from anyone in months._

_As the door closed, Quil looked down at his watch again. "You know, just because you keep looking at it, doesn't mean something is magically going to happen to go back in time and make you not late," I said, instantly regretting it. _

"_You know we originally made the appointment when we did because I knew I had this meeting and if you would've been on time, I wouldn't have to keep looking at my watch," he snapped back at me. _

_I was trying to come up with a great comeback when the door opened and Kim walked in, white lab coat on and a chart in her hands. "Hello Atearas," she said with a small smile._

"_Hey Kim," Quil got up from his chair and hugged Kim. Something he hadn't done for me in awhile. "Sorry for being late," Quil looked at me._

"_Yeah, sorry," I said softly, looking down._

"_It's alright, not ideal, but we'll make it work," she said, looking down at my chart. "Everything here looks good, blood pressure, temp, but I'm a little concerned about your weight. Generally, I'd like to see you gaining weight, not losing it." _

Of course, _I thought to myself_. I couldn't even be pregnant correctly.

"_The good news is that's something we can work on. Just make sure you're eating properly, three meals, snacks, and whatnot," she smiled again and looked at me. "Have you had any morning sickness, lightheadedness, heartburn, anything out of the ordinary?"_

_I wanted to tell her that I was puking my guts out, couldn't get out of bed without almost falling over, and nothing with my body had been ordinary in at least three months. But then I looked at Quil and I knew how much him, and everyone else thought this stuff was all in my head. As I started to open my mouth to answer her, Quil spoke for me. "She's fine." _

_Kim eyed me for a minute and I thought for sure she'd figured me out but she didn't say anything. "Okay, let me take a listen to your heart, then I'm going to have you lie down and we'll take a listen to the little one's heart."_

_She took her stethoscope out and listened to my heart, asking me to take a few deep breaths. I wondered if she could hear how much my heart was breaking. I don't think she could by the way she smiled and then had me lie down. She draped a sheet over my legs, then had me pull my dress up a little and my panties just down to below the small bump that had formed on my abdomen. _

_I looked at Quil and wanted not to feel so alone. He must have had a moment of weakness though because he scooted his chair a little and then held my hand as Kim placed the fetal heart monitor on my stomach and the most amazing sound filled the air. Like a whooshing sound, like the ocean, but like…life. _

"_It sounds good and strong," Kim looked down at me. She continued to listen with us as I felt my eyes water again. That was my baby…our baby, growing and living. I may have been screwing everything else up but at least the little one inside me was growing. I may not be able to cook or clean, but growing the baby was going okay. _

"_Everything's okay?" Quil asked, for once not looking at his watch._

_Kim's face changed a little and then looked down again. "Yeah, everything seems to be fine. Let me…I want to start getting the ultrasound ready." She turned the fetal heart monitor off and I almost wanted to grab her hand and beg her to start it again. I needed to hear that sound to remind me why I could be important. _

"_Did you hear that, baby?" Quil placed a very quick, chaste kiss on my lips. "The baby's okay."_

_I nodded and the tears that I'd been holding back slid down my cheeks and I wiped at them. "Alright, now, just to kind of warn you, what you'll see isn't going to be what you think of when you think of a baby. Right now, at twelve weeks, it'll look a little more developed than a blob. But I promise, that's normal," Kim chuckled as she grabbed a bottle of blueish stuff. "This will be a little cold," she said as she squirted it._

_Little was an understatement, I wondered if the baby now had hypothermia with the way it chilled me to the bones. "Just a little," I said softly. _

_Kim just smiled and placed the transducer on my stomach, making the screen light up in black and white. She moved it for a second as I stared. I didn't know what anything was but I could see a circle with a white peanut in it. "Is that…"_

_She didn't say anything yet, just moved the transducer again. "That's what I thought," she whispered to herself. _

"_What? Is something wrong?" Quil asked with a panic and I felt my own heartbeat spike at the thought of something not being right with the little one I already loved so much._

_Kim let out a little chuckle. "No, no," she kept her eyes on the screen. "Let me show you something. This," she said as she pointed to the circle with the peanut in it. "This is Baby A." She pointed at an almost identical circle with a peanut sitting right next to the first one. "This is Baby B." I wasn't quite sure what she was saying as I stared at the screen, still not sure what she was trying to tell us._

"_Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Quil asked._

_Kim nodded. "Yes, it looks like you two are going to be the proud parents of two little ones," she grinned._

_I snapped my head in her direction. "Two?" I swallowed hard._

"_Yes, ma'am. Twins," she kept grinning and I wanted to ask her what the hell she was smiling at. Twins? TWINS? What…How was I going to take care of twins? I couldn't take care of myself and Quil and we were just two and I already so worried about throwing in another Ateara and now we were getting two? Now not only was I going to screw up on person's life, I was going to have another one to screw up too. _

"_Twins!" Quil jumped up from his seat and stood next to Kim. "Can you show me again?" He asked as he stared at the screen. I watched his face as Kim showed him the places where our babies rested. "This is great! Two babies!" I nodded as he leaned down and kissed me again, this time lingering a little longer. "Wow!" he said. "We did that."_

_We may have created that together but this wasn't going to be something we entirely did together. How was I going to do this? I couldn't do this…something had to give, I wouldn't be able to…I stopped myself as I glanced at the screen, the image frozen as Kim printed off the pictures for us to take home. Two little peanuts sitting next to each other…inside me. I had to do this, if not for me, if not for Quil, for them. My peanuts…I swallowed hard again as the fat tears rolled down my cheeks and I realized just how real this all was. I wasn't sure if I would succeed but dammit, I would try. Trying was something, right?_

_We made an appointment for a few weeks later and Kim made sure to remind me I needed to be eating right because now, I wasn't just eating for two, I was eating for three. She reminded me to take my prenatal vitamins, which I hadn't been doing exactly like I should, mostly because everything that went down, usually came back up. Quil held my hand as we walked out, and then walked me to my car. _

"_I was thinking maybe after work, I could come pick you up and we could go to Simple Spaces, maybe look at some cribs," Quil said with a grin as he opened my door for me._

_I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. He was being so gentle and kind with me and the thought of looking at furniture for our babies made me giddy. For once, this was something we were going to do together. When I moved into the house most of the decorating was already finished, but this, this was something we were going to do together. Equal parts him, equal parts me, just like our babies._

"_I think that sounds great," I smiled and leaned on my tiptoes to kiss him. And he actually kissed me back. With more passion and love than I'd felt in months. So much so that I had to kind of grip the car to steady myself. When he pulled away, I actually had to catch my breath._

"_Okay, can you be ready to go about five?" Quil asked, tracing my bottom lip with is finger. _

_I nodded to him. "I should be."_

"_Great, I think my meeting should be finished by then. I'll give Brady and Zeke a call and let them know we're headed their way," he smiled again and leaned down for another kiss. He placed his hand on my abdomen and kept it there tenderly. "I'm so happy, Claire. Twins, two little…" He didn't finish his sentence before placing another quick kiss on my lips._

"_I love you, Quil," I whispered against him. I wanted to stay like this. I felt warm and safe and loved. And not a single part of me felt sick or overwhelmed or scared. What I wouldn't give to build a little cocoon over us and stay like this for the rest of my pregnancy, then maybe forever with our two little babies._

_He pulled back and looked me in the eyes with so much intensity. "I love you too, Claire-bear," he ran his thumb over my cheek and I hadn't even realized I was crying. "Go get some lunch on your way to work, okay? Keep our babies strong," he pulled me to his chest and let out a loud sigh of contentment. "I'll see you about five," he said as he released me and then walked to his blue Jeep Wrangler. _

_I placed my hand on my stomach, immediately missing Quil's presence, and feeling a little bit colder and alone. "I can do this, babies," I whispered to myself. "I can do this."_

_Maybe it was because I was happy for the first time in a long time, or maybe it was knowing that I had something to look forward to, but work didn't seem so bad for the rest of the day. I was able to keep a smile on my face and I even used a special lavender shampoo on Mr. Carrasco's cranky old Persian. I was anxious to tell everyone the news, but kept it to myself until Quil and I could talk about the best way to reveal our twins. It didn't stop Abby from asking how the appointment went. I just told her it went well and everything was right on track. _

_It may have been my imagination but I even felt like I had more energy at the end of the day. Of course, furniture shopping can do that to a gal. So I giggled a little when I saw Quil pull into the parking space outside the office. He was still grinning as he came in. I heard him greet Abby and Nancy. I had just finished cleaning up and hung my smock on its hook as Quil walked in._

"_Hey Mommy," he said smoothly as he walked towards me._

"_Hi Daddy," I smiled and waited for his lips to meet mine again. Just as they did, I settled into the kiss and then felt him pull back to look at me. His eyes were gleaming. "Ready to start the furniture quest?"_

"_Yes, ma'am," Quil grinned and slid his hand in mine so we could walk to the car together. I waved my goodbyes to the ladies and Quil held the Jeep door open for me. We would come back later to get my car and I was okay with that because I was a woman on a mission, to find the perfect furniture to go in the perfect nursery for my perfect little twins. "Do you think we'll be able to find much not knowing the sexes yet?"_

"_I think so," I said as he climbed into the driver's seat and started the Jeep. "I think we should plan neutral, that way it won't matter if it's two boys, two girls, or one of each. We'll be prepared for anything."_

_Quil nodded with a smile. "Sounds like a good plan." He squeezed my hand tightly in his as we drove along, not far to the furniture store._

_The store, Simple Spaces, was a mixture of modern and classic furniture. It was fairly new and luckily for us, it was owned by two of the wolves, Brady Stillwater and his cousin, Zeke Milagro, the first of the wolves to benefit from the trust fund that Jake had set up for the pack. Rumors were that Embry was their silent partner, having provided the necessary funds to get the business up on its feet. They had modeled their business a little after Ikea, but the furniture was all theirs, with a production plant not far off the Rez and providing jobs for those in need. It kind of made me proud to know our babies would be contributing to that, with cribs made by Quileutes. _

_Quil found a parking space close the entrance, thank God, because there was no way pregnant Claire was going to hike across the parking lot. I may have been feeling a little better but I wasn't completely perfect. _

"_Hey guys," Brady greeted us, shaking Quil's hand. "I hear we're in the search for a crib?"_

"_Or two," Quil chuckled and wrapped his arm around me. _

_Brady thought for a second and then like a lightbulb went off in his brain, he grinned. "Are you telling me little Claire's caring two mini-Quil's in that belly?"_

_Quil didn't miss a beat. "Yep, I'm just that good," he said, taking Brady's hand in a firm shake before releasing me for a bro-hug._

"_Congratulations, guys! That's awesome news! Why didn't I hear sooner?" Brady let loose of Quil and then hugged me._

"_You're actually the first to know. We just found out today," I smiled, patting my stomach a little._

"_Well, then let's get this show on the road. We have to make sure those two cubs have the best cribs in all of La Push," Brady smiled and then escorted us to the children's furniture area. "Do you know the genders yet? That might help with determining what you want. We have natural woods, white, blue, pink, everything you can imagine. And, we have a line of 'green' cribs that I think you might be interested in."_

_I actually felt my heart swell! This was perfect, I was so ready to take charge and create the perfect little nest for our kiddos. "I want to get some ideas today and go from there," I smiled, looking at the small beds as we walked up to them. "Can we see the green ones first?"_

_Quil laughed and placed a kiss on my forehead. "You heard the little lady."_

_I giggled at his playfulness and fell into my element as Brady showed us cribs. I wasn't a fan of the darker woods, since I knew there were going to be two cribs in one room, I wanted it to seem open and inviting. The white and green were nice and neautral. But then I saw the perfect crib. It was a natural color, and I knew two of them, side by side, would be perfect._

"_Look at this one, Quil," I said with a smile, feeling myself get giddy at the promise this crib held. _

"_Ah, yes. This one is part of the 'green line.' It's called Sparrow, made out of birch, mattress can be adjusted to three separate levels," Brady nodded. "And, it comes with a changing table that stacks on the lower area, for quick changes."_

_My eyes got wide as I looked it over. It really did seem perfect, the spindles were perfectly spaced and it looked like it was undisturbed, just like a beautiful tree in the forest. "How much?" Quil asked. I hoped it wasn't too much, this was it, these were the cribs I wanted for our babies._

"_Well, they run about $700 a piece. But since you're buying two and you're family, we might be able to come up with a package deal of some sort," Brady said. I watched Quil's face, we had money in the bank, I had no idea about how much a crib should cost. I did know it wasn't as much as the moisturizer, so that was a plus. _

"_I really like it," I smiled to Quil. _

_Quil smiled back again. "Why don't we go home and take some measurements? Then we can talk about other decorating things."_

_I didn't want to, I wanted to scream at him and stomp my feet and tell him I wanted it now, right now! Two of them, matching and the armoire that I saw that matched it too. In fact, I probably would have a few months ago. "Okay, that sounds like a good idea," I lied, nodding my head and trying to stay positive._

_Quil looked at me gently and pulled me into his side. "But, let's talk about the dresser and the nightstand. What do you think, Claire-bear?"_

_I didn't even hesitate. "I love them! I think they'd be perfect!" I calmed myself a bit, not wanting to seem like a kid in a candy store._

"_Let's talk about prices," Quil chuckled and I let the money talk stay between the two guys, thinking about the perfect places to put them in the room we were using as a nursery. It gave me hope that all the room would need is the two perfect cribs to make the room complete. _

_I touched the soft wood and started to imagine greens and yellows and reds. At least until we found out what the babies would be. It would be amazing, and it would be ours. "Oh, you wanted to look at rocking chairs too, right?" Brady asked and I turned to my husband._

"_Yes, sir. Do you have anything that matches the set?" Quil asked. Brady nodded and led us to the small area where the rocking chairs were. "I think this is the only thing we'll need one of," Quil kissed me softly and held my hand in his. I couldn't imagine a more perfect way to celebrate finding out we were having twins and as scared as I was, this gave me something to look forward to._

_The entire time we drove from the store to the office, Quil kept his hand in mine and smiled. "Should we have dinner tomorrow night to tell the family?" I asked. And even though I didn't want to think about cooking for a hundred thousand people, I wanted to share our news._

"_Yeah, why don't we go to Bellini's though? That way no one has to cook," Quil grinned at me and squeezed my hand. _

"_Yeah?" I asked. This was not the same guy that had given me the budget talk and chided me for not working. It wasn't that I didn't care about money, I just liked this stress-free Quil._

"_Of course. I'll call Mom and Joan when I get home. You want to call your parents and Calista?" Quil brought my hand to his lips and kissed it gently._

"_Calista's with Ron in Seattle for a conference, but I'll call Mom and Calvin. This sounds amazing, Quil," I smiled. _

_I was pretty sure this day couldn't get better. It had started out awful and was ending with hope. I slept better that night than I had since I had found out I was pregnant. Maybe that was because Qui made love to me so gently that night, or maybe it was because I feel asleep in Quil's arms, or maybe it was just knowing that great things were on the horizon._

_The next morning, even though the nausea and heartburn and dizziness were there, I couldn't help but feel even more hopeful for the evening ahead. The day flew by and I only threw up three times! Quite an accomplishment considering a normal day consisted of at least five bathroom trips._

_I wasn't showing a lot but my normal clothes didn't fit quite right and were tight around my baby bump. Luckily, I had the perfect loose sundress to wear and it seemed like a great outfit to announce I was having twins in. _

"_Are you ready, baby?" Quil walked from the bathroom, using his fingers to gently lay down a few wild hairs. _

_I smiled at him, freshly showered from work, wearing clothes that were a little more dressy than normal. He looked sexier than he did when he was naked! And that was saying something._

"_Let me put my earrings on," I said, pulling out the small pearls and putting them in my ears. Quil held my purse and handed it to me, with a kiss on the cheek. "Now, I'm ready."_

_He kissed my cheek again. "You look perfect," he whispered. How much I loved the sound of soft words from his lips. I missed that so much._

_Quil was gentle as he held my hand, opened the car door for me, and helped me up into the Jeep. It was nice to feel so wonderful. He had made reservations at the restaurant and the Ateara side of the family was already there when we pulled up beside the family Ford Expedition in the parking lot. I wasn't going to let anything bother me tonight. Not even difficulties I had with family. Tonight was a celebration._

_My family on the other hand was almost ten minutes late, Mom and Dad both blaming their tardiness on my teenage brother who was too busy texting some little tart to even look up at us. The food at Bellini's was delicious and I savored every bite hoping that it would all stay down to give our little ones the nourishment Quil reminded me they needed. "Eat, Baby," he said, putting a small bit of steak from his plate onto mine. _

_After the food was finished and the plates taken from the table, Quil stood from his chair, keeping my hand in his. "What's the big news?" my Dad asked as he looked up at Quil._

"_My wife and I have an important announcement to make," Quil looked back down at me. "You all know we went for our appointment yesterday with Kim."_

"_Is everything okay?" Anna asked. She actually seemed concerned, unlike Joan who rolled her eyes a little at her mother. I just kept smiling though._

"_Everything's great. In fact, it's better than great," he looked at me again. "It turns out, Claire's not eating for two anymore."_

"_What?" the crowd assembled all gasped._

"_Yeah," he said, pulling me up to stand next to him. "She's eating for three."_

_The room was quiet until it seemed they all figured it out at the same time, the room erupting in a lot of whoops and hollers and tears…except for Calvin who was still texting away. _

"_Twins?" Anna said, placing her hand on my cheek. "Oh, thank you, sweet girl. Two little angels," she said as she kissed my cheek._

"_My baby's having two babies!" Mom yelped with tears in her eyes and I would've rolled my eyes if I weren't also feeling the tears in them. _

_I nodded and hugged her tightly before she leaned down and kissed my belly, whispering soft words in Makah. "What did you say?" I asked._

"_Grow strong, my little ones," she hugged me again and then went to join Quil._

_My dad was smiling but he hadn't really moved from his chair. I walked over to him and stood next to him. "Dad?"_

_He looked up at me for the first time and I noticed the tears in his own eyes. "Sorry, baby girl," he said gently. "I had just gotten used to the idea that you were a grown up having one baby, and now you're having two." He rubbed his piercing blue eyes to force the tears out. _

_I sat down next to him and took his hand. "Dad…" I took a shaky breath. "I need to know that you think I can do this. I need you to have faith in me." Which I did, I needed my family more than ever._

"_Oh baby doll, I do," he put his hand on my cheek. I heard him chuckle a little under his breath. "I'm just not sure I'm ready to be so damn old. Grandpa Kane doesn't sound very cool, you know?"_

_I laughed with him. "Hmmm…maybe we can call you King Kane or Pops or something?"_

"_Pops sounds kinda cool," he smiled. _

"_Pops it is," I cuddled into a hug with my Dad and felt both of us relax a little. _

_I knew I had a long road ahead of me, but for the first time in forever, I felt hopeful and ready to face what was waiting. Two babies, one wolf, and a very large family…I could do this, right?_


	6. Perfect Peanuts

**Disclaimer: SM owns the Twilight empire but Ninadoll has created an amazing universe and I'm lucky enough to get to write around in it! **

**Thank you so much to Ninadoll for being such an amazing beta, friend, and supporter! If you haven't yet, please check out her stories, **_**Rest of Forever**_**, **_**How Wonderful Life Is, Now You're in the World, **__**How the Mighty Fall**_**, **_**The Colors of My Life **_**and the most recent edition, with the introduction of some major characters, **_**Eternity is a Long Time**__**. **_**She is a writing genius and I'm happy to be a part of her universe! Thank you for letting me borrow Petra for a bit in this chapter. HNCH!**

**Thank you as well to my friend Shojioxlow! Honey badger don't care! Honey badger's badass! Heehee!**

**Thank you to everyone who is sticking with me and reviewed the last chapter! I get so giddy when I see a new review in my inbox! Please check out my blog at **liljenrocksfanfiction{dot}blogspot{dot}com/** and webs for pictures! Please comment and let me know what you think!**

_**LOVE YOU MADLY**_

**CHAPTER FIVE: PERFECT PEANUTS**

"Make no mistake about why these babies are here—they are here to replace us."—Jerry Seinfeld

**CLAIRE'S POV**

I stood and looked at myself in the mirror, carefully adjusting my scrubs over my rather pronounced belly. It seemed like it grew a little everyday and honestly I was okay with that. It was supposed to happen like that, but I also thought the vomiting and dizziness was supposed to go away too and that didn't seem to be happening.

"Claire? You doing okay?" Abby asked as she looked at me from the doorway. She was dressed in her scrubs with her lab coat over it and she smiled sweetly. It was honestly the first nice thing I'd gotten from anyone all day. People didn't like listening to someone talk about morning sickness when it's from someone as far along as me, or listen to excuses as to why you have to cancel appointments, or why you want to make your husband dinner, not have it delivered to your doorstep by way of your nosey sister-in-law.

"I'm alright," I said, trying to smile back but not really coming across as honest as I should have. I placed my hands back on my swollen stomach and rubbed gently to my little peanuts inside me.

"Have you and Quil started thinking about names yet?" Abby asked while she walked further into the grooming room.

I stopped looking in the mirror and truned to Abby. "We have a few ideas. It makes it easier now that we know the sexes." And boy was that true!

_Things have been different with Quil since we found out about the twins. He was happier, gentler. He would come by the office more during the day just to chat or just to see me. And he couldn't keep his hands off my stomach. I may have fretted and complained a bit, but I actually really loved it. I loved knowing this was something I was giving him, something part him, part me. _

_Our family continued to be giddy with the news of the twins. We told Calista as soon as she was home and then our second family, the pack, soon after. Everyone seemed excited at the prospect of twin wolves, though I had no clue what sex the babies would be._

_Su and Mom would carefully examine my stomach, trying to decide where I was carrying the most weight, both agreeing it was too difficult to decide, and just putting their money on one of each: a boy and a girl. Anna was convinced it was two boys, while Aunt Emi and Joan thought two girls. The truth was though, I didn't really care as long as they were healthy. I already loved my little peanuts so much that it hurt sometimes. I knew there was so much I didn't know that I needed to know but I wanted to be perfect for them and for Quil. _

_So the day we had our appointment to find out the sexes of the babies, I was more than a little nervous. I worried that something would be wrong or I had done something I shouldn't have. It was a lot more difficult being pregnant than it appeared._

_Quil decided it would be best if we rode together instead of taking separate cars. I don't know for sure but I suspect he was afraid I would be late again and this way he would know I'd be there on time. In fact, with Quil as my chauffer, I was ten minutes early. He held my hand as I flipped through a magazine, stopping at an article about a woman who gave birth naturally, after 42 hours of labor. I patted my stomach, hoping my peanuts would know that would not be okay for me._

"_Claire Ateara?" the familiar nurse said, calling my name._

"_Here," I said as Quil helped me up from my chair._

_We walked back and the nurse did her thing, weighing me, taking my temperature, then blood pressure. She kept glancing at my chart them up at me again. "Dr. Schweig will be in, in just a moment to talk to you. I'm going to go ahead and get you all set up for your ultrasound," the peppy girl in pink scrubs said._

_She helped me get settled on the exam table, while pulling a sheet over my legs like Kim had done before. She pulled over the ultrasound machine and pushed a few buttons before smiling at me. "You just relax," she said before leaving._

"_What are we hoping for?" Quil asked. He pulled his chair closer to me and took my hand. _

"_Healthy little babies," I answered honestly, feeling him give my hand a soft squeeze._

"_Me too. Though I shudder to think about having two little girls, cuz little girls grow up to be teenage girls, who want to date and kiss boys, and I'd like to stay out of jail for killing some creep teenager," Quil looked off and I couldn't help but laugh at the thought of Papa Wolf fighting off some scrawny teenage boy._

"_Well what if someone imprinted on them as babies, like you did me?" I smiled._

"_No," he shuddered. I laughed but the more I thought about it, the more I wondered if I really could have been that bad, if Quil somehow regretted imprinting on me. I couldn't imagine a single day of my life without Quil and I always hoped that he felt the same way about me too._

"_Good morning, Atearas," Kim said as she whisked into the room. "How are the four of you?" she smiled, sitting on her stool and pulling it towards me with my chart in her hands._

"_We're great," Quil said, sounding a little like the Tony the Tiger._

_Kim chuckled and looked down at my chart. She flipped back and forth, back and forth. "Hmmm…" Her sigh brought me out of my happy bubble. _

"_What? Is something wrong?" I asked. I was hesitant to ask. What if she told me something was wrong with the babies? One of them, or both of them? Could she tell that by looking at my chart? _

"_Your weight is still down. As in, you're not gaining weight," Kim looked up at me suspiciously. Quil stiffened beside me and I knew that wasn't good. I ate, at least I tried to. Most of what went down came back up again. "Your blood pressure is a little low too, but let's do your ultrasound and take some measurements. Let's make sure everything is okay, and then we'll work on the other things, okay?"_

_I nodded but I didn't feel too confident. What if the fact that I was puking all day, everyday, was going to end up hurting my peanuts? This was not good, not good at all. Kim pulled my shirt up, while I helped her pull my pants down below my growing stomach. Quil gripped my hand a little tighter and leaned down to kiss my forehead. "You remember the cold gel?" she asked with a smile. I nodded to her as she squeezed the blue goo on my stomach, then pressed the transducer to my belly. "Okay, I want to measure Baby A first." She moved the transducer and pressed down gently. "First I'm going to measure the head, the shape, circumference." She pressed a few buttons and moved the transducer again. "I'm going to check the skull, then the spine." She didn't say anything as she kept moving and pushing buttons. Her face looked soft so that had to be good._

"_How's it looking?" Quil asked. I looked at Kim briefly._

"_Baby A looks great. The measurements look about perfect for 20 week twins. Let me check out Baby B," Kim said, going back to measuring and pushing buttons. She moved the transducer farther over to the side and then looked back at the image on the screen. "Baby B looks really good too. They both seem to be healthy and a great size."_

"_That's really all that matters, right?" Quil squeezed my hand again. _

_I nodded slowly. "Yeah," I was sure I said, no louder than a whisper. My babies were okay, and if that was enough for Quil, that was enough for me. The babies were all that mattered._

"_Do we want to find out the sexes?" Kim asked._

_I knew for sure I did. In fact, just sitting here, seeing babies on the screen, watching them move, made me want it even more. They were already so precious and perfect and even though they might not look like peanuts anymore, they would always be my peanuts. "Yes," I said strongly, looking at Quil for confirmation._

"_Hell, yeah," he smirked, then leaned forward to get a closer view of the screen._

_I could feel them moving and I had to stop myself from touching the screen, their perfect little profiles, then faces so vivid and beautiful. "Well," Kim said before laughing. "Well, it looks like Baby A wants us to know that he is definitely a boy," she pointed to the area where our little boy seemed to be flashing his private parts for the world to see._

"_Definitely Quil's son," I joked._

"_A boy?" Quil asked with a bit of a delayed reaction, moving his stare from the screen to Kim, then me and my stomach, then back to Kim and the screen. _

"_So far, we've got one boy, no doubt about it," Kim smiled. "Well, actually, there's probably a tiny percentage of doubt, but that little one wants us to know he's a boy." _

_I felt a tear run down my cheek and I wiped it away quickly. I don't know why I felt so emotional but seeing my little boy's feet, his face, his nose. He was so perfect. How was I going to be a good mother to him? He was so precious…_

"_I'm going to snap a picture of the pup and then we'll find out about Baby B," Kim smiled down at me, then patted my leg._

_I felt the tears again and a small sob wracked through my chest as I watched Kim snap the picture of my perfect, precious little boy._

**QUIL'S POV**

There was never anything good on the radio anymore. I needed to talk to Tokala about this. And especially when I needed a good song to work to. I pulled a piece of sandpaper from the top drawer as I settled on an Adult Contemporary station. Since when the hell did I listen to Adult Contemporary music? Probably since everything else sounded a little loud and more like mumbling than singing.

I put the sandpaper to the wood, wondering if I should've done this. I probably should've talked to Claire first but it was Joan's idea and she was hardly ever wrong. And why didn't she trust Joan a little more? When had she ever steered us in the wrong direction? Plus, Claire would learn to love it. She couldn't always have everything she wanted. If Claire was upset, I'd deal with it. She was always a little upset about something or trying to get a little attention. Joan told me she should've stopped with the morning sickness in the third month but she still got sick almost everyday, something Joan said she probably did for attention. Her advice was to not make a big deal about it and eventually it would stop. Joan didn't understand how much every time I heard Claire getting sick, I wanted to just wrap her up in my arms and make it better. But we were about to be parents and Claire was adult. She needed to start acting like it.

I looked up at the ultrasound picture of my two sons I had propped up against the radio and remembered the day that picture had been taken...

_It was amazing to me how advanced medical technology had gotten. I mean, used to there was only like this black-and-white fuzzy hazy picture thingy. I remember when Joan was pregnant with Luka, the first time I saw his ultrasound pictures, I was pretty sure there was no more a baby there than there was a man in the moon! But here I was, my hand in Claire's looking at the face of my son…my son, how freakin' perfect does that sound? I was so mesmerized by the little face staring back at me it too me completely by surprise to hear the sniffle come from Claire._

"_Claire?" I looked down to see her face streaked with tears._

_She shook her head at me. "I'm okay. I'm okay. I just…"_

_I knew what she was saying without the words to say it. "That's our baby boy," I smiled. Our baby boy, I would've cried myself if I wasn't, you know, Quil. The guys guy, the manly man. Oh fuck it…I looked at the baby again and my own tears formed in my eyes. _

"_Oh baby," Claire put her hand on my cheek and wiped away the tears that trickled down. I mean, it was just a few tears, I could keep my street cred with a few tears. Kim chuckled a little and we both looked up at her._

"_If you tell your good for nothing husband about this—" I started._

"_Oh please! Jared bawled like a baby the first time they put Hawk in his arms," she laughed. "That's the problem with you guys. You think because your wolves, you have be tough guys. But we wives know there's more there."_

"_Ha!" I chuckled. "Yeah, well, we also rip vampires apart. Don't forget that."_

_Kim shook her head but I looked down at Claire. She was still staring at me and I leaned down to kiss her forehead. I scooted closer so I could hold onto Claire's hand tighter. I wanted to hold her and kiss her and let her know how much I loved this. Our babies, one little boy. "Can we see Baby B?"_

"_Most definitely," Kim said, moving the wandy thing across Claire's big stomach. Of course, I'd never tell her it was big. Oh no, that would be World War III. And I actually thought it was kinda sexy, but I digress._

"_Baby B is a little more shy, it seems," she chuckled and moved the wand again. "I'm just going to try to get him to wake up and move around a little." _

_I nodded and stroked Claire's hand. "I guess this one must take after your brother," I laughed thinking about the calm, usually stoned looking Calvin._

"_Shut up," Claire swatted at me. _

"_Ah, there we go," Kim said. _

_I might not have been a doctor but I knew a penis when I saw one. "Hell, yeah! Two boys!" I yelped a little too loud for a doctor's office. _

"_That would be correct," Kim chuckled. "Two boys. Baby B is definitely the smaller of the two but he's healthy." She moved the wand and pressed a button and the screen showed our two boys laying side by side, together. "They seem to get along though."_

"_Yeah, well I think they play on opposing soccer teams at night and they think my bladder is the ball," Claire giggled a little but I felt her body tense._

"_Two boys, baby! Two boys," I smiled, pushing my lips to my wife's. I deepened the kiss a little and ran my hand up her smooth cheek. How the hell did I get so damn lucky? I pulled back to look into Claire's tear-welled eyes. _

"_Alright, love birds," Kim said, wiping the gel off Claire's stomach. "Some serious stuff. I want to talk about Claire's weight and blood pressure." I instantly sat up straight. "You've got to start gaining weight, Claire. The babies are okay but you've actually lost weight. The babies need nourishment but you do too." _

_Kim and I helped Claire sit up. "I know," Claire looked down. _

"_And your blood pressure is a lot lower than I'd like," Kim pulled her own stool to us and sat down. "I don't want to put you on bedrest but if it doesn't get better, I'll have to."_

"_No, I don't want to be on bedrest," Claire said, which was probably good because I knew it would hurt her business if she missed more work._

_Kim put on her strict doctor face. "Then you need to do a few things for me. First off, you need to make sure you're eating. And I don't mean little snacks here and there. I'm thinking at this point you might need at least three good meals and at least two hearty snacks. Plus, I want you to make sure you're taking your prenatal vitamins."_

"_I am. Every day," Claire interjected, looking like a kid about to be sent to time out._

_Kim eyed her a little suspiciously. "Lastly, I want you to start sleeping on your left side to help with the blood pressure."_

"_Why the left side?" I asked, knowing full well that Claire always slept on her right side. I mean, ALWAYS._

"_That should increase blood flow and nutrients to the placenta. I'd like you to come in, in about 4 weeks so I can check and make sure you're improving," Kim said and made a few notes on her chart. "And I have pictures of your beautiful boys," Kim smiled wider as she pulled the pictures from the machine and handed them to me. "I can't wait to meet them."_

_I looked down at my little pups faces and smiled. "Neither can I."_

_I helped Claire off the exam table and we walked out of the room with my arm around her, one hand on her stomach, just in case I needed to go all ninja to protect my babies. Claire set up her appointment while I checked my phone to see if I'd missed anything from the shop. _

_4 Missed Calls: Joan_

_As much as I loved my sister, four calls was a little much, even for me. "Hey, Claire, I'm going to step into the hall and call Joan back," I said. I heard Claire sigh loudly and I turned to look at her. She kept her head down but I heard a small "fine". Satisfied, I turned and headed out. I dialed Joan's number and only heard one ring before she picked up._

"_It's about time! Do you know how many times I called?" her voice was short and she was pissed at me, for sure._

"_Four times. Why? Is something wrong?" I asked._

"_What am I having? Nieces? Nephews? A niece and a nephew? What's the verdict, little brother?" Joan was impatient and that made it much more fun for me._

"_Ha, like you think you're going to get it out of me that easily," I joked._

"_Fine, then I won't tell you about the awesome idea I had today," my sister snapped._

_She knew just how to intrigue me too. "What idea?"_

"_Meet me at the garage in 15 minutes and I'll tell you all about my genius plan," Joan said and before she even let me protest or tell her that I had to take Claire to the grooming salon, she hung up. _

_Claire waddled out of the doctor's office with her purse over her shoulder and her hand on her stomach. "What did Joan want?"_

_I shook my head. "I don't know. She has some grand idea and I'm going to meet her at the garage after I drop you off." I wasn't sure but I thought I heard Claire say something like "woohoo" under her breath and I chose to ignore it. I held Claire close to me again as we walked to the car and as soon as we were in the Jeep, her hand reached out for mine. I smiled to myself and intertwined our fingers. Holding Claire's hand had changed over the years, but it never made me feel anything less than loved. _

_Claire was quiet as we drove though. She'd grown quiet since she got pregnant, though I'd occasionally hear her humming to herself, like she was doing now as she rubbed her stomach, her face towards the window. "Can I have one of the sets of ultrasounds for my office?" I interrupted her and she turned to me with a smile. _

"_Of course. One for you, one for me, one for the nursery," Claire said softly._

_I usually dropped Claire off and went about my business, but with that precious cargo on board, I made sure to get my ass out of the car and help her in. Not to mention that I was delaying my meeting with sister crazy._

"_Calista's bringing you home tonight, right?" I asked her as she settled in her chair in her office._

_She nodded. "We're going to look at some stuff for the nursery."_

_I leaned down and kissed her lips. "Okay, I'll see you tonight then."_

"_Love you," she said._

"_You too, or should I say you three?" _

_Claire laughed. "My husband the cheeseball!" _

_I walked out, giving a wave to Abby who was walking a puffy white dog to the back. I spent the drive to the shop trying to figure out what the hell Joan could've come up with in her head or even what it could relate to. Of course when I walked in though, she was in my office, wiping off the coffee table. "What are you doing?" I asked._

"_Just tidying up a bit," Joan said. "Besides, you're going to be thanking me here in a minute. Of course, you're going to tell me what I'm having first." _

_I pulled the ultrasound pictures out from my shirt pocket and slid them over to her. "Read it and weep, two baby boys! Am I good or what?"_

_Joan rolled her eyes. "Please." I stood next to her while she closely examined the pictures. I explained to her that the babies were both healthy and doing great but that Claire wasn't gaining weight and was having problems with her blood pressure. "If she didn't make everything such a chore, she'd be fine. I don't know why she has such a problem with me helping. It's not like she knows how to cook or anything." I should've interrupted her. Claire really had come so far in the last three years. She could cook. Sure, she wasn't the best, but she tried and it was generally good. I couldn't say that to my sister though because I owed her a lot for all her help. I looked at her as she let out a sigh. "Two babies…but don't worry, little brother. We'll manage."_

"_Yeah, well, she's keeping the babies healthy." I swallowed and looked at the ultrasound pictures. "They're pretty perfect though, right?"_

_Joan chuckled. "That they are," she laid the pictures on my desk. "So do you want to hear my fabulous idea?" I nodded, not really wanting to hear anything she might say. "I have the perfect way for you guys to save some money on the nursery."_

"_What's that?" I asked, intrigued at the prospect of saving money. _

"_I found these two cribs at a garage sale just outside of town. They're not identical and they need a paint job but they look good," Joan said animatedly. _

"_I don't know, Joan. Claire and I already picked out cribs at Simple Spaces," I said._

_Joan scoffed. "But these have barely been used and are probably half the price."_

_I thought for a moment and remembered the day that we'd picked out the cribs, how excited Claire and I were to find out we were having twins. How beautiful she looked as she bit her lip, looking over every single detail of every crib. "Claire really had her heart set on the cribs we picked out."_

"_Yes, well Claire is young and impractical. Think about all the money you're going to spend just in the next year on two of everything. Two cribs, two car seats, diapers, bottles, pacifiers. Now, do you really think you'll be able to afford all of that?" Joan gave me that look big sisters give you when they clearly think they know better than you._

"_You know I can afford it, Joan. The business is doing good and I've been saving and—"_

"_What if there's an emergency? What will you do then? Hmm? You'll have two babies and a very young wife and no clue what to do?" Joan cocked one of her eyebrows. "You can get new mattresses, you're just buying the crib frame. And you'll be able to paint them however you want."_

_The more I wanted to tell her no, the more it started to make sense. I mean, how long would they sleep in the cribs anyway? Not that long and why waste the money? Not to mention that we could make these cribs even better than anything we'd seen. I could paint one like the moon and the other like the sun and we could do a space theme on the walls. My boys would be the only ones with those cribs. And saving money was good, maybe we'd be able to start saving for expanding and building onto the house when the boys got older or our first family vacation. Surely Claire would understand. _

_I took a deep breath. "Where are they?"_

_**CLAIRE'S POV**_

"I can't believe you're having two boys," Abby chuckled as I stood looking in the mirror.

"You have two boys," I reminded her.

"Yeah, but I have two boys born three years apart. You my friend are brave," she shook her head looking at the pictures of the ultrasound.

I had looked at the pictures so much, I'd only had them 24 hours and I was pretty sure I'd memorized every wrinkle, every frown, every detail of my little boys.

"Claire, you have a visitor," Nancy's voice came over the intercom. "I'm going to send her back."

"It's just me, Claire," I heard a small voice. "I brought you lunch." I felt myself smile at my friend's voice, I'd missed her. It didn't take her but a few seconds to reach us, and there stood Petra Call with a picnic basket in her hands. "I brought Chicken Caesar Wraps. I know they're your favorite."

I waddled my way over to her and pulled her into a hug. "Really?"

Petra nodded. "And banana pudding."

I did a little mental dance thinking of the delicious food I knew was waiting for me in that basket. Petra's cooking could raise the dead, turn a crazy man sane, and turn cats into dogs, it was just that good.

"How was Los Angeles?" Abby asked. She hugged Petra as well and Petra giggled a bit.

"It was so nice! After Embry's meeting, he took me to go shopping and I got to put my feet in John Wayne's footprints. He's an actor," she smiled. "Ooh and I brought you all a present." She sat down the picnic basket and the bag with her and pulled her presents out, something that was shaped like an egg. "It's an omelet maker! You put crack an egg in here, add all your other ingredients, shake it up, and the pour it in the pan! Isn't it the most amazing thing you've ever seen?" Petra's excitement was written all over her face and Abby and I exchanged a look. While I was grateful and it was interesting and definitely useful, Petra looked like she might have just discovered the cure for the common cold or the Fountain of Youth.

"Thank you, Petra," Abby smiled and nodded as Petra gave her an egg-shaped plastic container. "Ash loves omelets so she'll be helping me use it a lot too."

"Thank you, Petra," I said as well.

"You're welcome," Petra beamed. "There's extra food if you want to join us."

"No, no, you guys enjoy. Seth and I are going for lunch," Abby smiled.

"Yeah, I know what happens when you two go to lunch," I raised one of my eyebrows and saw a little blush in Petra's complexion.

Abby giggled. "I'll never tell," she said, quickly getting out of the room because I knew she was going to blush too. I don't know who I was kidding though, it wasn't like I was having sex anytime soon.

As soon as Abby left, I took the basket from Petra and carried it to the table. "Should you carry that? It's not too heavy?"

I smiled softly at my friend. "It's okay," I answered. "Thank you for bringing me lunch. It's been so long since I had a meal that I loved." And it had been. Joan brought Quil's favorites over all the time but it had literally been months since I had something I loved. Since the night QUil and I decided to have a baby. That was the last time I'd eaten something that I loved.

"You're welcome," Petra walked over to the table in the breakroom to sit with me. "I tried a new recipe for the dressing. I hope you like it."

"I know I will!" I started pulling things out of the basket and noticed that there was more than just the wraps and banana pudding. She'd put homemade potato chips and fresh berries in there. Not to mention the bottles of Perrier water. "Wow, Petra! This looks amazing. Did you do anything else this morning?"

She nodded with a small smile. "I washed Embry's shirts and then hung them up. Then I went to the grocery store. Then I cooked."

"You get more done in a few hours than I can get done in a few days," I chuckled. I didn't want to mention that was because I was sicker than a dog.

After I had pulled all of the food out of the basket and Petra sat across from me, she pulled another bag out and pulled out a box. "I also got this for you," she slid the blue package my way. "Open it."

"Thank you," I smiled, slipping the blue paper off and then opened the white box. Inside was a silver frame, with the words _Love At First Sight_ engraved on it.

"It's for you to put the pictures of the ultrasound in. You can put it in the nursery or in your room or on your desk—" Petra said but I grabbed her hand. This would be so perfect for the first pictures of my little peanuts.

"Thank you so much," I said trying to hold back tears. I pulled one of the ultrasound pictures out of my pocket and slid it to her. "This is one of the two of them, you can see them really clearly." I smiled as I pointed. "This is Baby A and Baby B. Two little boys."

Petra's eyes widened then teared up a little. "Oh Claire," she smiled. "They really are real babies." She touched the pictures tenderly like I had before and I laughed a little at her realization

"I think this picture will go perfectly in this frame. I'll keep it next to my bed and then put it in the nursery." I couldn't wait to go over the plans for the nursery with her. I knew we wanted to do a space theme, probably from all the times Quil would look at the stars with me. "Ooh, look what I found to go in the nursery!" I said, pulling out the folder in my bag in my locker that had different ideas for the room. I showed her the picture of a lamp I'd found that had holes punched out to put constellations on the wall.

"Oh, wow," Petra nodded as she looked at it.

"Ooh, and I haven't shown you the cribs yet! I think Quil and I are going to get them next week and I can't wait!" I couldn't help the excitement building just at looking at the pictures of the cribs. It was something Quil and I had found together, our first thing to buy for the babies and I couldn't be more proud.

"Claire?" Petra asked with a curious tone. "How does it feel? Knowing that you're going to be a mother?"

I put my wrap down and wiped my hands. It was something that I thought about all the time. Literally, all the time. Was I ready for this? Could I do this? I never really expressed that fear to anyone and I realized that I really needed to. But should I share my fears with Petra? What if I scared her? Right now, it felt like she was the only one I had, the only one who wouldn't yell at me and tell me to grow up. "I'm a little scared actually," I said hesitantly, looking at her. "What if I screw up? I can't just erase things with babies. What if I'm not good enough? What if they cry and I don't know what to do? Or if they get sick and I don't know what to do? What if I don't know how to do anything?" I swallowed hard, trying to keep the pregnancy hormones at bay. "And Quil always seems angry with me, like I already can't do anything right. I know that's just going to get worse when the babies come. Not to mention the only time he wants to talk to me or touch me is when we're talking about the babies."

"Do you think that's why Carlisle doesn't think I should have babies yet?" Petra asked with a sad face.

I shook my head. "I don't know for sure. I mean, I don't know if I'm ready to have a baby either. But this was so important to Quil. And I love him so much I would do anything. You know what that's like," I said and I watched her nod. But then I felt the little babies inside me move. "And I love my little peanuts. My little precious peanuts." I rubbed my stomach where the most amazing things I'd ever created lived. "Sometimes I think Quil and Joan and my mother are all expecting me to fail. I mean, there's not a lot of things I'm good at. But I want to be good at this. I want to be a good mommy, Petra. I want my babies to love me and to need me." I rubbed my stomach and smiled. "And I'll start with the most amazing nursery anyone's seen."

I knew the tears that I'd been trying to hold didn't want to stay behind anymore and I let them slide down my cheeks until I quickly wiped them away and looked back at Petra. Just as I started to say something again, the babies made it loud and clear they weren't too keen on something I'd eating. Or maybe it could've been that I'd shoveled in lunch like it was the last meal I was ever going to eat. I almost didn't make it to my feet and I didn't make it to the toilet, having to improvise and pull the trashcan over quickly to hurl up all of the food I'd just eaten.

"Oh no, Claire!" Petra yelped a little.

I put her hand up to stop her from coming over, knowing that it was disgusting and I didn't want her vampire senses making it harder on her. "It's okay, just give me a second," I choked out as I dry heaved.

Petra didn't seem to listen though and I heard the water faucet turn on and then felt a cool rag on the back of my neck. "Are you okay, Claire? Have you been sick like this?"

I shook my head again and felt another lurch as I dry heaved again. "It doesn't matter. I'd do anything for my peanuts." Just as I said it, my knees buckled and I felt my body sway forward, and I started to panic until Petra caught me in her arms.

"It's okay," she said as she held me in her arms and helped lower me gently to the floor. I don't know why but something about how much I had needed someone to tell me it was okay, needed someone to hold me, made me more emotional than I had been at Kim's office yesterday and I clung to her and let out all the months of frustration and pain and misunderstanding and confusion. And Petra let me, almost like she knew I needed a friend so badly it hurt. I needed someone in my corner to understand what I was dealing with.

I cried for at least a good fifteen minutes before I summoned the courage to try my feet. Petra hooked her arms under mine and I was grateful for her strength as she helped me up, handing me a bottle of water to rinse my mouth out and then spit into the sink. "T-Th-Thank y-you, P-petra," I hiccupped out.

"You are my friend, Claire. You don't have to thank me for doing what I should do for my friend," Petra smiled and I hugged her tightly. "I'm going to take you home."

"No, I might have appointments," I told her, remembering how pissed everyone was when I didn't work.

"You're just going to have to reschedule," she said, very matter-of-factly, her authority very unlike the usually timid and calm Petra.

I checked with Nancy, who assured me the only important thing for the afternoon was the supplier coming in with shampoos and other pet products. She very kindly agreed to check them and sign for them. I made sure everything was settled with the clients I'd worked on in the morning and gave her all the proper paperwork. Petra had packed up the leftovers from our lunch and was waiting for me as I put my purse over my shoulder and said goodbye to Nancy.

Petra held the door open for me and I slid in passenger's seat of her mini-Cooper. I caught my breath as Petra got in on her side and looked at me with a smile. "When we get you home, you should get into bed," she nodded and pulled out of the parking lot.

"Yes, ma'am," I said with a smile, noting the changes in her once more. I did feel tired, but what were the chances a nap wouldn't lead to some sort of home invasion by my mother or my in-laws?

"And I'm going to leave your Caesar wraps," Petra said. "Don't give any of them to Quil."

I kind of had to hold back the snort that would have accompanied my giggle. I couldn't say anything though. "Thank you, Petra. For bringing me home," I said gently. "And for being a good friend. I don't always have…" I paused and took a deep breath. There weren't a lot of people that were in my court, but it made me feel so much better knowing I had Petra there with me.

"Well, I'm here now," she said, patting my hand. I don't know why, but that simple touch meant a lot more to me than I could explain.

We talked about her super long vacation and then talked a little more about the nursery. I was glad to relax a little and just talk with my friend. I'd missed that, I'd missed having anyone who wanted to know how life was for me. Quil was extremely busy with work and even though someone was usually with me all of the time, I didn't have a friend like I did now.

I was sad when we pulled onto our street and I saw our driveway. I noticed Quil's Jeep in the driveway, something that shouldn't happen for a few more hours. "Quil must've come home early," I said softly. I knew he wasn't going to be happy that I had left work early or that I had left my car at work or, well, Quil just wasn't going to be happy with me.

Petra pulled the car into the driveway and I could see the garage door open and hear the music playing from inside. I sighed loudly. "Thank you for bringing me home and for the delicious lunch," I said to Petra. I couldn't see inside the garage but I knew Quil was doing something in there. "I'm just going to go in and rest for awhile."

"That's good. You need to rest. Do you want me to bring dinner over tonight?" she asked.

I shook my head. "No, I have stuff for dinner."

"Okay," Petra said.

"Thank you again, Petra. I'm so happy you're back. I really missed you," I leaned across the console and my big pregnant belly to hug her. I put my hand on the door but stopped. "Hey, Petra?"

"Yes?"

"When the babies come, will you help me learn how to cook?"

"Don't be silly, Claire," she said. "Your meatloaf is much better than mine. You put brown sugar in the ketchup and put bacon on top."

I smiled at the compliment. "Thank you, but I need to know how to cook more. It's okay for just me and Quil but when the babies come…my little peanuts will need me to cook more than just that."

Petra looked at me for a second and then nodded. "Okay, Claire," she said. I said my thanks again and got out of the car, shutting the door behind me.

I very slowly made my way to the garage where I was overcome with the smell of paint fumes. But it wasn't the smell that caught me most off guard. "What are you doing home?" Quil asked as he saw me walk in.

"What is this?" I asked. In front of him were two cribs. Mismatched and coated with what looked like a coat of thick white paint.

"They're cribs," he grinned. "I picked them up today." I thought for a moment about what to say next. I wasn't an idiot, I knew they were cribs. What threw me was that they definitely were not the cribs that I'd picked out, the cribs we'd picked out together. He must've known what I was thinking because he quickly interrupted my thoughts. "I know they're not the ones from the store but Joan found them and I got them for a great price. And they kind of go with the other stuff we've already bought."

I kept my mouth shut, focusing on the clipped tone of his voice. Of course Joan had something to do with this. She had something to do with everything that broke my heart at this point. The cribs were nice but they didn't match and most importantly Quil had done this without me. He had made this decision without even thinking what I might want. "Are you okay?" Quil's voice asked. "You look kinda green."

How could he make this decision without me? Why would he do it? Didn't he trust me? Weren't we supposed to be a team? Didn't I matter? Why was I so useless? "I don't feel so well," I answered. I walked past him and the foreign cribs, into the house, straight to the kitchen.

The paint fumes hadn't bothered me too much when I was in the garage, but for some reason, when I was in the kitchen, in the fresh air, I started to feel the dizziness set in again and then the lurch in my stomach that had become like a familiar enemy. I dropped my bag on the floor with a thud, waddling as fast as my swollen pregnant feet would carry me. I leaned over the sink, grabbing hold of the side and let out anything that was left in my stomach. Though I wasn't sure how there could be anything left in there. The last gag passed and I turned on the water of the sink to rinse down the disgustingness. I splashed it around and then leaned in a little to take the water in my mouth. I gargled it back to rinse my mouth out. _ Could I do this for a few more months?_ I spit out the water and grabbed a towel next to the sink, wiping away a few droplets of water as the reality of the situation sat in. _Where was my husband? I knew he could hear me in here, he had wolf-hearing. Why didn't he care enough to be in here with me?_

I dropped the towel on the counter and closed my eyes as I felt my knees bend and buckle. I sat on my heels, holding my stomach, my little peanuts. This afternoon, Petra had been there to help me and comfort me. It didn't feel so bad when someone was there to let me know it was okay. Now, now I had no one.

I closed my eyes harder to get my balance before I felt a wet, cold tongue on my face, followed by a low whine. "It's okay, Eros," I whispered. Eros didn't care though, he must've known how much I was breaking, how close I was to giving up. But I was glad to have his comfort and I hugged him around his neck and buried my face in his fur. "How am I going to make it, boy?" He responded by putting his paw on my shoulder and licking my face again.

I somehow found the strength I needed and leaned forward to use the counter to pick myself up. I wanted to lie down but I thought before I did that I should take the chicken out of the freezer to defrost.

I opened the freezer door and expected to find the chicken there but instead found an icy, empty spot where it once sat. I looked in the refrigerator, but it wasn't there. Then I smelt the aroma from the counter and noticed the slow cooker, cooking my chicken for the dish I wanted to make for my family for dinner. I had found this new recipe online and I wanted to try it. I wanted to be a better wife, I wanted to be a good mother. And yet here was my chicken, cooking, without my knowledge. It was my goddamn chicken! I very slowly walked back to the garage where Quil was hunched over one of the cribs. "Who put the chicken in the slow cooker?"

Quil didn't turn, probably because he know I was pissed. "Joan. She'll be back about five to finish it," he said, I could hear the irritation in his voice.

Something occurred to me in that moment and it was so profound that it literally almost knocked me off my feet. I smelled the cooking chicken, the chicken Joan was cooking. I watched as my husband put a layer of white paint on the cribs that his sister had bought, that his sister had insisted he buy, and I knew it. I knew that no matter what I did, no matter how much I thought things were going to be okay, were going to be perfect, I was never going to be enough. Not for Quil, not for his family, not for my family, and least of all, not for our babies. I was always going to be just what I was, inadequate, with flighty ideas and no one to trust in me. As far as anyone was concerned, they had already determined that I couldn't do it. I was a lost cause, there was no hope, I couldn't even be trusted to design the nursery for my sons, the nursery that had kept me motivated and optimistic, the nursery that was now part of someone else's plans. There was no hope for me.

I walked back to the kitchen, to my bag. I took the brochure of the cribs I'd picked out at Simple Spaces and put them in the trashcan, along with the hopes and dreams I had for my future. I was no good to anyone…that was the only certain thing I knew.


	7. Doubt

**Disclaimer: SM owns the Twilight empire but Ninadoll has created an amazing universe and I'm lucky enough to get to write around in it!**

**Thank you so much to Ninadoll for being such a brilliant beta, friend, and supporter! If you haven't yet, please check out her stories,**_**Rest of Forever**_**,**_**How Wonderful Life Is, Now You're in the World, **__**How the Mighty Fall**_**, **_**The Colors of My Life **_**and the most recent edition, with the introduction of some major characters, **_**Eternity is a Long Time**__**. **_**She is a writing genius and I'm honored and happy to be a part of her universe! HNCH! And Hello Eddie! **

**Thank you as well to my friend Shojioxlow! Her second favorite Manning did a great job on Sunday and we're all hoping for her favorite Manning's return next season!**

**Thank you to everyone who is sticking with me and reviewed the last chapter! I am so happy when I see a new review in my inbox! Please check out my blog at **liljenrocksfanfiction{dot}blogspot{dot}com/** and webs for pictures! Please comment and let me know what you think!**

_**LOVE YOU MADLY**_

**CHAPTER SIX: DOUBT**

"If pregnancy were a book they would cut the last two chapters." -Nora Ephron

**CLAIRE'S POV**

There had been a time when I would've begged for a chance to lay in bed all day. But now, all I wanted was the opportunity to get up, do my own thing, and not have to be like a whale stuck on the beach with no way to move and nowhere to go. This was month number eight of carrying my two now giant peanuts around in my womb. I loved my little ones, don't get me wrong, and I would do anything to make sure they were safe and sound. And I was happy that I could find my way into Quil's arms at night, I loved the way he held me and wrapped his arms around my stomach. I knew it was just so I would stay on my left side, per the doctor's orders, but it a nice place to be. I loved the way his breath felt on my neck, in my ear, the way his hands would roam and touch my skin, the way the babies went a little nuts when his hand touched my stomach. I knew though that those touches and breaths were not really for me, but I liked to pretend that they were. The touches seemed to get few and far between and I knew it probably wouldn't be long until they didn't happen at all. But that didn't matter right now, because last night, last night he held _me_.

"_Happy Birthday, Remy," I said, with a weak smile, holding on tightly to the pasta salad in my arms as Quil huffed a little next to me. _

_Remy smiled as Quil handed him the package I'd wrapped this morning, the first thing Joan or Quil had let me do on my own in months, besides the pasta salad that I'd had to wait for Joan to leave to make, explaining why we were, as Quil put it, "Very rudely late."_

_I saw the bright light in Remy's eyes as he looked at the robot wrapping paper and big red bow. It was a new Hotwheels track for his little cars. I wanted to make sure it was a great gift. It wouldn't be long until I'd be buying birthday presents for my little peanuts, or buying presents for the peanuts friends for their birthday parties. "Thanks, Claire!" he hugged me around my knees. "Thanks, Quil!" _

_We walked in the door to find the party in full swing, most of the pack in the backyard grilling some sort of meat. "I'm going to go see if Sam needs any help," Quil said as he walked away. It was almost like he couldn't get away from me fast enough._

"_Claire," Emily met me and took my hand. "We need to get you off your feet, Mama."_

_She took the pasta salad from me and wrapped her free arm around me, walking me slowly to a chair next to the present table. "I'm not going to break, Em," I said. I wanted to sound light hearted but it didn't really work too much._

"_You look tired, Claire," Aunt Emily said. She smiled a little too sadly. No one was supposed to notice how broken I felt. Besides, I didn't want to be broken today. It was a birthday party for a little boy that I loved and I wanted to believe that I could be happy._

"_I'm okay, Aunt Emmy," I nodded as she helped me sit down like some invalid. Apparently I wasn't even strong enough to sit down by myself._

_She shook her head. "You're pregnant, I remember those days and I never had to carry around two wolf cubs."_

"_Thanks," I said, rubbing my big belly. _

"_I'll be back, I'm going to get some more of the food carried out and you just relax," she patted my knee and walked towards the kitchen._

_I moved in the chair and adjusted the pillow behind my back. This was one of the worst things about being pregnant so far, the back pain. I could never get comfortable. Not sleeping, not sitting, not standing without feeling like my back was going to break. You'd think I'd be so used to the pain that I wouldn't even notice it anymore. It was always there and it took a lot to get my mind off of it._

_I watched the kids run around and held my belly. At least I had my peanuts to keep me from feeling so alone in a room full of people I was supposed to feel loved and a part of. I watched the other wolf wives too. They were such a great group and they worked so well together. But here I was, on the outside looking in. Not enough to be able to help them like I should've been._

"_You want something to drink, Claire?" Kim asked. _

_I knew for my doctor I had to at least pretend to be healthy. So I nodded and hoped my smile made my cheeks look a little more pink than green. "Okay," I said. Kim didn't move though, she just looked me over like she did sometimes when I came in for my appointments. It wasn't a good look though. _

"_Have you been taking it easy like I told you to?" she asked. Kim had this thing she did where she put her hands on her hips and kinda like she had a super power, she could tell if you were lying. I knew this because I'd seen her catch Jared lying about letting their boys eat cookies before dinner or spilling beer all over the chair in their living room. But I ignored the thing inside me that told me to tell her the truth, to tell her that I didn't want to let Quil down or have another reason for Joan to complain I wasn't doing enough. _

"_Yes, I've cut back to four days a week at work," I said, a lie but she didn't need to know that._

_She shook her head anyway. "Do you want to go into labor early? Those babies aren't ready yet, Claire, and unless you stay off your feet and take it easy, we're going to have to some problems." Kim eyed me closely as I nodded in agreement. I wanted my peanuts to be healthy but I couldn't let anyone else down._

**QUIL'S POV**

The moment I stepped off the back porch and saw my pack, I felt every single muscle in my body relax, something I hadn't felt for, oh, eight months. I was excited to be a Dad but damn, the whole incubating thing was killing me. It was also a good thing I was having boys because I wasn't sure I could take another woman around the house. Between Claire and Joan and my mother-in-law and my sisters-in-law and my own mother, the estrogen was exceeding the testosterone far too much. It was going to be good just have a little time with the guys.

"Look who it is! The little woman finally let you out?" Tokala called out.

"Shut up," I groaned.

"Hey, he's living with a pregnant chick! With two pups, give that man a beer," Jared called to AJ who threw me a beer from the ice chest next to the grill, where Sam and Paul stood.

"How's it going, Quil?" Embry asked. He and Jake were sitting in the lawn chairs next to the table where the few hamburgers that were finished sat. A few of the younger wolves sat near them, all looking like fairy tale wolves, practically foaming at the mouth at the sight of the cooked meat.

I shrugged. I felt a little guilty complaining about Claire because she was carrying our babies, but things were just so different in the last few months. Being pregnant hadn't changed Claire like I thought it would. I expected responsibility that just didn't always seem to make itself present. She still hardly cooks and she pouts all the time and was not happy with anything that I did.

"Is Claire in the horny part of her pregnancy yet?" Paul chimed in. "Damn, that was my favorite part of when Rachel was pregnant! She'd yell at me for something stupid like not putting my can in the recycling bin and then all of the sudden she'd have me on my back on the kitchen table!" He chuckled loudly. "I miss pregnant sex."

It was funny hearing Paul say that because I'd read in a book somewhere that towards the middle and end of a woman's pregnancy they were supposed to want sex. And I kind of kept waiting for that to happen with Claire but she honestly never seemed to be interested in intimacy. I couldn't blame her entirely, she was carrying twins, but it almost seemed like anytime we did have sex, I had to be the one to initiate it.

"I don't miss all the crying though," Sam said nonchalantly as he flipped a burger. "Emily would cry at a freaking Hallmark commercial and anything with a dog in it. Didn't matter if it was a TV show or a movie or even if we drove by the pet store in Forks, she was in tears."

"Kim's was birds. One time I was watching football and Air Force was playing. I see the falcon go flying and then all I hear is sobbing from Kim," Jared laughed and the other guys joined in. "She was so worried he was going to get lost or fly into a pole. I had to hold her all night and didn't even get to see a minute of the game."

"Is Claire like that?" Sam asked me.

I thought for a minute. "No, not really," I said before taking a drink of my beer.

"Seriously?" Jake asked. "Even Nessie cried over the silliest things."

I shook my head. "No, Claire doesn't really cry." She didn't really cry. She pouted, sure, but that was Claire. And Joan only seemed to make her that much more pouty.

"What about maternity clothes? I remember the first time Rachel tried to zip up her jeans and they wouldn't fit, after laying into me for a half-hour, that woman went on a shopping spree to mirror the Queen of fucking England," Paul took a drink from his beer. "I mean, she bought everything. Pants, dresses, shirts, maternity shoes. Did you even know they made maternity shoes?"

"Nessie wore maternity clothes before she even needed them," Jake chuckled.

"Yeah, and knowing how much Claire likes to shop, she's gotta be going nuts with the stylish pregnant wear," Luka chuckled.

AJ's hand made quick contact with the back of the young wolf's head and we all held in a laugh. "Married men talking here. You go about your business, Pup."

I thought about what I'd seen Claire wear lately and she seemed regulated to my sweatshirts and loose sweatpants. I knew she bought clothes for the babies because I'd seen a few of the outfits. And I knew she would occasionally buy groceries or fill her car up with gas but I never saw any receipts or any clothes for that matter that she might have bought for herself. She hadn't done anything for herself in months, since I made such a big deal about that damn face cream. And that was my fault. The truth was, I treated her like shit about it and I had actually paid that bill off with even really feeling a pinch in the wallet. She was making things harder for herself because I had been an ass.

"At least Claire's healthy though, Quil," Seth slapped my back. "When Abby was pregnant with Cullen, I thought the bedrest would kill me. And not being able to take care of Liam and Ashley, I don't know what we'd done if Esme and my mom weren't there. I felt so helpless watching her and I don't think the foot rubs and breakfasts-in-bed could make up for all the pain I knew she was in."

"Oh yeah, for all the bitching I do about when she pregnant, there wasn't a night that I didn't rub Rach's back or her feet. I mean, it was partly my fault she was going through the whole pregnancy thing," Paul agreed with Seth.

Jared sighed and I looked at all the wolves as they seemed to smile together. "The Spirits must know what they're doing because we'd all be in a world of shit without our girls. And there wasn't a night or morning that went by that I didn't tell Kim that."

I tried to think about the last time I'd made an effort to help Claire or to show her how much I appreciated what she was doing for us. I mean, I knew that Joan usually made dinner so Claire didn't have to but I don't think that was probably the same thing in Claire's eyes. Maybe there were some things I still needed to know about what to expect when expecting.

All of the guys made a guttural agreement as Seth got up. "I'll be back in a minute," he said.

"Aww, someone's having imprint withdrawal!" Embry joked and Seth turned to give him the middle finger.

"Speaking of imprints…"AJ trailed off as we all looked to see Kim walking towards us. Jared was next to her in a second and kissed her gently before holding her hand to walk her the rest of the way.

"Hey, Kim," I said as they walked towards us. Kim didn't waste anytime though and her hands were on her hips.

"Have you seen your wife today?" she asked. "She looks bad, Quil."

"What do you mean?" I asked. I knew that Claire never looked like she used to, her hair wasn't perfectly fixed or her makeup effortless but a lot of people told me that that happened to women when they were pregnant. It certainly wasn't something that warranted concern.

"Well, she's pale, her feet are swollen, and please tell me you didn't let her cook? She needs to be resting, Quil," Kim shook her head and put her hands on her hips. I wasn't sure if she could be anymore intimidating, and_ I_ towered over her. But I felt about as small as the little kids running around the party. "Come, come see for yourself."

She grabbed my arm and pulled me forward, all the way across the yard. I almost tripped on the bottom step of the porch with the force she was pulling me with. "Kim, slow down! Damn, woman," I snapped but she didn't seem to hear or care.

She pulled the screen door open and pulled me in just as it slammed closed behind me. The ladies were working away in the kitchen. I said a few "heys" while Kim kept pulling me to the living room. Seth was walking towards us and stopped. "Is she anemic?" he asked Kim.

I looked at Kim with confusion. She hadn't really said much about anemia. "Yes, and she has low blood pressure," Kim said to her fellow doctor. "And she's still working."

Seth turned back to Claire. "You're still working?" he asked and I saw my wife nod. "Are you still lifting the dogs into the baths?"

"Yes, but it's—" Claire started.

"Abby!" Seth interrupted Claire to yell for his wife, who came out of the kitchen wiping her hands on a towel.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Have you been letting Claire lift the dogs at the groomers?" Seth asked Abby who looked at Claire.

"I asked Claire if she needed help or if she should be lifting the dogs, but she said she was fine. I told her we could get someone to help—"

"I can do it, I don't need help," Claire said. Her eyes were fixed to the floor and I watched Seth as he turned to Abby.

"Dammit, Abby. You've had a complicated pregnancy, you know how dangerous this could be for her and the babies. Why would you not step in more and do something?" Seth asked. I hadn't seen Seth get angry much. He was generally a happy guy but he wasn't happy right now.

Claire grabbed for Seth's arm. "She does, Seth. She always takes care of me! She makes sure I eat, everyday, and she gets me milk and makes sure I drink plenty of water. Please don't be mad at her, this is all my fault!"

"Relax, Claire," Abby said moving forward but stopping when Seth turned to look at her.

"I've been telling her she has to take it easy for the last few months but she seems to be running herself ragged," Kim said. I didn't understand why they were making a big deal of Claire washing a few fluffy spoilt pets, how taxing would that be compared to what Kim does or Abby even?

"No, I'm okay," Claire said.

Kim interrupted her though. "No, you're not okay, Claire." They both looked at my wife, but then it was Seth who slowly turned to me. The look on his face was about the farthest from friendly. I wondered if he was trying to tell me something or if I needed to worry my friend was going to lunge at me and we'd have a giant wolf war in the middle of a kiddy party.

Seth's glare was interrupted by Claire's small voice. "Seth, please don't be mad at Abby, she's been helping me so much and she talks to me about baby stuff and this isn't her fault!"

"Abby," Seth turned to his wife and held his hand out for her. She didn't hesitate for a minute and walked towards him, taking his hand and Seth pulled it gently to his lips. His eyes had softened as he looked into Abby's eyes and then turned to Claire. "You know I'm not mad at her, Claire. I just want you to be safe. But no matter what, Abby knows I love her."

"For always," Abby smiled. She looked at Claire, whose tears spilled out of her eyes and down her cheeks. It almost reminded me of when Claire was little and she would fall and scrape her knee. There was something so pained about her expression right now. Abby went to sit next to Claire and held her while she started to cry a little harder. "You have to listen to Seth and Kim, Claire. They know what they're talking about."

"I want to see you first thing Monday morning, Claire. No exceptions," Kim said to Claire.

Claire's small body started to shake and I heard her breath catch in her throat and it took almost everything in me not to run over to her and cradle her. God, I hadn't felt like that in months, that need to protect her like that. "I really did think I was okay," Claire shook her head. "I don't want anything to happen to my peanuts." I smiled a little at the nickname she'd given my sons, even if it was kinda girly.

"It's not just the babies I'm worried about, Claire," Kim said, sounding almost as pained as Claire.

Seth looked back at me. I could almost feel the disgust and blame rolling off of him. How the hell could he think I wanted this? Or that if I'd known she was so sick, I wouldn't have tried to do something? "Listen, sweets," Seth said, using the nickname the O'Brien girls used for each other. "These little ones still need to stay in there for awhile and you have to take care of yourself or they're going to come early and not be ready." He looked back at me again. "Maybe you could help her out a little there. She's going to need all her strength to deliver the babies." He turned away from me again to look at Claire. "And you want to be there for your little boys, don't you, Claire?"

What? Why wouldn't she be there for them? Were things really that serious that there was even a possibility of my imprint not making it through this? And then all of the sudden, it was like ice ran through my veins, I couldn't stop thinking about her not being there, not being beside me in the mornings, or holding her at night while she slept. Not waking up next to her every morning or seeing her smile when I came home from work. Who would leave the lamp in our bedroom on while I was on patrol? Or wake up to have a bagel with me in the middle of the night when I came home? Who would wait up for me when the warning howls alerted to us to danger? Who would hold onto me and kiss me and whisper "My Quil" to me? And I certainly couldn't see my life with our boys without her? "Is it really that serious, Seth?" I asked but Seth looked at me and scoffed.

"Yes," Seth said very low so that almost no one but me or any other wolf would hear. "It could be really bad."

"My peanuts," she whispered to her very large belly and our sons growing inside there. How had I not noticed that she was so weak before? Now, looking at her, I could see that her skin wasn't the normal coppery tone it used to be. She looked like she could pass for a pale face.

Abby caught my attention with look. "Maybe you should take her home so she can rest a little."

"Baby?" I whispered to her and she looked up at me with a watery smile. I walked towards her and put my hand out so she could take it into her own. That was the place I knew she felt safe, in my hands, in my arms. I knew I couldn't make her stay here with all these people and all this commotion. "You want to go home?" I asked.

She smiled that gentle smile and I knew my little boys would love that smile because it melted my heart. I gently helped her up and her body almost seemed to wrap itself around mine. She was so small next to me, but her stomach sort of jutted out like a peninsula and I couldn't help but rest my other hand against our children. "First thing Monday morning, Claire," Kim's voice pulled us out of our moment.

"I'll make sure she's there," I reiterated, not taking my eyes off the beautiful creature beside me. How could I have let it get this bad? I was supposed to protect her, not just as her husband but as her wolf.

Emily and the other girls sent us home with mountains of food, so even though we weren't able to stay for the rest of the party, my precious ones would be okay. Then, the moment we got home, I helped her settle into bed. I helped her change into one of my t-shirts that she uses as a nightgown, then propping the pillows up behind her so she could sit up to watch TV, pulling the quilt up to keep her and the babies warm. "I'm going to get your food, okay? You stay snug in that bed," I leaned down to kiss her cheek before I walked down to the kitchen.

I tried to think about what to do about this situation. I was worried about the babies, but that wasn't it. I was worried about my Claire. As I pulled a clean plate from the dishwasher, I thought about how I'd been with her almost every day for twenty years. She was more than just my wife. I pulled a glass out of the dishwasher too and filled it with ice water. I couldn't let the thought of Claire not making it out of my mind and it was almost like a dull pain in my chest just thinking about it. I put some of the food we'd brought home with us on the plate, then I picked up a fork and balanced all of it in my arms to carry into our bedroom.

Claire was fumbling around with a book, _10,000 Baby Names and What They Mean_. She looked so content as she bit her bottom lip and flipped through the pages. She must have caught me staring at her because she looked up. Her eyes looked much brighter than they did this afternoon. "Do you want me to help you?" she asked.

"No, sweetie, I got it," I answered as I balanced the plate and sat the glass on the bedside table. I put the plate on her lap. She took the fork from me and forced out a smile. "Are you feeling better?"

"A little. I think I'll feel better after I eat something," Claire said.

I nodded and watched her take a small bite of potato salad. She took another big bite and reached for the water. I beat her to it though and held it until she grabbed for it. "It's okay, I got it," I said. I watched her for a second as she took it from me and put it up to her lips. I waited for her to take a drink and then sit it back on the table. She went back to her plate of food but I couldn't stop watching her. Every single movement of her jaws or the way she licked her lips, they were so my Claire. Nothing could happen to her, I wouldn't be able to live without her. "How long has it been this bad, Claire?"

Claire dropped her fork and it hit the plate with a loud ding. "What do you mean?"

"How long have you been this sick?"

Claire looked towards the window. "I don't know what you're talking about. You knew about my blood pressure, but I'm fine, Quil. I just need—"

"No," I stopped her and walked to sit on the bed across from her. She didn't take her eyes off the window though. "You don't get how dangerous this is. For you, for my babies."

I reached for her hand but she immediately jerked it away. "You don't think I care about the babies?"

Her eyes were starting to fill with tears again and I tried to reach for her again but she kept moving from me. "Obviously something hasn't been right, Claire. And you're putting our family in jeopardy."

"I love my babies. I love you, but you… I'm just something to give you little wolf babies, aren't I? I could die today and you wouldn't care, as long as your babies are okay, right?" she shoved the blanket off of her, sending the plate across the bedroom. "The next generation of wolves, some Quileute bullshit and all you need is an incubator!"

I took a deep breath and watched her tiny frame and bulging belly as she stood up and looked at me. Her tears were falling down her face. "Claire, why would you—"

"Just… Just leave me alone, I don't want to burden you anymore," she said. I knew she didn't mean it, I could see the way her lip trembled and her nose reddened, the way her body was starting to hunch over.

"Claire, you know that's not—" I moved to her but she pushed away again. This time though, I didn't let her. I was stronger and I caught her in my arms, pulling her closer to me. She sobbed against me but didn't make any attempt to hug me back. "Claire, you can't get upset like this. It's bad for you." I knew better than to slip in that it was bad for the babies too. It was, and she knew that but at this point, I wasn't going to make her think I didn't care about her.

She felt so light in my arms and I scooped her up to put her back into bed. I didn't let go though, I just moved to lay next to her and pulled her into my arms again. "My peanuts," she whispered. I knew that she wasn't talking to me, he hands were gripping her stomach and she sniffled hard.

I kept holding her as she kept crying, rubbing her back and trying to let her know I loved her without saying it. I don't think she would've believed me if I did anyway. I guess this was the pregnancy hormones I'd heard about, she'd turned from that smile to her current state in a matter of minutes.

We lay there for twenty minutes, every now and then Claire would take a deep, ragged breath. She was so much more fragile than I think she'd ever been. But then the kicker came. "Promise me something," she said in a low, empty voice. "I know that Joan makes most of the decisions around here, but if I don't make it, if I don't live to see them—"

"Claire, don't—" How could she think she wouldn't be here for them? For me?

"No, if I don't make it, promise me you'll name Baby A, Adam, and Baby B, Quil. After you and your Dad and your Grandpa. That's what I want for them," she said.

"Claire—" I started again but this time she looked up at me. Her hands grabbed my face and she stared into my eyes.

"Promise me," her beautiful lips said as her tear stained face looked at me.

I took a deep breath. "I promise," but the words sounded like blasphemy the moment they came out. How could I live if my Claire didn't? I couldn't, there weren't a lot of things I was sure about, but I loved Claire too much to even imagine a moment without her.

I didn't sleep well that night and neither did Claire. She tried to toss and turn but I kept her on her side most of the night, hoping to keep her blood pressure steady. I knew when I talked Joan in the morning, I wanted to see about food that could keep her anemia at bay too. I didn't like Seth's demeanor as he looked Claire over. I knew Seth, he was hardly ever so serious and I knew it had to be dangerous territory for him to act like that.

In fact, I'm not even sure my eyes closed for more than five minutes at any time that night. And by the time the sun peaked through the curtains, I knew there was no sense in lying here anymore. I unwrapped my arms from around Claire's body and scooted out of the King-size bed where I stood and cracked my neck a little. My body was so tired, but I wasn't going to be able to sleep.

I walked to the bathroom, did my normal morning business and then made my way to the kitchen. I put the coffee pot on and leaned against the cabinet, waiting for it to finish. Suddenly I remembered Seth talking about waiting on Abby, making her breakfast in bed. Last night's dinner in bed had been a disaster. Claire had to be starving, she'd only taken about two bites of her dinner before she threw it across the room. I didn't really blame her though.

I opened the refrigerator door and stared at the almost empty fridge, realizing I would definitely need to call Joan for some groceries. We did have eggs though and one of the only things I knew how to make for sure was scrambled eggs. So I took them out and sat them beside the stove and pulled out a bowl to crack the eggs in. I had to admit while I was cooking that I understood why Petra and Ava like this whole cooking thing, it was quite therapeutic.

I toasted a few slices of bread and poured a glass of milk for Claire and I to share, then carried it all up the stairs with the grace of a ballerina. I was getting good at this 'carrying things in two hands and walking up the stairs' thing. Good practice since I would be carrying two babies soon.

I walked in the bedroom and almost stumbled over Claire who was on her knees on the floor, picking up the plate and silverware from last night's dinner. "Baby, I'll pick it up, you get back in bed," I told her as I sat her breakfast on the side table and helped her up to get back into bed.

"You didn't have to do this," Claire said, pulling the covers up and pulling her plate to her lap.

"Yes, I did. You need to eat," I tried to smile to calm her nerves as I put her napkin next to her. "And I do too, so let's just enjoy our breakfast, okay?"

**CLAIRE'S POV**

Quil picked up the fork and scooped some of the eggs on it. He moved it towards my lips but I held my lips closed tightly until he started to smile and I felt every single muscle in my body relax. I'd been waiting for any sign of love or affection from him and here we sat, on our bed, him feeding me scrambled eggs.

"Are they good?" he asked me as I chewed and I nodded my head. I couldn't speak as I watched him scoop up another bite and wait for me to swallow. He fed me the food, taking a few bites himself, his face so much more gentle and relaxed as he reached for my hand. I had been keeping it from him but let him put his palm to mine. This was different. This was affection for the sake of affection. He wasn't doing this because it was going to make me better or because Joan had told him this was the best way to do something. He was holding my hand and feeding me because he loved me. The awareness of that hit me in the chest and my eyes watered as I attempted to swallow down the bite of eggs in my mouth. Quil must've noticed because he quickly grabbed the milk on the table and held it for me. "Too fast?" he asked.

I took a sip and swallowed down the milk while the tears escaped my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. I'd need this for so long, I needed to know I was important, that I was worth loving and here he was right now, feeding me breakfast, and wiping my mouth. "I love you," I said very softly, so soft I wasn't sure he heard me. He didn't say anything back so I wasn't sure if he had or not, but he smiled at me again and took another bite of the eggs. I couldn't stop crying though. The tears were like a small river flowing out of my eyes as he wiped at them with the napkin. How long had it been since he'd been so gentle with me?

Quil ran his hand up my arm and to my cheek and looked into my eyes. "Don't cry, Claire-bear," he said. He leaned in closer to me and his lips were inches away. I could feel that familiar feeling in my heart as it skipped a little with anticipation. Then, just as he was about to seal his lips to mine, his phone rang from beside the bed.

He sighed but leaned over and grabbed it anyway. I knew who it was without even having to see. His voice lit up a little too much as he answered. "Hey, Sis!" Of course, my husband and I were having a nice romantic moment and I finally felt loved for the first time in months, and she ruined it.

I pushed the covers off and slid out of bed. If I never had to listen to another conversation with Joan, I could die a happy woman. I decided to go to the bathroom instead, and try to get my morning started. I ran the water to brush my teeth and tried not to listen to the conversation in the other room but I couldn't help it.

"No, Kim said to call first thing tomorrow," I heard Quil whisper as I pushed the toothbrush across my teeth. It was quiet for a second and stopped the brushing to listen carefully. "She's not faking it, Joan, geez, two doctors said it looked bad." Did she really think I was faking it? Why would I fake something like this? "Yes, I know Claire and I know how she can be…" I could hear the tone in his voice. He was started to believe her. Even if his heart was telling him not to, his head was winning the argument and he was starting to think I was making myself sick on purpose. The mere thought of Quil choosing to believe _her_ over me made my stomach flip-flop like it usually does and I skidded towards the toilet, falling to my knees just in time to puke up Quil's eggs.

I felt the room start to spin and went from my knees to my bottom before deciding the best thing to do would be to lie down. I leaned back, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. I needed Quil right now. I needed him to tell me this was going to be okay and that he believed me, he knew I was really sick and I wanted to be okay for our babies. But when I opened my eyes, I could see Quil, standing at the doorway, just watching. He wasn't moving towards me to help me, or to make me feel safe. He was just watching.

Finally, like after he had made some silent decision, he moved towards me, but something about the distant look in his eyes wasn't right. I pulled myself up, using the toilet to steady myself and dry heaved into the bowl. Quil tried to get closer to me but I stopped him. "Give me a minute," I said, but he didn't listen. He leaned down and scooped me up, bridal style. In the past, this would've been a welcoming position and I would've been happy to curl into him and feel special. But not now. I literally felt like he was the mule, and I was his burdensome pack. He didn't hold me tenderly or carefully, his movements were much more robotic and methodical, not harsh but cold, impersonal.

Quil carried me into the bedroom and put me on the bed with just a bit of emotion, not nearly like he used to be. "Joan's bringing groceries in a bit so I'm going to go downstairs and wait for her. You stay in bed," he said, as I pulled the covers up over myself. He'd been so worried about me before and now, after talking to his sister, he was doubting me. I didn't know how much more of this I could take.

What would it take to get him to see? Would it take me dying? Because at this point, it was a definite possibility and a part of me, didn't wonder if Quil wouldn't be better off without me. I lay against the pillows and held my stomach. Why couldn't I be a good imprint? Was that why he didn't want me? Because I couldn't even carry his babies right? Come to think of it, I hadn't been able to do much of anything right over the years. That's what Joan and Mom always seemed to think and say. And what if Quil knew that? He knew I was no good, what if he actually wanted me to die? He'd have his babies like he wanted, and he'd probably marry someone who could do all of the things that needed to be done, that I couldn't seem to do right. How had I managed to make the man who was supposed to love me forever, hate me so much? I was his imprint, for Christ's sake! I was supposed to be his perfect match but now it seemed like the only thing I could do right, was to constantly do everything wrong.

Through my tears, I looked at the woven leather on my wrist. It had been such a source of pride for so long. A lot of the other imprints' bracelets had been silver or gold, or had started out as the leather band I had, and been upgraded. Mine was the same leather design that had broken and snapped over the years. But Quil would always make me a new one, though my life on the days without the bracelet were always a little out of sorts. No, my bracelet had never changed and now I knew why. He didn't want me to be his imprint, he didn't want to waste any money on a bracelet for me. Why waste money on someone you don't think is worthy of it? Maybe I wasn't the imprint that was supposed to last. Maybe after I was gone, he'd buy his next wife a proper bracelet.

Just as the thought escaped my mind, my little peanuts squirmed underneath my hand. "Would you remember me? Would you love me and always want me to be your mommy?" I couldn't help but think the tiny kicks I felt were my peanuts' ways of telling me they would always love me, even if Quil wouldn't.


	8. Pain in the Stomach

**Disclaimer: SM owns the Twilight empire but Ninadoll has created an amazing universe and I'm lucky enough to get to write around in it!**

**Thank you so much to Ninadoll for being such a brilliant beta, friend, and supporter! If you haven't yet, you need to check out her stories, **_**Rest of Forever**_**, **_**How Wonderful Life Is, Now You're in the World, **__**How the Mighty Fall**_**, **_**The Colors of My Life **_**and **_**Eternity is a Long Time**__**. **_**I can't wait to see what you have in store for us in the next chapter of Colors! **

**Thank you as well to my friend Shojioxlow! We are so excited that our favorite Manning boy will be relocating to Denver! **

**Thank you to everyone who is sticking with me and reviewed the last chapter! I apologize for the delay. I had some family issues come up and writing had to be put on the back burner but I'm very happy to be back! Please check out my blog at **liljenrocksfanfiction{dot}blogspot{dot}com/** and webs for pictures! Please comment and let me know what you think!**

**ALSO, I am pleased to announce that Nina has created a database to help everyone keep track of the wolves and their families, as well as give you a little insight into who we would pick to portray the characters: the Wolf Territory-Pedia! You can check it out at **http:/ninaandjen{dot}tumblr{dot}com/. **Thank you!**

_**LOVE YOU MADLY**_  
><strong>CHAPTER SEVEN: Pain in the Stomach <strong>

"Being pregnant is an occupational hazard of being a wife." -**Queen Victoria**

**QUIL'S POV**

Was it really so hard to be on time? I mean, Kim had said first thing Monday morning and here it was Monday morning and I was sitting alone in the waiting room of Kim's clinic. This was something I should be used to by now. Claire had always been a late person but this was ridiculous. And after the last late appointment, where we'd become blackballed by the office staff, I thought for sure she'd be here on time for this appointment.

All of this could've been avoided if she'd just let Joan drive her. Of course, that would've been too easy, right? And when I brought it up, you would've thought I'd asked her to move to the Moon! I couldn't figure out what it was that Claire didn't like about Joan. Joan had always tried to help out and make things easier but I knew the relationship between my sister and my wife was starting to wear thin. They would work it out though. They always did.

I glanced at my watch and felt a twinge of pain in my stomach. I'd been feeling this way all morning, sudden, jabbing pains in my stomach. It was probably an ulcer, courtesy of my wife who I swear was turning my hair grey with each passing second.

I ran my hands through my hair and rested them on my neck as I leaned over. The pain got worse and I jolted up to my feet.

"Everything okay, Mr. Ateara?" the receptionist asked as I nodded. I pulled out my phone to see if maybe Claire had called and I'd somehow missed it. There was nothing there but a picture of Claire holding the ultrasound picture of our boys.

"By chance, has my wife called?" I asked, looking at the clock again. She was almost thirty minutes late.

The receptionist shook her head. "No, I'm sorry." She gave me a small smile and then looked back at her screen and started to type away.

I pulled the phone out and dialed Claire's cell, knowing I was going to have to try very hard not to get angry. I was pretty sure being pissed was what was causing my damn stomach discomfort, she really tries me sometimes. The phone rang once, then twice, then three times…"Hi, you've reached Claire Ateara, pet pamperer extraordinaire! Leave me a message at the beep!"

I took a deep breath and said through gritted teeth, "Where are you, Claire? Call me when you get this." I hung up the phone and felt the pain in my stomach get heavier and spread to my chest. I could almost feel my lungs having problems constricting as I attempted to exhale, then inhale.

I walked back to my seat. I should be able to ignore the pain for a little while and as soon as I knew Claire and my boys were okay, I'd try to figure out what was wrong with me. At the moment though, I had bigger problems. I looked at my phone again, just to make sure Claire hadn't called during my walk across the room.

"Mr. Ateara, are you alright?" the receptionist asked, as I grabbed at my chest, which currently felt like an elephant and a bulldozer were planting themselves on top of me.

"I'll be okay," I snapped. I wasn't sure I really was going to be okay. I mean, at the moment, I was slightly freaking out but trying to look like the big, bad wolf I knew deep inside I was. I felt my phone start to vibrate in my hand and didn't even look at the screen before I hit answer. I was almost sure it had to be Claire. I needed it to be Claire, her voice was the only thing I knew would take the pain away. "Claire?" I answered in a panic.

"Quil," the voice on the other end said. It wasn't Claire.

"Yeah?" I snapped.

"This is Rit Mathis from across the street," he said.

Why the hell was this guy calling me? Didn't he know that my wife was supposed to be the only one calling right now? "Yeah, I can't really talk right now. I'm waiting for Claire to call."

"That's why I'm calling," he said. "I'm in the car right now, following the ambulance with Claire in it to Forks General."

Before that moment, I was pretty sure the pain in my chest couldn't get any worse but I was wrong. This had to be exactly what a heart attack felt like, because Lord knows, my heart was apparently in an ambulance in some sort of trouble.

"WHAT?" I yelped as my heart sped up and my breaths came faster. I jerked up out of my seat and headed towards the door.

"I'm not entirely sure what happened. I was standing in the kitchen, at the sink, you know we have that window that looks out onto the lawn and we can see your house," he rambled. I'm not sure why he was telling me all the mundane details, all I needed to know was where Claire was and what had happened.

"Yeah, I got it," I grumbled as I walked down the hall of the building to get to the parking lot.

"Anyway, I looked up and saw Claire laying in the driveway, right next to the door, like she was trying to get in and didn't make it," Rit said as he clicked his tongue. "So I called an ambulance right away and then ran across the street with Lindy to check on her. She woke up for a minute but she's got a nasty bumpy thing on her head and the paramedics said they needed to take her in to the hospital. She didn't want to go," he said. That sounded exactly like my Claire. "She mumbled something about being late for an appointment?"

I opened the building doors and heard them both slam as I took over running to my Jeep. "Where are you now?"

"Almost to the hospital," he answered quickly. "You need to come ASAP though."

I opened the driver's side door of the Jeep and hopped in. "Yes, I'm on my way now."

"Good, we'll see you in a bit," Rit hung up the phone quickly before I could say anything. I threw my phone in the passenger seat next to me and jammed the key into the ignition. I pushed hard on the clutch, released the parking brake, and shifted the car into reverse, pulling out faster than I had driven in years really.

I shifted the car hard as I drove erratically through the cars that happened to get in my way. I parked the Jeep over two parking spots but hell if I cared. My wife, my very pregnant wife was in danger and I was in no condition to be worried about my parking ability. I wasn't even sure I'd put the parking brake on as I pulled the key out of the ignition and slammed the door, almost sprinting to the ER.

The automatic glass doors opened and the scent of Claire's blood took over my nostrils. I took big steps through the reception area and headed towards the swinging doors, following the scent of my love. "Sir! Sir! You can't go back there!" A voice yelled but like I cared, all I wanted was to find Claire and make sure she and our baby wolves were okay.

"Sir!" a different, deeper voice said.

"Security!" the first voice yelled. This was not what I needed right now.

I stepped through the swinging doors and tried to drown out the sounds of the other things going around the emergency room, following that that scent until I was positive I had the right curtain. "BP is low, and pulse is slow. Looks like she's going to need quite a few stitches in that wound. Call upstairs and set up a CT-Scan. Then let's get an ultrasound machine from OB to check out the baby. Who's her OB?" I heard.

I pulled the curtain back and saw a very unconscious Claire lying in the bed. The sight made my head spin. Her big belly looked out of place on her tiny frame. God, she looked so small. Her legs were skinny and shorter than I'd remembered, her face even a little slimmer than before she was pregnant. She looked so fragile and her skin so pale.

"Sir, you can't be in here," the doctor said dragging my eyes away from my precious wife.

I swallowed hard and felt a lump in my throat. "She's m-my w-wife," I stuttered.

The doctor looked at me then at the nurse then back at me. "Sir, I think you should still wait in the waiting room. We have a few tests we need to run and then we'll—"

I didn't even hesitate. "No! I'm staying with my wife."

The female nurse that was standing next to Claire, with the rag on her head spoke up. "Who's her OB?"

"Dr. Kim Schweig," I answered.

"Call Dr. Schweig," the doctor said to another nurse who then scurried out of the curtain "room." "Sir, I still have to insist that you go to the waiting room."

I crossed my arms tight across my chest and stood up a little taller. No one was going to keep me from my wife, from my imprint, from the love of my life. "I'm not leaving her," I said through gritted teeth. I could feel the wolf inside and said a prayer of thanks for the control I'd managed to master through the years. But damn if I didn't want to protect my mate, to let this measly doctor know how serious I was.

The second nurse came back in and glanced at me but turned his head quickly back to the doctor. "Radiology is ready for the CT," he said.

The doctor turned back to me. She glanced at some papers in her hands and then back to me. "Mr. Ateara, I know what you're feeling and I know how much you want to be with your wife. But sir, honestly, we need to get her upstairs for the CT scan. You need to go to the waiting room and I promise I'll come find you as soon as I know something."

"No—" I started to argue but the doctor put her hand up, showing me the purple latex glove.

"If you go upstairs, you wouldn't be able to go in the room with her and you'd only be in the way. Please, sir, let us do our job," the doctor said, this time with a little more sympathy in her voice. "I promise I'll take good care of your wife."

My wife. I couldn't explain it to this doctor. She wasn't just my wife. She was my everything. She was the first thing I saw in the morning, the last thing I saw at night, and the only thing that ever seemed to occupy my dreams. I loved her more than I'd ever loved anyone or anything. And suddenly I realized something. This, this was all my fault. I was supposed to be there, I was supposed to listen to her when she told me things weren't okay. But I didn't. I was too caught up in listening to other people to realize the person that I'd spent most of my life protecting, needed me more than ever. As much as I wanted to haul ass upstairs with the doctors and stand by Claire's side when they did her CAT-Scan, I knew the doctor was right and the only way I could help now was to wait.

"You promise you'll come find me as soon as you know something?" I asked. I knew my voice sounded vulnerable, a situation I wasn't used to being in, but this doctor held all the cards now and I needed her on my side.

"I promise," she said. I watched as the nurses started to unlock the wheels on Claire's bed and her tiny body didn't even move as they pushed forward.

"Wait," I swallowed, going to the side of the bed, shouldering one of the nurses out the way. "I love you, Claire-bear," I whispered into her ear. "Don't you ever forget that." I sniffled a little and knew I probably wouldn't be able to hold back tears when I had to watch them take my love, my life, through the doors, away from me.

"We need to go," the doctor said, still a gentleness in her voice, and I nodded. This time I watched the bed go through the automatic doors, towards a hall and then kept my eyes locked on it as the doors slowly closed and the last tiny glimpse faded.

I slowly stumbled out to the waiting room, mentally trying to figure out what the hell I was supposed to do now. "You should call your cousin, the one that's a doctor," Rit said as I plopped down in an empty chair next to him. He had a point even if he had gotten the relations a little mixed up.

"Thanks," I nodded as I ran my hands through my hair and then pulled my phone from my pocket, dialing Seth's number.

"Hey, Quil, what's up?" he said nonchalantly.

I wasn't sure how I was going to explain this or get this all out. "I need you to come to the hospital, Seth," I said softly.

I could almost hear his demeanor change over the phone without saying a word. Seth was light-hearted but when he was in doctor mode, he was as serious as a heart attack. "What's wrong?"

"Claire's here, they took her up for a CT Scan," I tried to stay calm but I could hear a sharp intake of breath from my friend and brother's throat. I could hear things shuffling around and knew he was getting stuff together.

"What happened, Quil?" he said, a tightness in his voice, that I never liked hearing from Seth.

I swallowed hard again. "We were supposed to have an appointment with Kim and she was going to get in the car and—"

"Why was she driving?" he asked harshly. "You do remember that she has a very high-risk pregnancy. Why was she driving herself?" Earlier, I thought I had the perfect answer to that. She was being stubborn and didn't want Joan near her, but now, now it seemed like a weak response.

"She didn't want Joan to drive her," I said.

I heard Seth sigh. "And you couldn't take her because?" I didn't know how to answer him because I knew he was right. When she didn't want Joan, I should've stepped in. But I was too worried about work and not wanting to accept that she had a point. "How did she end up in the ER?"

"She passed out and hit her head pretty hard," I answered.

"I'm on my way now, Quil. I'll be there in five minutes. You have a bigger challenge than me though." I swallowed again because I knew what he was going to say. "You need to call Kane and Meredith." My in-laws weren't going to be happy about this either. Kane was going to be pissed beyond explanation and rightly so. His baby was hurt. My children weren't even born yet but I could understand his frustration and worry.

I hung up and then looked at my phone to choose the next contact I needed to call. It only rang once when the other cheerful voice I knew answered. "Hey, Quil! How are my grandsons?" he asked. My heart sunk further into my chest.

"Kane," my voice cracked. He must've heard the pain in my voice because his voice changed too.

"What's wrong? Is it the boys?" he must've needed to take a breath because I heard him pause. "Is everything okay?"

"No," I answered back.

I could hear the panic in his voice as he responded. "What is it?"

"I'm at the hospital. Claire fell and hit her head. She's still unconscious and they took her upstairs to do a CT scan," I said in one breath.

Kane didn't even miss a beat. "I'm on my way," he said and hung up the phone quickly without another word.

There was one other person I needed to call, one other person that I needed right now. I dialed the familiar number and listened to the rings. "Hello?" the voice said. It was so comforting that every ounce of restraint I'd had before was gone and my eyes watered as the realization of the situation hit me.

I let the tears fall and choked out. "Mom…"

_This wasn't how I had imagined preparing to become a dad. In my mind, things would be simple. We'd get pregnant, wait nine months, and boom, we'd have a baby, our family would be complete. But I think deep inside, I knew nothing for my family would be easy. As my grandfather said once, "if it weren't for bad luck, we'd have no luck at all." Why should this have been any different, right? _

_But I'd known I wanted to be a Dad for years and I always knew I'd have a son. I knew I'd do everything to be there for him, to take him fishing and go to bonfires. To put band aids on scraped knees and skip rocks with on the beach. I knew that because I knew I wanted to be just like my own father. _

_I was young when my father died. It's hard to explain to a little kid that the man he adores and loves went off to work and wasn't ever coming back. I don't remember much about being a kid, who does really? I remember the day Jake, Embry and I made Melanie Gross cry because we said her braids were crooked and looked like a drunken spider had spun her hair. Of course, I also remembered the kiss I had to give her to make her stop crying. I remembered outings with my best friends and with my family, but there weren't a lot of details I could pinpoint. But I remember every detail about the day my father died. I can tell you what he was wearing, the way he smelled, and the last words he ever spoke to me. _

_My father, Quil, always smelled like the sea. Like salt and the soft mist that came up when the waves hit the shore. He'd been a fisherman for years, since before he'd married Mom, since before I was even thought of. He really did love the sea and it suited him. He was a better swimmer than most fish and he was stronger than any other man I knew. Sometimes, when he had to be gone for several days, I'd climb into his closet and get one of his old t-shirts out of the hamper. I'd put it under my pillow and every night, when I went to sleep, the scent of my father was there. I kept doing that, even after he was gone. _

_His last day on Earth was no different than most others, at least it started out that way. Every time, before he left, he'd come into my room. Usually he'd say something about being good at school or doing what my mother told me. But that day was different. It was almost like he knew something was different._

_He came in before the sun rose and sat on the corner of my bed. I opened my eyes and smiled at him. He wore a white t-shirt, with a red flannel shirt over it, his jeans a little worn and his boots tied tight. He wore his hair short and had a red beanie in his hands. "Have I told you you're the best son in the whole wide world?" Dad asked gently._

_I chuckled and shook my head. "Nope," I said._

"_Well, you are, Quil. You make me very happy to be your dad, you know that?" he messed up my hair but smiled gently. "I'm never happier than when I'm with you and your sister."_

_I thought for a minute, the wheels in my head churning like only a little boy's brain could work. "Even more than when you're with the ocean?"_

_Dad didn't hesitate. "Even more than when I'm with the ocean. You are my life's work and nothing I did or will do, will ever be more important than you."_

_He got up, kissed my head, and walked out, saying a quick Quileute "I love you" as he left. I had a hard time going to beach for a long time after that. I didn't like smelling the ocean. It reminded me too much of him, of how much I missed him. But one day, when I was walking home from school, for some reason, I didn't go straight home. I found my way to the beach and tiptoed barefoot into the water. When I was there, I could feel him with me. I could sense his spirit. He had always belonged with the sea and now he always would. But I also remembered that day the words he spoke to me. I was his life's work, I had his name, his smile, and I knew that I wanted to be a Dad just like him. My boys, growing in Claire's stomach, were my life's work. They were my masterpiece. I'd painted hundreds of different bikes, drawn thousands of sketches, but the greatest things I'd ever created rested in the love of my life's belly._

_I knew from the moment I knew of their existence that I would love them and care for them, protect them. I'd take them to the ocean and tell them about their grandfather, dip their tiny toes into the water so they could feel him with them. I'd tell them how the Kwoli design, with its waves and deep blue colors, was a silent tribute to the man that would've adored them. My boys…What I wouldn't give to have my father with me now…Why hadn't I ever told Claire this? We'd shared so much but I could never quite find a way to tell her this simple thing._

"Mr. Ateara?" the doctor from the emergency room stood in front of me. By this time the waiting room had filled with family and friends. Mom sat next to me while Kane stood quietly against the wall but moved to stand next to me when the doctor walked in. Meredith sat next to Joan across from me and Calista paced with her cell phone in her hand. Right now though, the only thing that mattered was my wife.

"Yes!" I stood up quickly from my chair.

"You can have a seat, sir," the doctor said, giving me a soft smile but I didn't listen. I just continued to stand. "Okay, you're choice." She put her hands in her pockets. "I have some good news about your wife."

"Yes?" I asked. I knew the fear had to be evident in my voice because honestly, I was scared shitless.

"Well, Claire is awake and things on the CAT scan look good. No concussion, no hemorrhaging, so no signs of brain abnormalities," she said and it was the first time all day I actually felt relief. Not completely though. There were still other things to worry about.

"What about the babies?" I asked.

"Dr. Schweig is back with your wife right now. As soon as she's finished, she'll come out to give you the news on the babies," the doctor nodded.

I put my hand out. "Thank you, doctor," I said. My words were soft but I knew if I said it any louder it would be a disaster and I'd end up in a mess on the floor.

I breathed out a loud sigh and watched the doctor walk away before collapsing back in my seat. I felt a little better knowing Claire was okay and I trusted Kim to take good care of her and the babies. It was a waiting game again.

I stayed in my seat for who knows how long, slowly twisting my wedding band. I couldn't stand the waiting. I was never patient. I may have waited for a decade or two to marry the love of my life but I had no patience now that I had her. Especially now that we were having a family, I really had no patience to find out that they were safe and sound.

So I jolted out of my chair again when Kim walked into the waiting room. "How are the babies?" I asked before she could even stop walking.

"You should sit down, Quil," she said. I knew whenever a doctor told someone to sit down, it wasn't good news. Doctors and car mechanics, sitting down was never good, I learned that a long time ago.

I sat down and watched Mom move so Kim could sit down next to me. It seemed like everyone else in the waiting room converged around us. "Give it to me straight, Doc," I said. I was trying to have some confidence in my voice but I knew my tone was too shaky.

"Okay, I told you guys this weekend that things looked a little risky. Right now, looking at the ultrasound, I'd like to keep Claire here until she's ready to deliver," Kim said in the most professional voice.

"Pfft," I heard Joan scoff from behind me.

I noticed Kim look at my sister and then back at me. "Honestly, at this point, as soon as her pressure stabilizes, I'm doing a c-section and taking the babies out." I heard another scoff.

"And this would require her to stay here? In the hospital?" Joan spouted out.

"Yes," Kim said. "I'm very worried about Claire."

I felt my sister get closer to us. "You know, this sounds like a great way for this fancy doctor to make some more money. Is that what it is? How much do you make each day, Doctor?"

Kim and I both turned to my sister and I started to open my mouth but it was someone else that beat me to the punch. "I'll pay my daughter's hospital bills," Kane spit, glaring at Joan.

Joan must've caught on that something she said hit a nerve because she put her hand to her chest. "I'm sorry, I'm just trying to help."

Kane moved closer to her. "Yeah, you do that, don't you, Joan? You try to help and try to help and the next thing you know, my daughter's laying in her driveway with her head bleeding."

"Kane," my mother-in-law said, putting her hand on Kane's shoulder.

"Meredith," Kane said back, his voice a little raised.

"I'm just trying to help my brother and my nephews," Joan said innocently.

This time Kane didn't stay back. He was almost in my sister's face with only Seth standing between them, and I knew I should probably say something but I couldn't. "And I'm just trying to help my daughter and my grandsons."

"Quil," my Mom whispered, nodding her head toward the argument that was going on in front of me.

I shook my head to get my mind in the right place. "Kane," I said, this time standing up.

But my father-in-law was having none of it as he took a step back from Seth. "No, Quil. I've stood by long enough and watched you and your sister ruin Claire." His voice was shaking and I could feel his words sink into me like a knife. "You are her husband. You're supposed stand up for her when no one else does."

"Kane," Meredith said again but with more force.

"Quil, are you going to let him talk to us like that?" Joan said but I couldn't say anything. Hell, I couldn't even move.

"Claire trusted you. _I _trusted you," Kane turned to Kim. "Can I go see my daughter please?"

I didn't hear what Kim said. I felt like I was in a bubble, I knew people were talking but all I could hear in my head were the words that said I had failed my wife, my imprint. I was supposed to protect her and keep her safe and now, here we were, in the hospital, my wife…

"All the stuff before, Quil. It doesn't matter. This is a very dangerous situation," Kim said, grabbing my attention. "We could lose Claire or one or both of the babies."

I took a deep breath and swallowed hard. The lump in my throat was there again. I didn't want to think about a life without Claire. "What do I need to do?" I asked. I would do anything, anything at all as long as I knew my wife and boys were safe.

Kim looked over her shoulder at Joan. Joan rolled her eyes at Kim and I huffed. It didn't seem to phase Kim though. "You need to put Claire and the babies first right now, okay?" I nodded. "I think you need to talk to Claire and get her to realize she needs to take it easy. But don't demand it, you have to make it a decision she wants. You know Claire and she doesn't like to be told to do anything."

That was the truest thing I've heard all day! "Okay," I said.

"As soon as we get the pressure stabilized, we'll do the c-section. I'd like to keep the babies in longer but this is too risky," Kim said.

I nodded then swallowed painfully. "Kim, Claire comes first, okay?" I looked her in the eyes and willed her to understand just what I was asking.

She squeezed my hand and started explaining how things were going to go. I was wolf, I needed to be the big, bad, strong wolf I was. But deep inside I was freaking out.

"This is absurd, Quil. Women have had babies for millions of years and you think they always have to be on bedrest?" Joan interrupted Kim.

"Joan, shut it," I snapped. I didn't even have time to look at her, probably a good thing too because if looks could kill, I'd be in jail for murder because I had had enough. "I can't do this right now. I need to concentrate on Claire right now."

Joan huffed. "Well, fine! If you don't need me than I'll just go," she grabbed her purse and I should've stopped her but right now, my sister is the last thing on my mind.

"Is it okay if I see her now?" I asked, hoping my love's face would make it seem better.

"Yes, I think it will be good for her to see you. Remember, the other stuff doesn't matter, what matters is now," Kim said gently, making me feel a little like a child. But this wasn't about me now. Kane had made certain I knew this had never been about me. How had I not realized that sooner?

I nodded to her and picked myself up out of the chair. My legs felt like jell-o, I put my hand against the wall to steady myself, thankful for Seth's grip on me as I tried to remember that it was one foot in front of the other, one foot in front of the other.

Kim held the door open for me and then there she was. Claire was propped up with a pillow, a large bandage over her head and the moment I saw her, I miraculously learned to walk again. With no hesitation, I took three large steps to stand next to her.

"Hi," she smiled at me. It was just like Claire to be so calm about something like this.

I almost lost her today, my wife, my imprint, my reason for existing and she was smiling at me? I sat down on the bed, took one look into her eyes and I couldn't stop the tears. "I'm so sorry," I collapsed against her. I sobbed against her swollen belly.

"It's okay," Claire whispered while the tears continued. "Shhh…It's okay, baby." Her hands rubbed against my shoulders and back. "I'm okay, I'm okay," she whispered. "We're okay."

I felt myself clawing at the blankets to get closer and hold her face in my hands. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart. Claire-bear, I promise," I sobbed as I held her. "I promise it's going to be different. I'm going to be different." Her face was blurred by the tears but I kept talking. "I love you so much and I thought I was going to lose you. I can't lose you okay? I'm going to make you happy, and make sure you're healthy." I started to panic as I sobbed. "You have to promise me, you can't ever leave me, baby. I thought you were gone and I can't live without you, you have to promise me. You can't ever leave me."

"Shh…" she whispered again and this time took my face in her hands. She looked over my shoulder. "Mom, Dad, can you guys give us a sec?"

"Sure," Meredith said. "We'll wait outside."

"Promise me, Claire, promise me," I demanded.

I kept my eyes locked on my wife's though. The rest of what was going on around me didn't matter. The door clicked and Claire ran her thumbs under my eyes. In a small voice she said, "Quil…"


	9. The Error of Your Ways

**Disclaimer: SM owns the Twilight empire but Ninadoll has created an amazing universe and I'm lucky enough to get to write around in it!**

**Thank you very much to my brilliant beta and friend, Ninadoll for keeping me motivated and encouraged, and for creating this kickass universe! If you haven't yet, you need to check out her stories,**_**Rest of Forever**_**,**_**How Wonderful Life Is, Now You're in the World,**__**How the Mighty Fall**_**, **_**The Colors of My Life **_**and **_**Eternity is a Long Time**__**. **_**I can't wait to see what you have in store for us in the next chapter of Colors! Paul is killing me! **

**Thank you as well to my awesome friend Shojioxlow who always tells me to keep my head up! It means so much to have your support!**

**Thank you to everyone who is sticking with me! I have no excuse for why this chapter took so long to write. Just that life got in the way.**

**Please check out my blog at **liljenrocksfanfiction{dot}blogspot{dot}com/** and webs for pictures! Please comment and let me know what you think! ALSO, I am pleased to announce that Nina has created a database to help everyone keep track of the wolves and their families, as well as give you a little insight into who we would pick to portray the characters: the Wolf Territory-Pedia! You can check it out at ** ninaandjen{dot}tumblr{dot}com/. **Thank you!**

_**LOVE YOU MADLY**_  
><strong>CHAPTER EIGHT: THE ERROR OF YOUR WAYS <strong>

"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."- **Father Theodore Hesburgh**

**QUIL'S POV**

As a guy, I won't admit this to many people, but even I think baby clothes are about the cutest damn thing on the planet. They're always so tiny and soft. Not to mention, when you're having twins, you get these adorable pieces of fabrics in pairs!

The two onesies that I was presently folding and placing in the small bag were bright red with monogramming on them. "Q" and "A" in soft white letters over black pawprints in the center of each. The cute meter was off the chart with these things. And the thought of my soon-to-be sons wearing them as we bring them home from the hospital, makes it even more precious.

I pick both up, giving the nursery one last look. It was ready for the babies, for my sons. But the question is, am I? Is Claire? Are we as a couple ready for this? I sigh out loud as I flip the lights off and carry the onesies down the hall to Claire and mine's room. The bedroom seems darker without Claire here. It doesn't smell the same either and the whole house feels empty without her.

I pull the empty suitcase from the closet and try putting it on the bed without disturbing anything. My job today was to pack the hospital bag for Claire and the babies. I'd been given a list of what to pack for the boys but I wasn't entirely sure what I was going to pack for my wife. I gently placed the onesies in the suitcase and then head to the dresser to search through Claire's clothes. And then comes the great conundrum of exactly what to pack for her. I know I need to make sure it was something she'd like or at least something that matched. But this is something that Claire was supposed to be doing, something that we shouldn't be rushed to do. Things never seem to work out quite like they were supposed to for us.

I pull the first drawer open and pulled out a pair of underwear, then a specific white bra I was told I had to get for nursing purposes. I close the drawer and head to the closet to look through the shirts. I was told a button up was a necessity but the hell if I knew which one would be what she'd need. I run my fingers over the tops of a few. Pink, purple, black, more pink. They all look like they could work but just didn't seem like what she might want. Until I find it.

It shouldn't surprise me to see it in there but it does. In the mix of pinks and purples, sticking out like a sore thumb, is a red and black flannel shirt. More importantly, it's my red and black flannel shirt. In the midst of all of Claire's clothes, my shirt rests on the hanger like it was made to be there. I pull it off the hanger and out of the closet, bringing it up to my nose to inhale. It may have been my shirt, but it's Claire's scent all over it. It's so strong it brings me to my knees as my brain floods with Claire. Everything about her comes to my mind, her smile, her hair, the way she giggles. The way she always looks me in the eyes when she says I love you. The way she always wants to cuddle after we make love. And like a knife to the stomach, I remember the conversation we had in the hospital just the day before.

_Claire's small voice sent shivers down my spine. "Quil…" I looked into her brown eyes and felt my heart skip. "We need to talk." I hated those words, they were like the kiss of death. _

"_Claire, I—" I started but Claire put her hand up to stop me again._

_She took a deep breath and put her hand on my cheek. "Quil, this was really bad. Kim says the babies or I could've died. This is not okay."_

"_I know, baby. I promise I'm going to do better," I said._

_Claire looked down at her stomach and rubbed her hands over it. "Do you know how much I love my peanuts? I can't lose them. And I really don't want to die, Quil. I want to see my babies. They need me, I need them. I need someone to love me."_

"_Don't talk like that, Claire," I said, shaking my head vigorously. "You know I love you."_

"_Throughout this whole pregnancy, something that was supposed to be about you and me, you made it about everybody else but you and me. You never listened. Everything was always about how Joan does things and what Joan would do. But this is not Joan's family. This is supposed to be our family. Why was I not enough for you?" Her eyes were watering and she wasn't looking at me anymore. "When I was younger, you always made me feel like I was the most important thing in the world. I felt like I could do anything, be anything, because no matter what, I would always have you." She swallowed hard and her voice cracked. I could feel that pain in the pit of my stomach again but this time I knew I wasn't feeling Claire's physical pain, I was feeling every negative thing I'd said to her in the last eight months, every time I'd undermined what she said. All of it felt far worse than any other pain._

"_You will, baby, you'll always have me," I reached up to touch her cheek but she turned her head._

"_I know I needed to grow up, I knew there were a lot of things I needed to learn. And I would do it all because it mattered to you," she ran her hands over her stomach again. "And to my peanuts." This time she looked up sadly at me. "But I'm not the wife you wanted, am I? You made that very obvious these past few months." _

"_Claire, I've always—"_

"_When the boys are born, we're going to go stay with my parents," Claire looked dead in my eyes. Surely she couldn't be serious. She was going to take the babies? She was going to leave me? She was my Claire, I'd been with her longer than I'd been without her. "I won't keep you from them, you can see them anytime you want. We'll work out a schedule or something."_

"_But you're my Claire…" I whispered, feeling suddenly like she'd punched me. How could she think that I didn't want her? That I didn't want our family? How could she think that?_

"_I'll always be your Claire, but you …you were never my Quil," she said softer than I'd ever heard her voice. _

"_Claire, please don't," I said. This seriously could not be happening right now. Why was she saying these things?_

"_No, Quil. I can't have three people in our marriage anymore. It's either you and me or you and Joan but I can't do it. I won't do it, I won't put my peanuts through that," Claire's voice was sterner this time. "Please don't make this harder than it already is."_

_I shook my head again and this time stood to my feet. "I'm not letting you go, Claire. You're MINE," I said with a growl in my voice. "You and the babies, I won't let you do this."_

"_You don't have a choice, Quil," she said. I could hear the exhaustion in her voice but this was a fight I was not going to lose. _

"_Yes, I do. I can't be without you, I can't. If you leave," I started, knowing full well I wouldn't be able to finish that sentence. In my mind, there would never be the possibility of a world without my Claire, without us being together._

"_This is not something I'm going to argue about, you made this decision for me, months ago," Claire's voice started to shake as it grew louder. "I think you should go, I don't want to do this right now."_

"_No, I'm not leaving you," I said. I was trying to sound as forceful and determined as all the strength I could muster made me. "This isn't fair, Claire."_

_Claire's head snapped to me and this time, she didn't hesitate to yell. "This isn't about what's fair, Quil! This isn't about what's best for you! This is about me and the babies!" Her face was red with anger and the monitors next to started to beep faster. "Just…Just go!"_

"_No!" I yelled back through the chorus of the machines._

"_Go! I don't want you here! Get out!" She screamed while the beeps grew faster until they were almost a continuous tone. "Go, now!" Her tears started to roll down her cheeks and I could feel my world crumbling around me. The door swung open as a sob came from Claire and a team of nurses and Kim rush in. "Get out! Get out! Get out!" _

"_Claire, you need to calm down," Kim said, holding onto Claire's shoulders and looking in her eyes before turning to me. "Go Quil, just give her some time to calm down."_

"_I can't—" I couldn't hold the tears back anymore and felt my own sob start. Kane slipped in through the door, Seth hot on his heels. I was expecting Kane to be the one to start a fight, but he immediately went to Claire._

"_Quil, you really do need to leave. Let them do their job and let Claire handle this, okay?" Seth said. _

_I shook my head as I looked at Claire, huddled in her father's arms. "I love him so much, Daddy…I love him…" She sobbed as I rubbed my eyes and pushed past Seth to leave the room. _

I pull the shirt up to my nose and inhale Claire's scent, trying very hard not to think about how lost I feel right now without her. It's only been a day but it seems like an eternity. For the most part, I kept myself in the waiting room, listening for any news about anything. Luckily, even though Claire had kicked me out of the room and effectively out of her life, Kim and Seth keep me up to date on the latest important information.

Claire made a list of the things she needed from the house and then Calista passed it on to me. It actually surprised me that she was the one to give it to me. She put her hand out with the list and I took it. She didn't let go though. She held onto it and looked me dead in the eyes.

"_Don't let her leave, Quil. If she really insists on going home with Mom and Dad, you should go too. Don't lose her like this," Calista said. "I've always envied what you two have, it's so special and what I wouldn't give for that. Don't let it go, fight for her."_

_I already knew she was right, I knew I couldn't let Claire go. "I won't," I said. "I won't."_

_Calista let the list go and as I looked at it, I knew this errand wasn't exactly a big task but at this point, I felt lucky to just know I was still needed. Sure this was something anyone else could've done but I was so glad to do it._

I take the shirt and fold it as best I could as I lift myself up from the floor. I put the shirt next to the boys' shirts and then find a pair of sweatpants for Claire and put them in the bag, going into the bathroom to get a few of the toiletries on the list.

Toothbrush check, toothpaste check. Her hairbrush sits next to the sink, a post-it note on the mirror reminding her to pay the rent on the shop. I can take care of that for her. It hits me again that this isn't how it was supposed to be like. We're supposed to be woken up in the middle of the night because her water broke. She's not supposed to be lying in the hospital, waiting.

I finish the few last things on the list and then zip up the bag. I pat Ero's head, fill his bowl and then head to the Jeep, taking a few deep breaths as I drive to the hospital. Am I worried that she might actually kick me out of the room again? I am but, dammit, I'm determined to be the one to deliver this bag to my wife.

I park the car and walk through the waiting room, past a few of my family members, right through to Claire's room. There're no voices coming from the room and I'm sure what the protocol is here, but I am her husband, her wolf, and no one's keeping me out. So I push the door open gently, just a bit and pop my head in. Claire's asleep in the bed and Calista sits in the chair with a book in her hands.

"Hey," I whisper to her as I slip into the room. Calista looks up and Claire's eyes pop open. "I have the bag."

Calista looks at Claire who stared at me. "You can put the bag over there," Claire said, pointing to the small closet area. I do as she asked, putting the bag in the closet and then putting my hands in my pockets and standing a bit awkwardly. The good news is that she hasn't kicked me out yet.

"I'm going to head home, I think," Calista says, easing the tension in the room.

I actually expect Claire to protest and beg her sister to stay, just so she wouldn't have to be stuck in the room alone with me. Surprisingly though, she doesn't. I watch as Calista gives her a hug and kiss on the cheek, gives me a nod and a small smile, and then she leaves.

I look at the empty chair that Calista had been sitting in. "Can I sit?" I ask softly. Claire nods her head and I sit down. Her color is so much better, her face a little brighter but she's still not the old Claire. "How are you feeling, baby?"

"Better," she says quietly. "I have to get my blood pressure up more though."

"I'm glad you're better though," I smile. I can tell she was trying to smile back at me but it's an empty attempt. Where has my Claire gone? Where has that shiny, glittery girl gone? The girl that gave me the German Shepherd puppy, the girl that brought me the purple stones from the beach. The girl that smiled so big as she took my last name that my heart skipped a beat. Her eyes look like she'd lived a thousand lifetimes and I suddenly feel like I had been punched in the chest. "Baby, I'm so sorry…"

I honestly half expect Claire to stop me. She normally does, she always fights back to tell me there's nothing to be sorry for but that's not the case now. She knows, she knows what I've done. When I couldn't see it, she lived it. Instead of saying anything to me, she looks down at the blanket that covers her stomach, her hands laying on top of it, full of needles and IVs and tape.

"I thought…I thought things were okay, I thought I was helping. I thought you needed—"

"Why? Why did you think I needed help?" she doesn't raise her voice, she doesn't even raise her eyes to me.

I shake my head a little. How do I explain this? "My dad died when I was 10 years old and my mom worked three jobs just to keep us fed. Joan took care of everything. She pushed me to go to school, to work hard; she cooked and cleaned the house. She did it all. I just thought…I thought you needed that help."

"But why?"

"I imprinted on you when you were two years old, Claire. I've watched you grow, I've gone from your friend to your lover to your husband. I guess in my mind, I just, I just thought you were still young and there were so many things I didn't think you could or should take care of." She still doesn't look at me. "So I let Joan do what I thought she did best. I let her take care of everything, so you wouldn't have to."

Before I even have time to take a breath, Claire answers back. "But this wasn't something Joan should be a part of. This was our marriage, Quil. You and me, no one else."

"But I just thought you needed the help, I thought there was so much for you to learn. There were so many things that I wasn't sure you could take care of. I thought if you had help, you'd be able to learn and I thought Joan would be the perfect person to help until you could get there," I said. We weren't raising our voices. Our words were strong but we didn't yell, which makes it even worse. Old Claire would have yelled and screamed, Old Claire was a passionate fighter. This Claire doesn't look like she has much fight left in her.

She sighs loudly. "Do you remember when Embry and Petra first got married?" I nod. "Do you remember how much she knew about being a wife? Nothing. She knew even less than I did. But he gave her space, he let her learn. Why couldn't you do that?" I know she doesn't really want me to answer, which is good because I really don't have a good answer for her. Even though she keeps her head down, I see the tears start to stain the blanket. "Emily, my Mom, they're good wives. I watched them, I learned things from them. Even Nessie, do you know how much I learned from her? We used to play dolls together but she helped teach me about being a good imprint, a good wife." She takes an unsteady breath. "Why didn't you have faith in me?"

"Claire…" What can I say to that? "I was an idiot…"

"Yeah, well, I'm not going to argue with that," she says and it makes me chuckle but not Claire. She's pretty damn serious.

The door creaks open as a nurse peaks in. "How's everything going in here?"

Claire looks at her, letting me get a full view of her teary-eyed face. "I'm okay," she says through a shaky breath.

The nurse walks into the room, making Claire sit back. She pokes and prods and takes Claire's blood pressure again before leaving. "Try to get some rest, Mrs. Ateara. You won't get much sleep when you have two babies to take care of," the nurse smiles and I watch as Claire rubs her belly and nodsd. "Have a good night," she says as the door clicks behind her.

"Claire…" I say again, feeling like a broken record.

"I need to rest, Quil. We can talk more later," my stubborn wife answers. She closes her eyes and leans back further. I'm sure what's going to happen but I'll wait, if she wants to rest, I'll let her.

I listen as Claire's drifts off, her breathing slow and the small pregnancy-developed snores start and I know she's fast asleep. There are a lot of things that I know I need to do, to get things back to the way they need to be. And I know what I need to do first.

I slip silently out of the room and stand in the hallway, dialing the familiar number, listening to it ring. Part of me actually hopes no one would answer. Then I could take the coward's way out and just leave a message explaining how things need to be. But of course, I can never get so lucky.

"Hey Quil, sorry I'm running a little late, I'm bringing your favorite apple fritters though," the voice says with a little too much glee for the occasion.

"Joan," I swallow. "I have a favor to ask."

"Of course, anything," she says without missing a beat.

I take a deep fortifying breath and run my free hand through my hair. "I need you to stay home for a bit, kinda give us a little space."

There's a pregnant pause on the other end and I wonder what my big sister could be thinking and I hope it's not nearly as bad as I'm imagining. "You can't be serious," she says after at least two minutes of silence.

"I am. Right now, we need some time to figure some things out. I need to give Claire my complete attention," I answer.

"This is about Claire?" I hear the venom in her voice come up.

"Yes, I let things get out of hand. I'm very thankful for all your help but—"

"What did she say to you to make you turn on your own family? What did that child say?"

I feel my heckles rise on my neck. The wolf inside of me is all about protecting his mate and his cubs, and part of me wonders where the hell he's been these last few months. "She's not a child, Joan. She's my wife and right now she's very sick. I should've been listening to her and letting her do things on her own. I just thought—"

"That she was too immature to handle it? Because if that's the case, you know you're right. Think about the type of wife she's been over the last two years. She hasn't been able to do anything on her own, Quil."

My hair stands up further as I take a deep breath. "Because I never gave her a chance to. I relied on you so much, I always have, Joan. I'm very grateful you're my sister. You know that. I've always been able to count on you. But right now, my wife and I need to stand on our own two feet for awhile."

Joan chuckles on the other end. "Yeah, and how long before one of you burns the house down? Or starves to death? In case you forgot, you're about to have two babies come into your house. Who's going to be there to pick up the pieces when you both inevitably screw up? You can't super glue babies back together like you did Aunt Rosalind's vase that _your wife_ broke. Who's going to help you then?"

I almost instinctively feel my body stand up a little straighter. "We can do this, Joan. I'm not saying we won't need help, but I think right now, we need to try to do this on our own. I know we're going to be able to do this, I know Claire's going to be able to and I should've known all along."

"We'll see," Joan says with disdain and I wonder if she's always been like this when it comes to Claire. "I can't believe you, Quil. What would Dad say? What would Grandpa say? Picking some girl over your family. Tsk, tsk."

Her words sting and I have to remind myself for a minute that what she said was out of hurt and jealousy. I remind myself she doesn't understand what that means to me. "I'm not picking _some_ girl over my family, Joan. I'm picking my wife, who is my family. Please don't say anything else you may regret."

"Fine," she says. "You know how to get a hold of me when you need me. And trust me, you'll need me. I don't think for a moment Claire's going to be able to take care of you, a house, and kids. But you go ahead and indulge your little wife for as long as you need to, little brother."

I don't even get a chance to retort as the line goes dead. Probably good since I'm not sure exactly what to say to get my point across. At least I've finally done what I should've done months, years ago. I stood up for me, and more importantly, I stood up for Claire.

I sigh as I put my phone back in my pocket and walk back into Claire's room. She's fast asleep and I smile at how peaceful she looks. Her hands on her stomach, while she snores. She's truly an amazing woman. Why has it taken me so long to realize this? I've always known she's special but I've never realized how awesome she is. Here she is, this tiny figure with a voice that could overpower anyone. How could I have not known she could do anything?

I walk to the side of the bed and run my hand gently over her hair, pushing it off her face as I leaned down and kissed her forehead. She snorts and mumbles, "Good boy, Eros." She's so damn cute I think as tears fill my eyes.

"We're going to be okay, baby. I promise, I promise with everything I am," I whisper. I won't let anything like this happen to us again. We are going to be okay and I am going to do everything in my power to make sure of it.


	10. Dumbasses

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, as evident by her enormous bank account, but Ninadoll has created an amazing universe and I'm lucky enough to get to write around in it!**

**Thank you very much to my brilliant beta and friend, Ninadoll for keeping me motivated and encouraged, and for creating this kickass universe! If you haven't yet, you need to check out her stories,**_**Rest of Forever**_**,**_**How Wonderful Life Is, Now You're in the World,**____**How the Mighty Fall**_**, **_**The Colors of My Life **_**and **_**Eternity is a Long Time**__**. **_**My new favorite character is Keegan! You'll know why when you read the next chapter!**

**Thank you as well to my awesome friend Shojioxlow who always tells me to keep my head up and encourages me!**

**Please check out my blog at **liljenrocksfanfiction{dot}blogspot{dot}com/** and webs for pictures! Please comment and let me know what you think! ALSO, I am pleased to announce that Nina has created a database to help everyone keep track of the wolves and their families, as well as give you a little insight into who we would pick to portray the characters: the Wolf Territory-Pedia! You can check it out at ** ninaandjen{dot}tumblr{dot}com/. **Thank you!**

_**LOVE YOU MADLY**_  
><strong>CHAPTER NINE: DUMBASSES<strong>

"Families aren't easy to join. They're like an exclusive country club where membership makes impossible demands and the dues for an outsider are exorbitant." –Erma Bombeck

**QUIL'S POV**

If there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's that you never can predict what family has in store for you. Sure, you can plan and try to keep things organized but the truth is, when it comes down to it, the only thing you can be sure of with family is that you can't really be sure of anything at all.

"Quil…" a familiar voice says softly, trying to wake me from my nap. The big bad wolf was asleep and not interested in waking up at all and the nearness of my imprint lulls me deeper into sleep. "Quil…Answer your phone."

I'm perfectly content to sleep through it. Until I feel someone running their fingers through my hair. My eyes pop open as I see Claire standing over me, her lips curved in a gentle smile.

"Sorry, but your phone is ringing," she says very calmly.

I really want to savor this moment because it seems like ages since we've been this close. And Lord knows when we'll be this close again. I probably would just stay like this if it weren't for the damn phone ringing. I pull it from my pocket and wish right away that I hadn't.

"Ugh!" I groan and answer it, glancing worriedly at the other bed in the room, thankful that it remained empty and my phone didn't wake someone else up too. "Hello?" I try to sound chipper but that's hard to do when you've been snoozing happily.

"Hey Quil," my brother-in-law says on the other end.

"What do you want, Lenny?" I snap. I'm a little too tired to deal with whatever he has going on right now. Whenever Lenny called, it generally wasn't to chat about sports scores or swap recipes. My brother-in-law only ever calls when he needs something.

"Well, I just, I thought, I—"

I cut him off. "Just spit it out, Lenny," I say impatiently as I watch Claire slowly creep back into bed. "Let me help you," I move forward to help but she waves me off.

"No, I can do it," she says steadily maneuvering around carefully to lay back. She is so much stronger than I ever realized and I don't ever want to take my eyes off of her. I am about two seconds from hanging up on the dumbass on the phone.

"I need you to bail me out," the dumbass suddenly says.

"Call Luka," I say shortly. He is in town, he'd been down to visit with Claire the night before, he'd even brought me a cup of coffee.

"No, no! Please, I don't want him knowin'," he says. "'Sides, he's got that girl over and he probably wouldn't come."

I take a deep breath. This is seriously the last thing on earth I want to deal with right now. "What did you do?" I ask, though I'm pretty sure I already know what he's going to say.

"Nothin'," Lenny whines. "Well, I guess I just had a few beers."

Lies…Lenny hasn't had "just a few beers" since he was in high school, and I know there's more to the story he's leaving out. I know because it's the same thing it is every time. "What you're telling me is that you got drunk, _again_, and decided it was a good idea to drive around, _again_?"

"No," he huffs. "You know how these cops hate me. Sayin' I was swervin' and shit. But I wasn't, I swear on my son's life."

"Leave him out of this," I scoff, and add _you _dipshit.

"If your sister finds out, she's gonna have my balls for breakfast," Lenny says. Knowing Joan, he's probably right. I also know there's probably no way they could afford bail. Part of me wants to leave him in the jail cell to rot and as much as I really, really want to do that, and as much as I'm really, really pissed with Joan right now, it's my grandfather who pops into my head.

"We take care of our family," he would say. Dammit.

"How much is the bail?" I sigh.

I can almost immediately hear the relief in his voice, like there was ever any doubt I'd take care of it. "Five hundred. I promise I'll pay you back," he says. Another lie. "With interest even!" If he were Pinocchio, his nose would be longer than the Brooklyn Bridge.

"Don't make promises you can't keep," I sigh again. "Give me a little bit to get it together, and take care of my very pregnant, very sick wife, before I take care of your shit."

"Thank you, Quil! Thank you so much! I knew I could count—" I don't wait for him finish though, I hang up and turn my attention to Claire.

She's looking at me with soft eyes again and I immediately wish I would've told Lenny to take a long walk off a short bridge, especially when I think about how much I want to be here with her. I'd screwed up for so long and I need to make this up to her, I want to make this up to her. "That was Lenny," I say, feeling like the idiot I know I am.

"Go," Claire nods. "We take care of our family, Quil."

I can't help but smile at her as I feel my eyes go slightly damp. She has grown so much and I don't know how I didn't see it. "You're right," I say. "Will you be okay here for a little bit while I go take care of this?" I walk to her and reach my hand out to run my fingers through her hair. Part of me expects her to push me away. I wouldn't blame her if she does. But she doesn't, she just nods.

"I'll be okay. Just hurry," she says quietly.

I lean down and kiss her forehead, relieved that she wants me to come back. This is a good sign right? She couldn't be serious about moving in with her parents if she still wants me to come back, right? I really don't want to leave her right now, but family calls. "I will," I reply. _The faster I get this over with, the better…_

I turn to leave, giving her one last grin, memorizing the gentle smile that she returns to me. I really hate to leave her. I know this is for family but that doesn't make it any easier. I keep my head down as I walk through the hospital and reach the waiting room.

"Hey stranger," a voice calls out. I lift my head to see Embry and Petra, walking hand in hand having just come through the doors. "Why didn't you call, dude?"

Before I can answer, Petra pipes up in a panic. "How is Claire? Is she okay? Embry drove so fast to get here."

"We were in Seattle and left as soon as we heard," Embry says as he smiles down fondly at his petite wife.

"Thanks," I hold my hand out for Embry to shake and he takes it, but then pulls me into a brotherly hug.

"How is she?" he asks.

"She's doing better. But still waiting on more improvement," I answer.

"Can we see her?" Petra asks with concern.

I nod. "Sure, just make sure she keeps calm. I have to go run an errand and then I'll be back," I say, not really sure if it's proper protocol to tell them I have to go bail my good for nothing brother-in-law out of jail.

Embry looks at me and squints. I know he knows there's more to my story than just running an errand. "How 'bout if I go with you? I can ride shotgun."

I really wouldn't mind Embry's company and we haven't been able to talk much since he's been hopping around the country on Shipo business. "Sure," I answer. "That'd be good."

Embry leans down and kisses Petra, pulling his car keys from his pocket and sliding them into her hand gently. "I'll see you back at the house later. I'll run home," he chuckles which causes Petra to giggle a little. It still surprises me to watch this side of Embry that I never knew existed until Petra.

"Okay," Petra turns to me. "Where is Claire?"

"Room 2224," I reply. "You go down this corridor, almost to the end, and her room's on the right." I wasn't sure if she knew her way around a hospital.

Embry gives Petra one more kiss before she walks down the hall. He watches her for a minute before walking with me out the door. "Do you want to tell me where we're really going?" he asks as we get into my Jeep.

I turn the key in the ignition and let out a loud breath. "Lenny's in jail and I have to go bail him out," I say through gritted teeth.

"DUI?" he asks.

"Yep, it's about the only thing that son-of-a-bitch is good at. Drinking," I say exasperated.

Embry chuckles. "Yeah but he was good for stealing beer from when we were kids."

I chuckle too at the memory of me sneaking into my sister's house to steal Lenny's beer. At least if we were drinking it, he wasn't. "True," I say. Which brings me to another point. "Does Jake know?"

"Yeah," he replies. "They'll be back tonight."

I instantly feel guilty. "I hope he's not coming back because of me. I thought this thing in Europe was big, like vital to the company big?"

Embry shrugs. "Eh, Paul can handle it. Jake's kinda pissed though that he had to hear it from me, not to mention that I had to hear it from Scar."

"I'm sorry, I was just a little…" And there's so many things that I've been over the last few days that I can't even put it into words.

"Don't worry, we know things have been rough," he says. "Just don't forget we're here, bro."

We make a pit stop at the bank to get the cash before heading to the police station. It's not fun handing over five hundred dollars cash, knowing there's other things you could definitely use it for. Off the top of my head, I can think of baby clothes, car parts, furniture, anything other than a drunk.

"Leonard Fournier," I hear the police officer yell back.

"Thanks for coming with me," I tell Embry, grateful not to be doing this by myself.

"No problem," he says. "Are you okay with this? Do you need help?" I know he's asking about money. And with two babies on the way, any bit can help. But this is my family, my problem, I won't let this responsibility be someone else's.

"Thanks, we'll be okay though," I answer.

There's a commotion behind the desk before an officer brings Lenny out. He's grinning and laughing, fighting again the hold the cop has on him. "Quil, Quil, Quil, my favorite brother-in-law," he slurs.

He looks like shit, a white tank top and ragged flannel shirt hanging out of his jeans messily. I roll my eyes as the officer hands him over to me. "He has to be in court on the 20th," the police officer said. "This is number three, Lenny. Try to stay out of the bar and off the street."

"Sure thing, Wayne!" Lenny almost yells before he sees Embry. "Look at you, Embry Call. All dressed up like some rich boy!"

I start to scold him but Embry takes care of it. "Nice to see you too, Lenny."

We start to walk out, Lenny practically being held up by Embry and me. "You can just drop me off at the Spotted Dog," Lenny says and for a moment I hope he's joking, though I know he's not.

"Did you not hear what the cop said? You need to dry out," I tell him. Embry helps me get him into the Jeep. "If you have to puke, you better hang your head out the window and not get a drop of it in or on my car." I add _douchebag_ in my head.

"Whatever you say, Quilly," Lenny says, just before I slam the car door in his face.

I take a deep breath as Embry shuts his door and I rub my face with my hands. I reminded myself that I just need to drop Lenny off and then I can get back to the hospital and be with Claire.

The drive to the rez is quite, Lenny is passed out in the backseat, and Embry's and my casual conversation keeps me concentrated on the task at hand. The reservation has changed a lot since I'd grown up here but some things didn't. Joan and Lenny still live in a tiny, white house with a red roof. Granted it was new roof that I'd had put on last spring when rain just wouldn't keep itself out.

Embry helps me haul Lenny out. Just as we're about to deposit him on the sofa to sleep off whatever liquor is still in his system, the situation gets worse.

"I don't feel so good," Lenny moans. He sways a bit and I know what's coming.

"Don't you dare," I groan, just as Lenny leans over towards me and empties out the contents of his drunken stomach. Of course, Embry hops out of the way…the jackass…The smell is horrific, not to mention the texture, all of it now soaking into my shirt and jeans.

"Sorry," Lenny looks up, with a dribble on his chin.

"That's disgusting," Embry chuckles while he gags.

"Have I mentioned lately that I hate you?" I ask, I can't decide if I'm being sarcastic or if I really do hate him.

"Let's just throw him in the shower," Embry says. "You might want to hose yourself off too," he says with a grin.

"Shut up," I groan. "This means we're gonna have to stop at the house so I can change." This quick trip to bail my dumbass brother-in-law out, is turning into a fiasco.

We manage to soak Lenny, then change his clothes and settle him on the couch. It's a good thing we leave when we do too, because one minute more, and Embry might have to bail me out for strangling my sister's stupid husband.

The next stop is my house for me to change clothes. I decide to take a quick shower and feed the dog, letting him out for a quick run. Finally, after what seems like hours, Embry and I get back in the Jeep and head to the hospital. Almost immediately, I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket.

I don't recognize the number and I feel like letting it go to voicemail but I answer. "This is Quil." It may be it's someone calling about a paint job.

"Quil! It's Laura! Where are you? You need to get to the hospital, like now!"

**CLAIRE'S POV**

Things have looked pretty bleak the last few months, but today, today things seem to be looking up. "These ones are my favorite," Petra giggles as she shows me what I think might be the softest blankets in the world. "See, it has the blue and orange like the nursery and the stars and moon too."

I take one of the blankets into my hands and feel the fabric and for a moment I'm jealous my sons will get to enjoy this heavenly fabric because right now, I would love to be wrapped up in the velour. "It's perfect, Petra!" I squeal a little. "Thank you, so much."

"Oh you're welcome! I love to shop for baby things," she says, putting the blankets back in one of the four bags of baby things she's brought. We'd spent most of the afternoon chatting and looking over the things she's brought, two of everything. Petra has impeccable taste and I know my little boys will be decked out for at least the first few months of their lives because I doubt if she ever looks at the price tags.

"Well, I very much appreciate it," I say.

"I don't ever want them to be cold, Claire," she tells me seriously as she sits in the chair next to my bed. I don't know how to answer her because I know that she's thinking of something from her past, but she snaps out of it almost immediately. "You're going to be okay, I just know it." She pats my hand as the nurse comes through the door.

"Time to check your blood pressure again, Mrs. Ateara," the familiar nurse says. She starts on her task and Petra stands.

"I should probably get home. I think I want to make Vegetable Lasagna for dinner tonight," she says. "I have to go to the supermarket first."

"Ooh, could you make some extra for Quil, please? You know how much he loves your lasagna and I want to make sure he's going to have something to eat while I'm here," I ask. Petra is one of the best cooks and her vegetable lasagna is one of Quil's favorites. "He's been here most of the time and I don't know when he last had a meal."

"Of course," Petra says, the nurse still working on taking my blood pressure. "I'll bring some over for him as soon as it's done. Am I allowed to bring some for you too?"

The nurse turns with a smile. "Mrs. Ateara is on a controlled diet because of her blood pressure."

I pout as Petra smiles her thanks. She then gives me a final wave as she slips out the door. It's just the nurse and me, and she works away, moving from one side of the room to the other, poking and prodding and typing things into the computer chart. "Looking good, Mrs. Ateara! Keep going at this pace and we'll be able to get these babies out before you know it."

"Thank you," I answer although I'm still really scared about becoming a mom, any yet I'm also really ready to know that my boys are safe and sound.

I sit back and use the remote to turn on the TV. I flip through before I find an old black-and-white movie to fill my afternoon with. I alternate between watching TV and catnapping, reminding myself of what the nurse said about losing sleep when the babies are born. It's a great way to spend an afternoon and it got even better when another nurse knocked on the door.

"I'm Viola, I'm here to move you to your new room," she smiles at me while a team of three other nurses follow her in.

"A new room?" I ask.

"Yes," Viola says. She picks up my bags while a male nurse pushes in an empty wheelchair. "The rooms upstairs are roomier and a little more cheery than these," Viola said. "Toby's going to help you into the chair and wheel you up."

I instantly think of Quil. "And someone will let my husband know?"

"Yes, ma'am," she answers.

The whole process of moving takes about twenty minutes but man is it worth it. Viola was underselling the new digs. Downstairs was like Motel 6 but upstairs was the Ritz-Carlton! The walls are brighter, the room is bigger, and instead of a single chair, there is small sofa and refrigerator. It is a much better place to spend the next few days than the other room.

There's also a huge bouquet of white roses and hydrangeas, it's easily the biggest, most fancy flower arrangement I've ever seen. Better even than the centerpieces from our wedding. I pick up the note attached and read it:

_**Something special for the new mommy! **_

_**We can't wait to see you and meet the newest members of the pack!**_

_**Love,**_

_**Jake, Nessie and the boys**_

I have to take a minute to breathe in and out. I haven't felt this important and loved in years. It gives me a little more strength to feel this way.

By the time it's all over, I'm happy to sit back and enjoy my new room.

A few minutes later, a familiar head pops in the door. "Yoohoo, Claire?"

"Hey, Laura," I say.

Laura tiptoes in, a vase of tiger lilies in her hands. "I hope I'm not keeping you from sleeping. I just wanted to come by and see how you were doing and when we might expect those little ones? Nice room."

"No, no, come in! Have a seat." I'm happy to have visitors, I honestly feel like I've been so alone for so long. "I think Jake and Nessie upgraded me," I grin.

"Luka told me you were in the hospital and I wanted to come by and see you, make sure everything is going okay. He came by last night but he said you were asleep," Laura says as she sits down. "Oh, yeah, these are for you." She seems a little nervous as she stands back up. "Where should I put these?" she holds up the flowers.

"Here, please," I say, having her place them on my bedside table. "They're beautiful, Laura." I smile as I look at them. "Thank you." I point to a chair in the corner. As grateful as I am for the couch in the room, it makes conversation a bit awkward. "Why don't you pull that chair up and we can chat a bit?"

She nods and pulls the metal chair next to my bed. Laura is young and still in college and it's nice to have some young blood in the pack. I was a little worried about what Laura might think of me, knowing she might have been swayed by Joan's opinion of me. But she always seems so friendly and kind.

"How are you feeling?" she asks as she sits down.

I immediately put my hands on my swollen stomach. "I'm feeling better. Ready for all this to be finished."

"I bet. You gave us all a pretty big scare," Laura says. She looks at me with caring eyes.

I scoff a little though. "I doubt if everyone was scared," I say.

She chuckles. "Well, everyone that matters was scared." Laura sighed. "You know, I think the best thing to do with _that_ situation is just to do what I do. Just pretend like she doesn't exist!" We both chuckle for a minute.

"How does Luka react when you do that?"

"Ha!" she laughs. "That's kind of a matter of discord between us. But Luka knows very well how much his mother hates me. I just make sure he knows the feeling is mutual."

Laura and I talk for a bit, her filling me in on school and how things are going with Luka. They both live in Seattle so it isn't often that we get to see either of them. And she is a good friend to have because she knows exactly what I am dealing with. The only thing worse than the sister-in-law from Hell is the future mother-in-law from Hell.

I worry about Laura having to deal with that situation. But she isn't like me. She's stronger and really wouldn't take shit from anyone, none the less Joan. Not to mention, with her impressive height, she could squash Joan like a bug, and I won't lie and say I don't kind of look forward to that. Things were different with Luka and Laura too. I gave into Quil. He needed to help his sister's family and I supported that idea. He insisted Joan knew things, and I didn't argue. Quil thought he owed it to his sister to keep supporting them financially, and I didn't stop him. But Laura, Laura was different. She wouldn't let things get like I had. Luka was coming to La Push less and I can see the ties severing. And in all honesty, that is the only way he can be his own person.

As much as I'm enjoying our afternoon of girl talk, I just know it couldn't last. And of course, I am right.

The door opens again and in walks the nightmare herself. "Here you are," Joan says, looking at me with a glare in her eyes before shifting to look at my new room. "How much is this room costing my brother?"

"Your brother's not paying for it, Jake and Nessie set it up," Laura answers back.

Joan rolls her eyes and moves closer to us. "Why haven't they released you, Claire?"

"Why do you care?" I spit at her.

She put her hands to her chest and acts like she is legitimately hurt, though I know there was not heart in there for her to have broken. "Oh please. I worry about my nephews, my blood."

"My sons are none of your concern," I growl back, while I grab the bed rails and pull myself up.

Joan scoffs. "My concern is that my nephews grow up to be spoilt brats like their mother."

That's the last straw. I've put up with this nonsense for far too long and I will not let her speak of me or my children that way. I feel my skin heat up and my heart rate pick up. "You have no idea what a nuisance you are, Joan!" I get to my feet and move towards her. "I've put up with you for years because you are important to Quil and because of my love for him, I've kept my mouth shut but I can't anymore. This whole pregnancy, this whole marriage, you've made me miserable! I haven't been able to—" A jabbing sensation runs through my abdomen and I know I've upset the boys. I immediately put my hand on the spot closest to where the pain started.

"Claire?" Laura says my name as she moves toward me. I put my hand up to stop her. The pain sucks but I've waited too long to have the courage and fortitude to say this.

"I'm okay," I say through gritted teeth, trying really hard to breathe through the pain. It's a lie, of course. Okay was the farthest from what I am right now, and another shot of pain ripples up my spine. I keep my eyes on Joan and bite my cheek. "You have your claws so deep in everyone and everything that you haven't let me be a wife, and I'll be damned if you keep me from being the mother I know I want to be."

"Claire?" Laura says my name again as she puts her hands on my shoulders. "You're bleeding," she points down to my feet and my eyes find a puddle of blood forming around them. It is the last thing I see before I feel my body sway and everything goes black.


	11. Untitled

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, as evident by her enormous bank account, but Ninadoll has created an amazing universe and I'm lucky enough to get to write around in it!**

**Thank you very much to my brilliant beta and friend, Ninadoll for keeping me motivated and encouraged, and for creating this awesome universe! If you haven't yet, you need to check out her stories: **_**Rest of Forever**_**, **_**How Wonderful Life Is, Now You're in the World, How the Mighty Fall**_**,**_**The Colors of My Life**___**and**_**Eternity is a Long Time.**___**I'm very excited to see what she has in store for us next!**

**Thank you as well to my awesome friend Shojioxlow who always tells me to keep my head up and encourages me!**

**Please check out my blog at**liljenrocksfanfiction{dot}blogspot{dot}com/**and webs for pictures! Please comment and let me know what you think! ALSO, I am pleased to announce that Nina has created a database to help everyone keep track of the wolves and their families, as well as give you a little insight into who we would pick to portray the characters: the Wolf Territory-Pedia! You can check it out at**ninaandjen{dot}tumblr{dot}com/. **Thank you**

**CHAPTER 10: UNTITLED**

"**And I rationed my breaths as I said to myself that I'd already taken too much today;**

**As each descending peak on the LCD took you a little farther away from me…**

**Away from me…**

**-"What Sarah Said" by Death Cab for Cutie**

**QUIL'S POV**

It's amazing how much you can miss someone you love so much, especially when that person is in the room with you. I watch the heart monitor beep and the ventilator move up and down, and even though Claire is in the bed, it's like she's a thousand miles away.

"Quil, honey, can I get you anything?" Mom asks me. I hear her, but it's not like I actually hear her. "You need to eat something, sweetheart. It's been three days."

"I'm fine, Mom," I answer. I'm not fine, I'm about as far from fine as I can get. The love of my life, my reason for existence, my Claire lies motionless. How can I be fine when I know there's a very real possibility of..?

Mom sits down next to me. "You're not doing her any good like this, Quil."

I feel her put a hand on my back and I want to shake it off but I don't. I know I need my Mom right now, and honestly, I know she needs me too. "I'll be okay," I say softly, though I seriously doubt I'll be okay.

"She's going to be okay, son. I know she is," Mom pats my back as we both look at Claire.

"She has to be, Mom, she has to be," I whisper as Mom puts her arms around me to hug me.

_It started with that phone call, from Laura. "_

"_Whoa, whoa, slow down! What's going on?" I asked like an idiot, completely confused._

"_Claire…" She sounded short of breath. "She started bleeding, like a huge puddle of blood under her feet."_

_I slammed my foot on the brake, Embry and I both jerked back by the seat belts. "Quil, breathe," Embry said as I looked down at my fingers on my free hand gripping the steering wheel and shaking, the kind of shaking that happens before I phase. And boy did I want to phase. More than I've ever wanted to phase before. Embry took the phone from me. "Laura, where is Claire?"_

"_They took her into surgery, they're doing a c-section right now," I heard her say._

_That's all it takes to make the shaking stop. I reel the wolf in and quickly move my foot to the accelerator, punching the gas. "Tell her we'll be there in less than five minutes," I say to Embry._

_He repeats the words to her and then hangs up the phone. How the hell could this be happening? She had been doing so well and we were going to be able to do this naturally, together. How the hell did this happen? _

"_Do you need me to drive, Quil?" Embry asked. I shake my head and feel a small growl escape my throat. I need to get to my wife, I need to get to my imprint. I need to protect her. Why had it been so hard for me to do that? Why did it always seem like things were going against me? "Okay, okay," Embry said._

_It didn't even take me the five minutes I told Laura it would to get back to the hospital. I pull in the ambulance bay of the emergency room and barely put the Jeep in park. "Go, I'll take care of the car," Embry said as I almost jump out and sprint through the automatic doors._

_Luka rounded the corner the minute my feet hit the tile floor, Laura at his side. "Uncle Quil!" he yelled._

"_Where is she? Where's Claire?" I asked._

"_She's in surgery, Kim took her in about fifteen minutes ago," Laura interjects._

"_Which way?" I asked. Only silence from Luka and Laura, and the sounds of hospital around us. "Which way do I need to go?" Still nothing. _

"_Uncle Quil, you can't go in," Luka says and puts a hand on my shoulder. _

_I shrug it off. "She's having a c-section, I know I can go in. I've read about in the books and I've seen it in movies, I know I can go in."_

"_This is more severe than that," Luka said. _

_My eyes narrowed. "What do you mean it's more severe than that? What happened, Luka? She needs me, where is she?" I asked through gritted teeth, trying to push forward._

"_Stop, Uncle Quil," Luka put his arms around me in a hug to stop me._

_A sensation runs up my spine, it occurs to me that I can't feel her, I can't feel my imprint. "It's bad, isn't it?" I choked out. "What happened? What happened to her?" I barely managed to breathe out._

_Luka swallows hard and takes a deep breath. "Claire got upset and the placenta detached and—"_

"_Don't sugarcoat it, Luka. Tell him what happened," Laura says._

_My nephew shook his head and ran his hands over his face. "It's…Well, you see…"_

"_Spit it out, Luka!" I snapped at him. I didn't have time for this nonsense. I needed to know what was going on, why when I left Claire was perfectly fine and we were on our way to parenthood the way it was supposed to be, and now she was so far away from me._

"_Mom was here," he stops. He really didn't need to say anything else. I knew whatever came next wasn't good and I felt the shaking start in my fingertips. That was all I needed to know, Joan had been here and now I couldn't feel my imprint. Joan was more dangerous than any vampire had been._

"_Where is she?!" I say through gritted teeth._

"_She went home," Luka said._

"_Not her! Claire! I meant Claire!" The pain in my chest so intense I feel myself gasping for breath. "Where's my wife?" _

_Luka doesn't respond, I don't really give him a choice though. I let the shaking that I knew would inevitably result in the wolf being released turn into strength and I shove my nephew out of the way. The only thing I want and need right now is to see Claire, to know she was okay. Why couldn't this kid get that? "Uncle Quil, stop!" I heard him yell as I start down the hall only to be met by a strong arm pulling me from behind._

"_Bro, you can't do that," a voice I recognize as Embry says. The shaking just gets worse._

"_I need to find Claire, Em," I growl. Embry turns me around and pushes me up against the wall to face him. _

"_You can't do that, Quil," he says. It's not a friendly reminder this time though and I know why, I'm about half a second from being a huge chocolate brown puff ball in the lobby of the Forks Hospital._

"_I have to," I try to say back. It becomes less words though and more growling. Luckily for all of us though, Embry and Luka managed to grab me and they start leading me out. I see a few eyes on them, and see Claire's parents, my Mom, and the straw that breaks the wolf's back, Joan, sitting in the waiting room. "You said she was gone," I snap at Luka. He and Embry push me as far out the doors as they could, into the closest woods. "I need Claire!" I growl but only about half the growl is human. _

_Embry pushed Luka away and then holds onto me tighter. "Fight it, Quil. For Claire, fight it," he says. "Fight it." My breaths are ragged and my mind is switching back and forth between staying human and being wolf. _

"_I did this to her," I say. "I did this. She always put me first, and I didn't listen." _

"_It's going to be okay," Embry said, his hand making a tighter fist in my shirt. "She needs you, Quil. You can't do anything for her if you wolf out and stay in the woods." _

_I can't stop the feeling of helplessness, the feeling of knowing how different this all should be. "Why didn't I see what I was doing? Why didn't I see how bad things were?" I ask. It all comes to a head as the tears start. "She's my everything, Em. I've loved her longer than I've ever loved anything in my life and I wasn't there when she needed me the most."_

"_Then make it up to her," Embry said. He keeps his hold on me. _

"_Why did I listen to Joan? Why didn't I see?" I ask him through tears. I take a deep breath and felt my control slowly coming back. The feelings of rage and anger were being replaced with the guilt…and helplessness. "I have to fix it." I take another deep breath. Then another and another. I just knew I have to fix this, and being wolf wouldn't make this better. I have to stay human, I have to be there for Claire. "I have to fix it."_

_I don't know how long we stood there but I was grateful for Embry keeping me calm. He loosens his grip on me. "Are you good? Are you ready to go back in?"_

_I take one more breath. It's not ragged anymore and my hands aren't shaking, things are starting to feel normal. And I know I need to see Claire. I need to. "I think so," I say, though I'm not sure I believe it. Embry releases me completely and we turned to walk back towards the hospital. I needed to know what was going on at least, to know how things were going, where Claire was. "Wh—" I start but I don't finish the sentence. Instead, everything goes black and the most excruciating pain settles in chest. "Fuck!" My knees buckle and Embry grabs hold of me again._

"_What's wrong?" Embry asked. My heart feels like it's about to explode in my chest and I wonder for a minute if I was having a heart attack. I can't breathe and when I try, I was sure that my lungs were going to explode. "Get Seth!" I heard him yell to Luka. _

_I wanted to say something, to say anything but the only thing that came out was a yell, straight from my gut. I was dying. This was what death felt like. This was it. "Help me pick him up," I heard Seth say._

_The pain doesn't stop though and I feel my eyes roll back. Yep, this was dying. I wasn't going to see Claire again or see my little boys. "Fuck!" I scream again as the pain jolts through my chest again. _

"_Breathe and try to calm down," Seth said. He and Embry both have me by the arm and pull me into the hospital. I mean literally pull me. I have no control over my body and my feet are dragging along the floor. "Put him on the bed and I'll check him over."_

_By the time they manage to pull me onto the bed, I can finally open my eyes. Everything seems too bright though. The lights don't help the situation and I can't really focus but I know that Seth is working on poking and prodding. _

"_What's wrong with him?" I heard Embry ask. _

"_Where does it hurt, Quil?" Seth asked. _

_I growl, but not like a wolf growl. It's as human as a growl can get. "Everywhere!" I groaned._

"_That doesn't exactly help," Seth said. "Tell me a body part, something, give me something."_

_I throw my hand to my chest. "Here."_

_I try to get my eyes to focus on Seth while he puts his stethoscope to my chest. He listens and then moves to my back and asks me to take deep breaths which make the crushing feeling in my chest worse. He continues to look over things and the pain is subsiding a bit. As good a doctor as Seth is, he looks completely stumped. Until it seems like a light has gone off in his head. "I'll be right back," he said._

_He's only gone for a few minutes but the pain does start subsiding a bit more. It's a little bit easier to breathe and my heart might just be going back to normal. Eventually after a few minutes, Seth comes back into the room. The thing about Seth is that he is almost always smiling or at least even when he's not, you can just tell he has a positive attitude. But he doesn't look like that as he walks in. Right away I know something's not right. The look on his face, the emptiness I feel, something's definitely not right._

"_What's wrong?" I asked. Seth didn't say anything…and that was bad. "What is it, Seth? You're scaring me."_

_I saw him swallow hard and then he looked at me. "What you feel is not something I've ever heard anyone but wolves describe," he said. His cryptic message made my head hurt more than it already did. _

"_What's that mean?" I asked. I was starting to panic even more than I already was. _

_He looked at Embry and Luka. Seth wasn't usually this evasive and he never looked as gravely serious as he did now. "It's Claire, isn't it?" Luka asked. My nephew seemed more concerned than he'd ever been before. Luka started walking closer to me, almost like he knew something I hadn't quite figured out yet. He stood next to me and looked down. "Paul almost killed Lil' G and Leon when he felt like that."_

_That didn't help the nerves in my body. "Would you just tell me what's going on?" I begged. _

_Now Embry had moved closer to me too as Seth looked at him. "Kim performed the c-section," Seth said. He stopped though and didn't continue. _

"_I knew that, Luka said things were severe and I couldn't go in," I said with panic._

"_Yes," Seth nodded. "Claire was losing a large amount of blood and her blood pressure dropped again."_

"_And?" _

"_Quil, I'm going to tell you but you can't phase," he said. Right away I know it's not good, it's bad. And I take the deepest breath I've ever taken in my life, trying to make sure I could channel everything, trying not to phase again. "Claire's heart stopped." And the shaking begins._

"_Control, Quil," Embry put his hand on my shoulder. How can I be in control when my heart stopped? _

"_Kim was able to start it up again," Seth rubs his chin._

"_Is she…o-okay?" I manage to stutter out. Please let her be okay, please! I can't do this, I can't be without her! _

"_She's unconscious now, but she's alive, Quil. That's the important thing," Seth said._

"_Will she wake up?" I asked. _

_Seth swallowed again. "That's up to Claire," he said._

"_But she will wake up, right?" _

_Embry tightens his grip on me, Luka still standing close to me. "I'm not going to bullshit you, okay? I'm going to tell you what I know, not just like a doctor but a friend too, okay?" I nod but feel the shaking in my hands intensify. "All we know right now is that Claire is in a coma."_

"_What about the bleeding?" Luka asked. "Was Kim able to stop it?"_

"_Yes," he answered. "Kim said she was about a minute away from a hysterectomy but was able to stop it just before her heart stopped." Seth looked at me seriously. "I think the pain you felt, I think that was Claire going into cardiac arrest and then them shocking her heart."_

_The problem was, Seth still hadn't answered me, he hadn't told me if she would ever wake up. I move from the exam table I was sitting on to walk over to where Seth was standing. "Is she going to wake up?" _

"_That's up to her. I think she will, but I can't say for sure," Seth said solemnly. _

_I felt my body sway a little again. How was I supposed to take that? How was I supposed to be able to be able to handle that? Both Luka and Embry rushed over to me and with Seth, they caught me just before I hit the floor. I was going to lose her, after all we'd been through, after everything I needed to do to make it up to her. I was going to lose her. _

"_Don't give up on her, Quil. You know Claire, she's not going to let go," Embry said. _

_But he didn't understand how different Claire was. Old Claire wouldn't give up, Old Claire wouldn't let this happen, she'd be awake as soon as possible, telling me to sneak in an Arby's roast beef sandwich and curly fries, and then fighting with the nurses when they caught me. But this wasn't that Claire. This Claire, the one that my ignorance had created, I didn't know how much fight she had left in her. _

_I take a breath and stutter out. "I-I can't live if she d-doesn't."_

"_You can't think like that," Seth said. Embry and Luka helped to pick me up a little more. "She and your boys need you to believe that this is going to be okay." Seth went to the sink in the corner of the room and pulled a tiny plastic cup from dispenser, then turned the faucet on. He filled the cup and then handed it to me. My hands shook as I took it. Not the type of shaking that happened when the wolf was near, this was the type of shaking that happened when I was terrified, something I hadn't been a long time. "Take a drink of this and I'm going to see if I can find out anything else." _

_Embry and Luka loosened their grip as I took one huge gulp and swallowed all the water in the cup. I knew Seth was right. I knew I had to get my head in the game, I had to make this better. Embry took the cup from me while I ran my sleeve over my mouth. They walked me over to a chair and helped me sit. My head suddenly felt a little too heavy and I leaned forward, putting my head in hands. I closed my eyes tight and just breathed. There was nothing I could do. There was nothing I could do._

_I felt defeat settle on my shoulders when the door opened again and Seth walked in. He looked just as serious as he did before he left. "They're moving her to a room in ICU. They're going to finish getting her settled and then I'll take you up." He paused and then his face softened. "Would you like to meet your sons while we wait?"_

"_No," I whispered as I rose slowly from my seat. I may not know what to do but I know this isn't something I'm doing alone. "I won't see them without her."_

"_It might be good for you and for—"_

"_No," I said sternly. "I'm not seeing them without Claire."_

_Seth glanced at Embry and Luka before sighing and putting his hands in his pocket. "Okay, we'll wait."_

_I sat back down. I don't know how much longer I sat there. There were so many different scenarios running through my head, so many different ways this could play out. But there was only one way that I wanted, I wanted my family. I wanted what I thought I was going to have a few days ago. _

"_Dr. Clearwater," a nurse said as she popped her head in. "You wanted to know when Mrs. Ateara was ready?"_

_Seth nodded and then looked to me. "Are you ready?"_

_I nod back and Seth holds the door open for us. We all file out, with Seth taking the lead and follow him down the hall through open double doors. A large desk area greets us but Seth keeps walking. The open area behind the desk is made up of glass rooms, each with large curtains. The place is filled with different beeping noises and the occasional moan and groan. _

_I keep my head down and try not to look at any of the other rooms. I'm following Seth but I don't need to. I can feel the pull, it's faint but I feel my heart pull towards her. That gives me a little hope, as long as I feel the pull, I know she's alive. Even if it's just a tiny bit of what it usually is, I'll take it. The pull gets stronger and starts to feel like rubber band stretching and when I feel a snap inside, I knew we're there. _

_I finally lift my head to look in the room and feel my breath catch at the sight in front of me. My sweet Claire, tubes in her mouth. I can't see her face very well from this angle and it's killing me. I push Seth out of the way and march in to stand next to her._

"_Claire?" I whispered softly as I stare down at her. Her skin was paler than I'd ever seen it at all. I really couldn't even see her lips and I watched her chest rise and fall slowly. "Baby?" I can hear the beeps and I see the monitors but I can't believe what I'm seeing. I reach out for her hand but stop when I see the IVs on the hand next to me. "Can I hold her hand?" I asked Seth._

"_Yes," he says. _

_Her hand's limp as I pick it up. It's cold, not like Claire at all. I squeeze it before I entwine our fingers. "You have to wake up, baby. You have to wake up," I whispered. I lean down closer to her ear. "Our babies need you," I choke out. "I need you, Claire."_

I hadn't left her side since then. I didn't sleep, I didn't eat, I didn't really do anything but be here with Claire. I held her hand. I whispered in her ear but I wouldn't leave her. Even when Seth and Kim kept insisting I see the babies. But how could I do that? How did I have a right to do that? After all the Hell she'd been through, it was Claire who had the right to see them first, to hold them first, and to talk to them first. Not me.

"Quil?" Mom says again. I can't take my eyes off Claire but I nod and I know Mom knows I heard her. She walks towards me and pulls a chair next to me. I still don't take my eyes off Claire but Mom sits down anyway and I hear her sigh loudly. "You need to see them, son."

"No," I say back quickly.

"You need to see them," she repeats.

"No," I answer back again.

She sighs loudly again. "I know you think you need to be here because you think Claire needs you to be here."

"She does."

"Your sons need you too, Quil," Mom retorts. "They need to be held by a parent. They need to know they're loved."

"They're fine," I say.

"They're not fine. They need their dad, think about that, Quil. They need their dad. You know what that's like," Mom voice cracks.

I scoff. "They need their Mom too."

"And they'll have her. She's going to wake up, son. This is Claire we're talking about. She couldn't leave you if she wanted to, and she doesn't want to, sweetheart."

"After everything I did, why should we want to come back to me?" I finally say out loud what I'd been thinking. What reason would she have to come back to me? I'd pushed her as far as any one person could take, I'd been an awful husband, a shitty imprint, and I had no right to beg her to come back to me.

"Because she loves you and that's what you do when you love someone," Mom's voice cracks again. "Your dad, he would've come a thousand miles, lived a dozen lives, to get to me, if he could. Because we loved each other that much. But that wasn't what was supposed to happen. But Claire, she's still here, son. She's not going to leave you, and those little boys…those precious babies, they need their dad to hold them and tell them this is going to be okay," I look up to see Mom wipe her eyes and shake her head. "They know something's not right, too."

"But how do I look at them without her? I don't deserve that privilege."

"Son, you're the only one that thinks that. You can guilt trip yourself to kingdom come but I'm telling you, the only thing you need to do is see those babies, and you're going to feel so much better," she says.

I look back at Claire and see how peaceful she looks. She would've done anything for these babies. Maybe I owed it to her to make sure they were okay. "Have you seen them?" I ask.

Mom nods. "And they're the cutest babies I've ever seen, present company included," she smiles and I can't help but chuckle. "I mean it. I love you, but you weren't exactly the cutest baby in the world. My grandsons though, those boys are precious."

I breathe deeply and brace myself to stand up. "Will you take me to see them?"

"Of course," Mom says.

She takes my hand to help me and I can almost feel myself getting strength from her. I take a moment to brush a kiss carefully over Claire's forehead and I whisper into her ear that I was going to see her peanuts. We walk through the door and see Meredith and Calista. "We're going to see the babies," I say. "Will you stay with Claire, until I get back?"

They both smile. "Yes," Calista says. "Go see those little ones."

"Thanks," I smile back.

Mom and I keep walking and I start to feel a different type of pull. It's not exactly like the pull I feel towards Claire but it's very similar. It's just as strong. It's not even that far of a walk to get to the nursery door. Mom stops and tells me to stay while she goes in. She comes back out with a flimsy yellow gown thingy and I put it on over my clothes.

"Are you ready to meet your sons?" she asks.

"Yes," I say.

She opens the door wide for me and I walk into a room with a few other babies. There are two nurses standing in the back turned away from me and each footstep I take closer makes breathing a little easier. One of the nurses turns around with her head down looking at the baby in her arms. She looks up with a smile on her face. "Mr. Ateara?" she asks.

"Yes," I nod.

She walks towards me. "This is Baby A." I hold my arms out. I'm equally excited and equally terrified.

"Adam," I say. "His name is Adam."

I can see him, I can see the black hair under his cap. His eyes are closed and he starts to fuss as she slides him into my arms. "He doesn't like to be far from his brother," the nurse says.

I can feel his warmth and when I look down as his tiny scrunched face, he looks so much like me. His mouth, his nose…his ears though, those are all Claire and even though he looks like he's about to cry, I see Claire in his face there too. The way she used to look when she was little and would get upset.

"Why don't you bring his little brother over?" the nurse says to the other nurse.

"She's using the term little lightly. Both of them were over six pounds, pretty good for twins," the nurse with the other baby in her arms. She walks closer to me too and I can see the other little one.

"Quil, his name is Quil But my wife…" I take a deep breath and look down at Adam in my arms. "She wants to call him Q."

The nurse holding him giggles. "Then Q it is," she smiles, gently putting the baby in my other waiting arm.

I look down at the other baby and notice that Adam has quieted. Q is Claire all over, there honestly isn't a single bit of me in him, and I'm perfectly okay with that. He may have gotten my name, but his face, his mouth, his nose, his ears, those belong to Claire. And even though I only have about twelve pounds in my arms, I feel like it's a ton.

"You two are two of the three most precious things I've held in these arms," I whisper to them. Both of their eyes are closed and I think they might be lulling themselves back to sleep, but I have something I need to tell them. "The only thing I've ever held that can even compare is your Mommy. She's going to be so excited to see you and hold you. We've waited so long for you to get here and we're both so happy." And then I take another deep breath. "It's going to be okay, we're all going to be okay. You two, me, and your Mommy, we're all going to be okay." And for once, with my sons in my arms, I believed it.


End file.
